Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

At our secondary school our Headmaster was having an affair with the head receptionist at the school. They had a bed in one of the unused offices in the office block. We only discovered it as we were asked to put things in this certain teachers office and we got through wrong door and opened it to discover a bed and really nice bedding. He retired at 65 and was still with his wife but the receptionist and him were seen frequently holding hands in town. It's nearly 40 years since all this but if somebody comments anything in our School Facebook page it's the first thing people will say do you remember when the headmaster was going out with the secretary.

We also had a biology teacher that had numerous affairs with teachers and when he got caught he had to buy his wife a new house but when we were still at school he got caught again and had to take her on a cruise as she liked her house.

Which they are not breaching.

Many teachers will be into FWB or bondage or watching porn but none of that breaches that as it is within a personal and private life. Nothing in that is illegal so that doesn't breach the behaviour code.

See many teachers on this thread on their school’s employment conduct that staff relationships must be disclosed to leadership and governors. Exactly to put in measures to mitigate all the issues I listed.

Yes it is breaching, definitely professionally breaching, or else most schools wouldn’t have a relationship disclosure policy. Really done having a conversation with someone this dense.

Unless you have photographic evidence and not hearsay, there is not a lot you can do about it I'm afraid!

So many reasons ...
Power imbalance in career repercussions, performance evaluations, job security, favouritism (perceived or real).
It's a conflict of interest in staff appraisals, staff assignments and disciplinary matters. Fosters resentment and distrust among staff.
It's a breach of professional standards (as set out by the government) to model ethical behaviour, maintain clear professional boundaries for all the above reasons, and avoid actions that could undermine the school's integrity and cause damage to the school's reputation.

FFS since you need a point by point rebuttal:

1. Power Imbalance Yes this is true - however you are making an assumption that any of this is happening. Unless we know otherwise I think we should assume that this is two consenting adults…because this is the most frequently occurring situation and no evidence has been provided to indicate that this is not the situation
2. Conflict of Interest (including staff appraisals, staff assignments, and disciplinary matters) Yes this is true - AGAIN as there is a code of conduct requiring that relationships be divulged, we must assume that this is the case and that the rules have been followed. You do not know who is going to conduct the appraisals
3. Fosters Resentment and distrust among staff I disagree, it is entirely up to the two parties to conduct their relationships in whichever way they deem fit, providing no laws are being broken. I cannot understand why resentment would build up amongst staff, unless one of them is the spouse of either party.
4. Breach of Professional Standards I disagree, unless there is a specific section of this that makes reference to alleged affairs being contrary to the moral/ethical standards (hint: there isn’t)
5. Reputational damage to the school I disagree, it is entirely up to the two parties to conduct their relationships in whichever way they deem fit, providing no laws are being broken, and that this activity does not impede on their ability to teach.

Please note: unless you address each of my points individually then I shall not reply (this is with respect to quoted poster only)

😘

It is one of the human rights that people have a right to a private life. Including these teachers. What they do in private is their right and if they are not breaking the law then they are not breaching that.

If they want to do whatever to each other in bed you think that should be disclosed to the whole school because it breaches YOUR morals. Absolutely not. Their bedroom, their privacy.

I was a bit peeved at the idea of my "following" a colleague to another school - sounds a bit stalkerish - but I reckoned that trying to correct the mistake online would just prolong the agony, so ignored it

I don't blame you, @WearyAuldWumman, and this is exactly the sort of thing I meant about folk adding 2 and 2 and getting about 400 - though they just LOVE pretending to be the person who's got all the gossip

Pitiful really ...

Edited to add that my ex used to say you didn't even need to hear what was being said at the school gates; you could get the gist just from the expressions, in full confidence that whatever-it-was would come crawling across the playground towards you soon enough

It’s a private company so no it wouldn’t…but my point was not ALL workplaces are bothered. Because they are not!

Nothing in what the OP notes suggests that there is a wide age gap, say if it was a longstanding head and an NQT. Which if it were the case I think would be unacceptable.

Uh yeah … only responding to one point (badly, I might add) isn’t useful and it wasn’t relevant. So yes, I’m going to respond as such.

If the points I made weren’t relevant and of concern, then most schools wouldn’t have a relationship disclosure policy, which they do.

If you don’t like it, don’t work in one.

We’re not talking about other workplaces though. We’re talking about this one.

Ok... How does your opinion on this affect whether Catholic schools have morality clauses?

Who has said anything needs to be addressed in assembly stop being so dramatic .

For thr trillionth time married bosses should not be shagging married juniors at work it breaks all kinds of conduct rules.

The Head should tell the governors and see how unimpressed they are. I bet he'd get swiftly redeployed/sacked/sent on gardening leave.

Where did I say it needs to be disclosed to the whole school? I didn’t. I said most schools require it to be disclosed to leadership team and governors.

If the points I made weren’t relevant and of concern, then most schools wouldn’t have a relationship disclosure policy, which they do.

Teachers are not trusted to anything in the workplace. There are policies about how to send an email and policies about wearing certain clothing on certain days because they are treated as if they cannot be trusted hence why they are micromanaged and policed so much. That is why there are such policies. Not because it is a concern but because they are not allowed to think or do anything for themselves without running it past SLT.

@Nanny0gg said “it would be frowned upon in office workplaces for a start” I was responding to that comment. I work in an office so yeah that include my workplace. I’m merely trying to explain to people that it’s NOT a one size fits all approach.

' Power imbalance Yes this is true - however you are making an assumption that any of this is happening. Unless we know otherwise I think we should assume that this is two consenting adults…'

Err, you can still have a power imbalance even if both are consenting!

Well why does anything need doing then? It really isn't an issue if the school community don't need telling.

Can bosses shag unmarried juniors or is it the married bit that you have an issue with. Absolutely they can shag who they want!

I bet they will not get sacked for a bit of sex! You are very much mistaken!

So then they have a right to a private life.

Nope they do not need to disclose it to their juniors at all. Maybe governors but not juniors - which would be the whole team!

This couple could've disclosed it and you still treating them as if they kicked a child.

We've had people who sit on boards who have said this would be viewed very seriously, not the married bit the conflict of interest/power balance/potential for work based resentment among colleagues/potential for unfair treatment bit.

How on earth can some teachers on here get so uptight about school uniform adherence on other threads yet not see how inappropriate a Head shagging a junior is .

No wonder schools are in the state they are.

'Nope they do not need to disclose it to their juniors at all. Maybe governors'

Maybe the governors. At last we got there 👏

I think that’s getting on to a different and irrelevant subject. Many workplaces outside of schools also require relationship disclosures. Maybe you don’t agree with them - but again that’s not really relevant.

And yet we have a code of conduct that says there is no breach. Yet a uniform issue would be.

Glad you got there! Well done! About time you understood this is not a breach! Finally!!