Late evening eating

[Blankscreen]

I need some perspective as I m not sure if I am being grumpy.

Dss 21 lives at home full time. He has a job and goes to work 9-5 as do DH and I.

Dss is obsessed with the gym and bulking.
He finishes work, drives past his gym to come home to eat before he can work out. He eats 4 poached eggs on toast.

Even if I am in the process of cooking dinner he can't wait. He eats his eggs and goes to the gym and wants dinner kept for when he get home.

He gets in about 10:30 and he starts reheating his dinner and making more eggs and porridge. .
This is every weeknight.

At the weekend he goes to the gym slightly earlier.

Last night he appeared as dinner was being dished up at 7:30. By the time we had eaten an cleared up it was 8:15. Kitchen was done, floor swept, worktops polished

At about 10:10 he appeared to start the great big cook up of eggs and porridge etc I snapped and said I was sick of it and enough is enough. He needs to have a protein shake. To which I was told it's not enough calories.. DH tried to intervene and placate and said that as long as he clears up it's ok.

Thing is he never clears up properly. I also don't want the constant noise and mess of cooking and clearing up going in whilst I want to relax.
This morning his dirty plate is left in the sink.

AIBU to say no more cooking late at night? He can reheat his dinner but the rest needs to stop.
The other week I got woken up at 2:15am and he was making eggs as he's been out

I was the same. As an adult living in my late mum's home, my wishes were subordinate to hers and the way she wanted her house to be run. So there would have been no cooking late at night, no late night noise that could have woken her up or coming in at all hours. And she's probably have performed an anatomical impossibility on me with the frying pan if I'd tried to scarf 9 fucking eggs a day.

Her house, her rules. God, I miss her.

@CantThinkOfAUsername57

a little bit… your internalised misogyny fascinates me

Tell him to make himself some boiled eggs then he can eat them as and when.

Hi,
On mumsnet, you’re free to tag people on threads. You’re also free to not respond.

Good idea!

“He has 12 eggs and 9 slices of bread a day, plus lunch, plus porridge, plus dinner plus mountains of fruit, yogurt snack etc”

…… and he pays £150 a month…!!!!!!

This is ridiculous. Have you actually worked out how much the extra food he is consuming is costing…How much is a dozen eggs these days - presumably he also eats lots of meat?

You need to be reasonable - triple what he pays [minimum] and get a cleaner.

It sounds like he does clean up, just not to her standards.

He doesnt clean his plate and leaves bits of egg around

How is that cleaning up?

That is very definitely not cleaning up. At all.

I can absolutely empathise with you OP - in your place I would feel exactly the same.

It would do my head in. The smell of eggs. 🤮

He’s paying peanuts, What would a reasonable flat share locally cost? And he’d have food and bills on top!

I had a lodger once who worked shifts. She cooked the most outrageously smelly foods in the small hours, the smell woke me all the time. But it wasn’t reasonable for me to dictate what she could eat and when, she paid rent and it was her home

But that’s not ‘normal’. He is disordered about eating as you are about tidying the kitchen. I hate the smell
of eggs but I think you would annoy me more going on and on because someone is cooking and ‘ruining’ the kitchen.

YABU

And did she only pay you £150pm and you provided the food she was cooking?

Massive overreaction about some eggs.

He needs to properly clean up after himself, including actually washing up his plates if the dishwasher is already on. You’re not being unreasonable, and having a penis doesn’t mean you can’t clean a bloody sink properly. I would find this enraging too.

He does clean up. The amount he pays is between him and his dad. He lives at home with his dad. His dad determines how much rent is payable by his own son.

His eating isn't "disordered" - he's on a high-protein diet alongside gym training to build muscle mass.

I know, this place is mental.

Full of women moaning about their lazy arse husbands, but the minute anyone admits to raising their son not to be a lazy arse, you get grief.

My 20 year old has just come back from his first lads holiday. They rented a lovely house and my lad proper made me laugh tonight. He hated the mess his friends left and was astounded at one of them thinking you can clean a greasy frying pan with cold water.

I always say that I am raising a man, not a wimp and I will not hand over a useless man to his future wife. I’m not going to add to more women on Mumsnet who have shit, useless husbands.

My eldest has gone through my body is a temple phases since his teens. He's 45 now., it comes and goes.

@Blankscreen suggest you discuss with husband taking £400 pcm off him. Put £250 in a savings account in case he isn't a millionaire in 12 months and is stony broke. Or he moves out.

Hard boiled eggs in the fridge make less mess and are a fast boost.

You’re right!

Havent you read OPs posts, he doesnt clean up.

He should be paying a lot more and cleaning up after himself - or move out!

Simple solution: boiled eggs and overnight oats.