Crap friend

[PerkyOchrePeer]

I went on holiday last year and met up with a friend of a friend. I didnt really know her but was grateful that she offered to show me around. We didnt have much in common but rubed along ok. I thought she was a bit full on with her behaviour and wondered if she was gay. After the holiday, we went our seperate ways and i sent her the odd fìendly wassap message to which she replied to but in a cold polite but not that friend manner. The last couple of messages she totally ignored so i have now deleted her from my phone and wont be messaging her again.

I was annoyed at first because i have made an effort to remain on friendlý terms

I agree, I know I feel sorry for the poor woman. I remember reading the OP's quite odd posts about her holiday last year and meeting up with this woman.

She was very kind to you OP, offering to drive you to various sites and you've been very judgemental since. She's only an acquaintance, not a friend, so just let this go.

I agree with others that you should consider speaking to a therapist because you seem to have difficulty understanding what is normal in different types of relationships.

Until you start another thread about it.

OP you started quite a nasty thread being bitter about this woman. I don't know what your mutual friend would say about it, probably something sharp.

She is not the problem.

Op you sound intense and just odd. I think she picked up on that. She sounds really nice to have gone out of her way with nothing to gain by doing it.

I am intense. Another holiday friend has become distant. We got on very well on holiday abd now I'm back I did her a favour and she was very grateful. Now she is blanking me. All I did was message her and say how are you etc and it got read and I got no response and she's been online several times since. I feel upset about it because I thought we got on well. I'm the sort of person that likes reassurance that people are genuine

You're not a genuine person- you have used people badly and been very rude and ungrateful.

I've only got 3 close friends that I've never had a problem with. I supposed it's better than nothing and I should be thankful these don't ignore me. I think long distance friends eventually fade due to distance and not physically able to meet up to share common interests.it takes an awful lot of effort to maintain a close friendship on social media

I will always reply to a message I receive. I never blank or ghost someone unless I've sent messages to someone and they don't reply

OP you said you were leaving this thread on the 11th.
Your need for attention is probably what causes your friendship issues.
Let this one go now.

But there you go again. You’re blaming a bereaved person for not behaving the way you think they should have. She was ‘pretending to be ok’ out of politeness, and probably making an enormous effort. You barely know one another. She was hardly going to be weeping on the shoulder of a virtual stranger who was on holiday and supposed to be having a good time! She was trying to ensure you did have a good time. And yet that wasn’t enough for you. You’ve started a thread on the internet a year later to complain about her.

Do you struggle with theory of mind, OP?

Yes you are right. However I have one friend who doesn't care how much attention I seek. If I send her a lot of messages, she responds to every one and never ignores any

Were they a friend or an acquaintance you met on holiday? They are different things.

Yes OK.

Every friendship starts as an acquaintance and if effort is not made then the relationship will never get past the acquaintance stage. This was obviously an acquaintance which I saw the potential to grow into a friendship. For instance I added this acquaintance as a friend on my Facebook. She gas ot accepted it. I have si.ilarly had others send me facebook friend requests a d I think why gave they done that we are not friends

You saw potential for a friendship, they didn't. That doesn't make them "crap" or mean they aren't genuine.

I'm confused, why did you think it had friendship potential?

You had little in common and didn't like each other.

She was being nice. Some people are just very nice - she clearly was a lovely person as she gave compliments, and kindly showed you around her town.

You probably acted intensely and were rude and that's why she is not replying to you now.

You need to be a less intense, kinder person if you want to have friends.

Best line ever!

You are getting confused. The person I said I thought had potential to become a friend is not the same person that I originally mention in this thread who was bereaved. The person I thought I could become friends with I have more in common with

Aren't you the same poster who had another friend recently block you?

You have issues.

In fact the person I wanted to be friends with I've known for a few years but we lost touch as she moved away. After a few years we net up again a d we discovered we had same interests and so I saw potential for friendship. I therefore sent a fb friends request which wasn't a opted so I just continued to message. A couple of my messages were answered but then my latest was not and she's been online several times. I've been nothing but kind and nice to her and did her a favour and her reaction to that was I am a very thoughtful person so I thought if she thought that of me wr could be good friends

If someone doesn't want to be friends with you, it doesn't make them a bad person. It doesn't matter what things you've done, you can't bribe people to like you.

In fact, a pattern of people who don't want to be friends with you and block you points to there being something amiss with how you are with them.

You seem to really struggle with understanding that some people may simply not want to be your friend. You may have lots in common and they may pay you all sorts of compliments, but they don't want to be your friend. It doesn't make them a bad person.

People don’t owe you friendship just because you sent them messages.

If she fancies you and its not reciprocal I can see why she would cut contact.