Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

Why have you name changed for this? Surely there isn't so much personal information under your usual user name about your own identity that it would immediately identify your children's teachers as well?

On that basis of the unnecessary name change alone, I'm inclined not think this is probably not a genuine thread.

I was married for nearly 27 years. I met my late husband at work. At first, we were only workmates in the same department and then friends before we became an item.

3 years ago, a former pupil somehow got hold of a copy of the last staff photo taken for my first school. There was no malice in what they posted on a local FB group: they uploaded the picture and then put in as many names of staff members as they could.

My entry said "Miss [Maiden Name]. She followed Mr Weary to [Name of New] School."

Well, no. My first school was closed and I was transferred by the LA/council to the replacement school. Ditto the workmate who later became my husband."

We got engaged after working at the new school for a few years and DH informed our HT.

I was a bit peeved at the idea of my "following" a colleague to another school - sounds a bit stalkerish - but I reckoned that trying to correct the mistake online would just prolong the agony, so ignored it.

[Side note. DH's first wife worked in another school and had an affair with a colleague. It was an open secret at the other school, apparently. DH was the last to know. She confessed after sharing a room with the other bloke on a team building trip.]

ETA My point is that folk often get these stories wrong.

None of your business whatsoever.

Anyone else imagine the Op would be the type of person at the front of the crowd throwing rotten fruit at the woman being burned at the stake for supposedly being a witch?

I would forget you know anything about it op. Nothing good would come from interfering. They will likely get found out anyway, but it needn’t come from you.

Try to have a moral code that I don’t blow peoples lives up unless absolutely necessary. So I would do nothing.

Seen by who are you sure they wasnt at a work course. Either way its none of your business lots of people have affairs.

Is he fucking the rest of the team - if so then that would cause disrespect and resentment. If not then it is down to them.

I've never taken an interest in who my manager is screwing.

That's quite a stretch, someone being concerned that a HT is in a position of trust and power yet is chasing junior staff.
Not very professional is it?
Not sure how your very unpleasant 'being burned at the stake' analogy is relevant or appropriate .

This has absolutely nothing to do with you. Butt out.

Mind your own business

He's not really abusing his position op, she's his deputy not a fresh of of Uni ECT he's taking advantage of. Starting an affair with a parent of one of his students would be highly unprofessional. A colleague not really....even if they are both married. Stay well out of it, it's their personal business.

So school gate gossip then.

I guarantee the op would be at the front of the crowd

No doubt reported the woman for being a witch

Probably my old primary school ... everyone knew and it's probably the only reason the teacher kept their job as they had become a problem for a variety of reasons.

We have one. Basic stuff like not bringing the school into disrepute etc. I think most schools do.

You sound like a Policeman gathering evidence...gee whiz

I would stay completely out of it and don't gossip about it either. Not your business.

But we don’t know who is doing the appraisals…he could have recused himself.

Why did the TA not get fired as well?

An affair? You absolutely certain even thought it's third hand information?

Alternative explanations include attending a conference, training, planning, visiting another school or uni for professional development, or doing a recce for a school trip (very common).

Alternatively, it's a scandalous affair. Except it's only scandalous if you act on your non-existent evidence.

Nothing to see here folks, except a Hyacinth Bucket wannabe.

But it's nothing to do with the OP. Does it affect her child? Unlikely.

You don't know that this is 100% accurate and reliable. Say you report this. Imagine someone hangs themselves over it. This happened at my school back in the 80's. How do you feel now about reporting it if you are wrong?

That’s you - so who cares? See above for all the reasons it affects a body of staff.

It’s filthy and selfish (as both as married and therefore damaging their marriages and risking their spouse’s sexual health). And inappropriate given that one is the other’s boss.

But your best bet is to stay well away from this. It won’t impact your child’s education or wellbeing.