Late evening eating

[Blankscreen]

I need some perspective as I m not sure if I am being grumpy.

Dss 21 lives at home full time. He has a job and goes to work 9-5 as do DH and I.

Dss is obsessed with the gym and bulking.
He finishes work, drives past his gym to come home to eat before he can work out. He eats 4 poached eggs on toast.

Even if I am in the process of cooking dinner he can't wait. He eats his eggs and goes to the gym and wants dinner kept for when he get home.

He gets in about 10:30 and he starts reheating his dinner and making more eggs and porridge. .
This is every weeknight.

At the weekend he goes to the gym slightly earlier.

Last night he appeared as dinner was being dished up at 7:30. By the time we had eaten an cleared up it was 8:15. Kitchen was done, floor swept, worktops polished

At about 10:10 he appeared to start the great big cook up of eggs and porridge etc I snapped and said I was sick of it and enough is enough. He needs to have a protein shake. To which I was told it's not enough calories.. DH tried to intervene and placate and said that as long as he clears up it's ok.

Thing is he never clears up properly. I also don't want the constant noise and mess of cooking and clearing up going in whilst I want to relax.
This morning his dirty plate is left in the sink.

AIBU to say no more cooking late at night? He can reheat his dinner but the rest needs to stop.
The other week I got woken up at 2:15am and he was making eggs as he's been out

https://uk.huel.com/products/hot-and-savoury-meal-packs?variantId=db17c932-8545-4b24-87d6-4c6bb0869016&quantity=1&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=22490484120&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=180241192553&utm_term=&BrandGeneric=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22490484120&gbraid=0AAAAADelta0s094eSCR-r0m8e8M1d0mRv&gclid=CjwKCAjw4K3DBhBqEiwAYtG_9AiV7jXQinnrqGpDglCOaZSKbzknHZHIr4b3snAZhn2eChgU2LUi9xoCkpcQAvD_BwE

one of these and a protein shake a night would do him

@Biginnin em don’t you think your over reacting a bit there just a Bit? He left a PLATE in the sink not commit mass murder

Agreed but according to a poster above, this is 'a disorder'!!!

My god, when did looking after your living environment and wanting basic hygiene in the house become 'a disorder'. Its just basic standards, wipe the fucking worktops down!!!

Does that even cover the costs of the eggs?

The fucking chickens are gonna go on strike. 🐔🐔🐔

OP I’m with you this sounds absolutely awful. I couldn’t live like this

So instead of (god forbid) leaving a speck of mess in the kitchen or allegedly interrupting OP’s peace by cooking in his own home he should fuel himself with UPF crap? Sounds delightful!

@Blankscreen you are not being unreasonable, I’d hate this too.

I hate smelling food being cooked when I’m in bed so this would totally do my head in.

It’s good he’s into his fitness but the egg antics would drive anyone mad xx

I am so glad i live alone :-)

Yes. Or he can move out and mess up his own kitchen, of course.

😮

I hope the Andrew tates a joke.

I would be upping this ‘rent’ MAJORLY! As in £1500 potentially.

He’s on 30k+. He’s not paying for food. Has a cleaner, a cook and a gambling problem. Offer the saved rent back as a house deposit.

Goodluck

But he DOESN'T "pay his way"!

I know right. Animal welfare standards would be far better without fools like this mindlessly mainlining eggs 24/7

YANBU in the sense that it’s extremely frustrating to have the kitchen all cleaned up and ready to go for a new day, only for someone to come along and mess it up. YABU about wanting it showroom standard though, you should probably relax a little on that front.

My DD is the same, she is eats a lot at all sorts of hours (I don’t even know where that food goes because she’s tiny but she eats like a teenaged boy) but worse than that… she slams everything. My poor microwave has been through it.

I don’t have any suggestions as everything I say/ask/request lasts 0.01 days, I just want to commiserate.

@CantThinkOfAUsername57

he can clean up after himself like the grown up he is.

Sorry you’re being very unreasonable @Blankscreen. It isn’t only your home. It is his home too. What’s he meant to do, eat out when he’s hungry in case he leaves a mess and grumpy you sorts him out. He sounds like he has his head on his shoulders and as for the amount he’s paying it’s nobody’s business but his dad’s.

£150 a month must just about cover his egg bill

Why are you tagging me again? Obsessed much? 🤣

YANBU.
It seems to me you are being bullied out of your home by behaviour and standards you don’t want to live with. Your DSS is not a growing teen, he’s an adult. At 21 he’s old enough to live in his own place where he can cook at all hours of the day or night.

Your DH needs to find another way to support his son that is not completely at odds with his wife’s needs.

You're not unreasonable. It's the way it used to be (and,IMO should be) but somehow it has become 100% acceptable for parents to find themselves in a situation of house share with their grown up children who,apparently,can do whatever they want at any time of the day because they pay £150 a month!

@SallySooo

all he has to do is clean up after himself. Or do you think he should be excused from this and OP do it on account of her having a vagina?

Exactly. Two entitled men in cahoots dismissing additional work and stress for a mere woman.

Stand your ground.

This makes no sense what so ever

Why go so nuclear?

No he doesnt need to eat out, he simply needs to clean up after himself. Properly. Thats all. Not difficult. No one is asking him to chop off a limb or something so onerous. Just wipe up, wash up, clean up. Easy

And it very much is OPs business how much he is paying, she is presumably a joint asset holder of the property and shares her finances with her husband, his father. Its their property, his home. She and his dad get to call the shots in the home, nothing toxic about that.

Want different rules, move out
Want the pros of the arrangement? Then engage with the cons as well,this means doing his fair share of the chores around the house.

I feel sorry for your step son. It’s his house and he should be able to cook what/when he wants as long as he cleans up after himself.

i wonder whether you re that strict with your own children?