Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

we were asked if we wanted to change that to avoid anyone else taking issue

presumably they wanted to avoid other employees not feeling comfortable with the reporting structure involving a manager’s girlfriend reporting to him on some aspects of her work

so it was an “ask” but really “tell” situation by the sounds of it. If not, rather odd to recognise that this could very reasonably be the response of others to it but not address

Why is he abusing his position?

Yes a HT and junior member of staff at a motorway service station, renowned for hosting education seminars and not seedy hook ups.

If the governing body investigate and nothing is found well problem solved. If they do admit to their inappropriate fling then action can be taken. It's a win win either way surely?

Well there’s no actual policy…there’s a few husband/wife teams on our site….one of which is a direct report to his wife…another where the husband is head of dept and she is in his dept.

Her words were “do you want to change and report to X instead now or are you happy to stay as you are? Some people choose to move as they don’t want others thinking there’s favouritism etc, others don’t. John in facilities reports to Mary (his wife) and never changed…it’s up to you guys.

Fucking a subordinate I suppose

I've been at services with my colleagues plenty of times. I have also been at hotels with colleagues - male and female! Oh dear!

Bring on the gardening leave! Wooop! Massive waste of government money to suspend people on a day trip or a training course but they if people want to report every fart a teacher does outside of school then so be it! Most teachers socialise together.

Damn I even shared a bed with a colleague on a hen do! Fuck that must mean we are having an affair and she was married! Oh twatty bollocks! 😂My male colleague used to sleep at my house because he lived out of town and on nights out it was too far to go home so he stayed at mine. Guess we were fucking, right?

Off for a brew with a colleague tomorrow - just composing my email to my boss so they can suspend me for 'an affair' because I was at their house alone! Oh heck!

I presume it is a win for the teacher who gets six months off paid for attending a training course or going on a staff do. Not a win for the school in compensation for constructive dismissal and workplace harassment. Schools be bankrupt in no time!

Also if this couple are having an affair then the school gets it reported twice - once by the couple and once by parents and wastes time? How is that a good use of time and money?

If found they weren't what is the outcome for the parent? What sanction should a false allegation that can ruin and cost lives be?

But to answer the OP question. I think it should be notified within the school management structure if it is a fact, but not for parents to get involved unless there are serious and obvious impacts on the children from it. You don't know it is fact and if it is, you don't know that it has already been considered and safeguards already put in place to avoid any bias.

And you said…. No?

hiw long have you been reporting to him?

I said yes…it then took 4 months to change over. However, if my manager is absent I report to him…what does it matter how long? Years now!

This happened in my primary school. HT was reported and sacked

Real curtain twitcher aren't you 😂

You seem so very angry and defensive. If the married Head and the married junior had attended a work even then it will be easily explained, no?

The fact they were spotted does indicate it was local so rather puzzling why a service station was required but keep on with the indignation.

Meanwhile op, if still reading report to the governing body so an investigation can be carried out.

must mean you get lovely birthday celebrations from work colleagues!!

What’s your skin in the game?

I feel sorry for teachers.

I'd let them mess their lives up by themselves.

She’s made two posts consisting of around 50 words. Not enough information to glean that. What you are guessing the OP might or might not be doing is not the issue.

oh you’re very funny…I’m not treated any differently by my dh in work. A lot of people don’t actually know we’re together until told otherwise or when they see us out and about. We have both been there a long time as have a lot of other colleagues, then there’s a section of staff with quite a high turnover, due to natural progression of roles in the dept.

I think it is fucking shocking that teachers are being reported usually falsely by parents resulting in suspensions for nothing and this is being encouraged for them going about their daily business and a complete waste of government money.

My friend took her kid to Turkey and was pissed her teacher was by the pool so no it doesn't imply that at all. She messaged me saying X was majorly annoyed to see Y at the pool today! She wanted a break from her after being with her all year.

And given that most training/conferences/meetings related to school is done in hotels then no if it was local and at a hotel then this is common and it is common for more than one teacher to be on training at the same time.

I think it is a piss take and the parents if found it to be false should face legal proceedings as false accusations should be held to account due to the impact they have.

I never said I knew what they were doing. I said if the OP had concerns then she in within her rights to speak to the governors about her concerns.

I said that teachers not adhering to their professional standards or by their school’s code of conduct can bring a school’s performance reputation into disrepute. Nothing about them ‘existing’.

The governors can investigate the claim as they are the ones in a position to do so.

Seeing someone is not ‘stalking’ them. Using emotive language such as this isn’t relevant or necessary.

She is all about the gossip she admits that. So why would that suddenly not be the case?

Now given that you guessed that the two are fucking and should face serious consequences and be struck off on the say of someone's uncle's dog's whisper then that is you who is guessing.

The teachers can report to the police if necessary. And they have every right to do so if they keep getting reported.

Maybe parents shouldn't think like kids and that they should live at the school.

Is he making decisions that would benefit this teacher?

Is he being intimate on school premises during school day?

Are they talking about this relationship to others at school?

If not its irrelevant isnt it?

You very clearly said they 'are' bringing the profession into disrepute. You stated that they are doing something wrong.

Oh she is within her rights to report two adults at a hotel doing nothing wrong.

The teachers are within their rights to seek legal advice in response to that and seek consequences if a false allegation.

It is stalking if every teacher has their social life reported for investigation. Encouraging parents to report every sighting of teachers together in public is stalking and harassment.

Well I think it's 'fucking shocking' if a married Head is fucking his married junior so let's just hope the op reports to the governing body. What a way to lead a team!

No, the OP has also not stated that. Becoming aware of information is not necessarily ‘gossiping’. You do not have enough information for that to be the case.

And no, I’m not guessing that, but feel free to direct quote where I have. I have said multiple times that the OP is within her rights to discuss whatever concerns she has with the governors, which is true whether you dislike it or not.