Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

The vast majority of workplaces have policies on this. Most involve reporting it to the management or HR who then decide if there needs to be separation of decision making and if there is balance of power issues.

Nope the government isn't the employer. The governing body is. They are employed by the governing body. They do not apply to the DfE for a job in Kingworth Primary.

Yep disclosing to the head, governing body and HR - not the government though? I mean if they are their employers then surely they would have to report to the DfE?

The OP has no right to report gossip and something that may or may not be happening and for something that is reported anyway. All this woman knows is that they were seen at a hotel and Jesus we all know how often parents lie about teachers online when they are pissed so frankly I would take this with a pinch of salt.

No, I didn’t say those things. But feel free to direct quote.

You most certainly did when you said that they brought the school into disrepute and were acting immorally and they would cause issues within school. That is very much saying they cannot be trusted.

She has every right to report concerns. Not to post on FB obviously but to report to the governing body so they can investigate.

Actually I think it is partly your business because it's one of the teaching standards.

I think you could argue that married teachers having affairs is implicitly forbidden in the attached, even if it isn't explicitly.

I mean, teachers are often married to HTs or others, but I think the relationship should be declared and open as the HT could have influence over working lives of all teachers in the school and now his/her impartiality is compromised.

I would go to the Chair of Governors privately and let them deal. I wouldn't gossip.

Her concern for two adults being at a hotel at the same time?

What is the concern?

What needs investigating?

FB is the normal route to share gossip as fact when it comes to schools isn't it?

I didn’t say it need disclosing to the government. I said the governing body, the headteacher and HR department.

I am not going to keep going round the same points repeatedly. If it’s a relationship between two staff members, it needs disclosing. Anything else is irrelevant.

The OP is within her rights to speak to the governors regarding anything she finds concerning regarding the school, including the conduct of the teachers. The governors can do with that what they will.

Well if they are the employer then surely that is in the policies to disclose to the employer?

You reckon whoever the education secretary is this week will bother?

The teachers have not shown any cause for concern about their conduct at all. Reporting two adults being at a hotel is not a misconduct issue.

Yes the govs can do what they want with that info but they certainly cannot report back to the parent who is reporting for just that - confirmation of shagging or not.

The head teacher is in charge of the school, so if he is in an intimate relationshipship with a junior member of staff then it is an issue. All those saying it doesn't matter, it's two consenting adults are wrong. It does matter, it matters for their decision making, perception of decision making, staff management, perception of staff management, objectivity, perception of objectivity etc etc. Whether it is for a parent to make an issue of it, is another matter. But it absolutely does matter in the running of the school. Any decision involving the junior member of staff they take is flawed and open to challenge. Why do numerous posters not see this. Leaders can not shag junior members of staff and say it doesn't matter to their leadership role.

On the face of it, there is no reason why work colleagues shouldn't be together in a motorway service station entirely innocently. Or were they seen snogging passionately or something?

Just keep your beak out 😆

How did the pupils come to know 😅

Keep your nose out. No one will thank you for meddling.

Yes, anything against the published teaching standards and school’s own code of conduct can bring the school’s reputation into disrepute. This should not come as news to anyone and the same goes for any public or civil servant.

Again, this isn’t relevant to your personal feelings about the teaching profession.

'I mean, teachers are often married to HTs or others, but I think the relationship should be declared and open as the HT could have influence over working lives of all teachers in the school and now his/her impartiality is compromised. I would go to the Chair of Governors privately and let them deal'

Exactly.

Once again, I said governing body, HR department and headteacher.

OP has concerns, so that is her basis for speaking to the governors.

No one said anything about the governors having to report back to OP – that’s not one of the elements of discussion.

Which these two are not doing. This should not come as news to you. Being in the same building as a colleague is not bringing the school into disrepute.

Imagine if parents reported all the times they saw teachers out together. The governing body wouldn't have time to fart.

Oh I saw Mrs Smith and Mr Greenall shopping in Tesco - must be shagging.

Oh I saw Mrs Baker and Mrs Danson hugging at the train station - must be shagging.

Oh I saw Mr Peters and Mr Wilkinson in the same car in the city centre - must be shagging.

You told them and they changed some reporting decision making. So they did care.

You do not know what they are doing. The OP has concerns, so she can report those concerns as she wishes. The governors can decide what is relevant information or not.

Op has no concerns, she wants gossip.

Her only thing she knows is that someone's uncle's mate's best friend's son said they saw both of them at a hotel. So there is no concern at all. Being at a hotel with a colleague is not a cause for concern.

I feel for the partners caught up in this. Regarding professionalism, I think the head needs to be careful not to show favouritism. In these kind of situations the more junior person must not be given special treatment in the professional environment which could cause resentment amongst their peers.

I work as a hospital consultant and it would be a bad look for me to have a relationship with a resident doctor, even if it was not an affair. Maybe things are different in schools.

You do not know what they are doing.

FINALLY! But you have stated all along that them just being there is bringing the profession into disrepute and that they need reporting and that you knew they were having an affair.

Yes no one knows A) if they were actually there or B) what they were doing there.

So there is no cause for concern. Teachers being stalked in public and reported when they are seen together is worrying. Most teachers socialise with their teacher colleagues and if parents reporting back their every move is going to result in an investigation and gardening leave as one person said it should be then there will be no teachers left to teach.

We were asked…not told…

And say 'in case anyone else had an issue' shows you know exactly how things can be perceived. Nobody is passing moral judgement about what adults do in their spare time, but the issue is about power within organisations and ensuring there is no perception or unconscious bias. That's why the policies are in place. Very few workplaces ban workplace relationships, but they need to know and assess the implications. Very few 'don't give a shit' and they would be taking huge risks if they had that attitude. Not preventing them is not the same as having to know so they can consider the implications.