Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

That listed far more than just an appraisal.

Could they have been on a training course? If it is true it isn't your business unless you're aware that their work is being affected in some way.

Nope, second hand information and it’s not evidence of an affair, colleagues meet in hotels for training, it’s not suspicious. It could possibly be an affair but it’s speculation, nothing you can or should do.

Unless you saw them shagging with your own eyes then all you know is that someone saw 2 adults who happen to know each other at a hotel.

Personally I can think of a range of reasons that are perfectly innocent.

Maybe find a hobby that isn't spreading malicious gossip?

It doesn't though does it.

Maybe staff should be forced to put it on the website who they are knobbing to appease the likes of you. They aren't allowed a private life now it seems.

So long as the parents share their sex life then I'm sure you will find out the sex life of your kid's head teacher. You share it first.

Two of our history teachers we were having an affair (allegedly) and the whole top set got A* in GCSE (I know this to be true) so I think if your child's education isn't being affected you need to drink a big old cup of mind your own damn business (also surely teachers go to motorway service stations all the time taking kids to sports tournaments etc?????? Not like you saw them shagging in the stationery cupboard)

Imagine if in the end it's not true. You would be very "famous" ....

'Maybe staff should be forced to put it on the website who they are knobbing to appease the likes of you. They aren't allowed a private life now it seems'

The 'knobbing' isn't the problem it is who the married Head is knobbing. A junior married colleague. It's all very dodgy whether you like it or not.

Nothing dodgy about it. Them having sex doesn't mean it is dodgy at all. It means two people having sex. Nothing else.

Who, lets just add are not proven to even be having sex, currently it is something that someone's uncle's dog's son has seen and reported back. Playground gossip is never dodgy is it? We all know what kind of crap and lies are shared on there!

It doesn’t concern a private life. It concerns personal and professional conduct.

The parents are also held to the standards of their professional bodies (depending on their places of work). But we both know that the parents’ jobs are nothing to do with the subject of this OP or issue, you’re simply scrambling for some sort of comparison that doesn’t have any relevance.

I wish people would stop saying this, it’s not frowned upon in all workplaces AT ALL, my DP was my direct manager/supervisor when we got together…our workplace didn’t give a shit!

Then why do the majority of schools and workplaces have a relationship disclosure policy?

If they don’t want to adhere to the policy, then don’t do the job.

Absolutely the parents are not held to the same standards and published on facebook at all. Teachers are expected to be perfect and not fart in public which is unrealistic.

Not scrambling for any comparison just that teachers are told to be perfect or else lets make it public for a flogging.

And even if they are perfect they will be falsely accused of not being because of playground gossip.

If your workplace had a UK government issued standards of personal and progressional conduct, you can be guaranteed that they’d care.

Does your workplace have public service conduct standards in place?

And it says on there - must announce it publically to the school in assembly does it?

I've never seen one ever and all the places I've worked in there have been relationships.

And does it say - no affairs or sex with anyone?

I don't think it does so how are they breaking any policy?

It’s on GovUk website. Teachers are government employees.

Who said anything about making it public or announcing in assembly? Completely irrelevant.

I found out my son’s school business manager was having an affair with a much younger parent of the same sex. Both married, the business manager has been married for 49+ years too! Turns out the parent was her husbands boss too!!

Well then how are they breaking any policy? A school policy is not the same as teacher's standards and the teacher's standards do not say that either.

I looked on my local school site and theirs says
"Ensure personal relationships do not impact on the professional role."

Which applies in this case but most issues in school workforces are from a breach of this line and nothing to do with sex!

And none of that requires them to not enter relationships with colleagues, whether or not they are married, hetereosexual, gay, bi or poly, etc, etc, etc.

What happens during appraisals (which are always handled by more than one person, normally a Deputy) is that the anonymised data is then presented to the Pay Committee, who decide whether or not progression is granted; and if there's a personal relationship concerned, the person in the meeting who is involved excuses themselves for that part of the discussion.

Baffled as to why you think you have the right to police what teachers do outside of school time. You have no idea if he’s “abusing his position” or not, you are just making assumptions that the woman is somehow the victim. Unless it’s affecting your children’s education, stay out of it.

I work for a multinational, global company! With offices in the uk…I know the policies, they didn’t care. I am still in the same team and I work alongside my DP literally daily! I answer ti him on some aspects of my work! My hours/OT and holiday is not approved by him anymore though as when we disclosed we were asked if we wanted to change that to avoid anyone else taking issue. Our personal life was of no interest whatsoever. We told our manager and she was actually thrilled for us. As was her manager…

It says ‘teachers to uphold public trust in the profession and maintain high standards of ethics and behaviour, within and outside of school.’

So yes. I would say that anyone reading that who had two brain cells to rub together would know that a married headteacher conducting and an affair with another married member of staff, particularly teaching staff is well beyond those standards.

It doesn’t really matter if you disagree or not. The OP is correct that it should be brought to the attention of the school governors.

This thread is so funny school gate gossip school holidays soon they might go on holiday together. Why do people care about this stuff?

I didn’t ask that. I asked if your workplace had a standards code for public servants issued by the UK government.

Your workplace policies outside of this are irrelevant.