How bad is my situation - am i delusional?

[SharpOliveUser]

Hi all,

need some perspective and advice. I am 32, childless by choice but married. Me and dh own our own home.

I earn 44,000 a year (my dh similar) but i am in quite a bit of debt. My partner knows i am in debt but not the extent. To be honest i wasnt aware of the extent - ive just been feeling more and more squeezed by the minimums.

when i’ve sat down and totalled it up my personal debt (credit cards and personal loans) is just shy of 50k. I am in shock.

this has been accumulated over the last ten years of living above my means/travelling.

However, the thought of tackling it seems so daunting - life is so short and there are so many things i want to do/ places i want to travel.

i also have a horse and he costs me a significant amount - i have recently considered sending him away for training as i dont currently enjoy riding him but now i am thinking maybe i should sell? I would get about 10k for him in the current market and as i say i dont enjoy him. However being a horse owner and an equestrian is such a big part of my identity so i am dragging my feet. Realistically when will i be able to justify buying another horse and i will miss the horse world very much.

i guess i just need some perspective on how urgent/ bad my situation is and some advice on how to proceed without getting too depressed. 😔

my only savings total 500 pounds

Omg everybody likes travelling but if you can't afford it you can't go!

1. you can't afford to be a horse owner

2. you can't afford an expensive lifestyle with lots of travel.

If you dont like that, you need to try to earn a bigger income.

Borrowing it only makes it worse as a huge chunk of what you are paying is interest. You are borrowing from your own future self and fucking her over royally.

You don’t say

Agree you've done the right thing for you both in putting him on sales livery, as heart breaking as it is. It would have cost a fortune in both yours and his training to get to a place where you started to enjoy him, and he deserves a home that can meet his exercise needs, which he won't be getting if he's too much for you.

Focus on your finances, keep your hand in riding/sharing elsewhere and maybe ownership of something better matched will be possible when you're back on your feet. Lovely that your dh is supportive, he sounds a good egg