AIBU to be disappointed about this?

[mrsm43s]

Later this week, on my birthday, we're doing a long train journey to visit friends for a few days. Whenever we do these long journeys, we always book them over lunchtime, and do a "train picnic" of nice food e.g afternoon tea style and share some prosecco or anti pasta style and share some red. It means that our trip starts when we get in the train, and the journey flies by.

DH booked the train tickets, and he just accepted the default seating rather than selecting seats, and as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.

We've tried to change seats now, but as it's a couple of days away, there's no availability of seats at a table, and no availability in first class either.

I feel like instead of my birthday starting at 11.30am once we're on the train, it's not going to start until 3pm when we arrive, and the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be spoilt, and I get that I'm going to have a lovely time with my friends, but I'm really grumpy and disappointed. I think it's mostly because DH has form for this kind of stuff, always taking the quick, easy way, and never checking anything.

AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

But you just don’t see it do you? You asked if you were being unreasonable to be pissed off. It’s just that lots of us think you are.

The first reply on a thread usually nails it.

YABU, nothing worse than being stuck next to the couple at the table having a picnic.

Yet you won’t accept that many people think you are! You state It's perfectly reasonable for woman to a) be pissed off about it and b) hold him to account for it.

Why did you even ask then? Many pps said YABU, two seats is absolutely fine because the picnic on a table for four will make some people uncomfortable (admittedly not all).

It was you who brought up the fact that the food wasn’t smelly and pps chose to refute that.

It was you who listed a long list of foods which physically cannot be laid out all at once on one side of a table (yet you do not rustle).

You have simply ignored every point made that you did not like. You took ages to respond to those who did not understand what on earth you meant by the middle seat. You say that pull down tables have things sliding around but apparently this does not happen on a table for four. You state you cannot understand how your picnic on a table for four will bother, or impact on anyone else, yet when told how it will, you remind us it is your right to have your picnic. You remind us it is your birthday. It’s all incredibly juvenile.

You have been told why YABU and many PPs have expressed sympathy for your DH but you still keep banging your drum. So it seems likely you will get your unreserved table in coach C but just be mindful that the people who may be forced to share the table, if there is no where else to sit, may well not enjoy it too. Can you at least accept that?

@hellosunshineminesagin "You asked if you were being unreasonable to be pissed off. It’s just that lots of us think you are. The first reply on a thread usually nails it. YABU, nothing worse than being stuck next to the couple at the table having a picnic."
How does this first post "nail it"? OP asked if she was unreasonable to be upset that her DH mucked up a simple arrangement for her birthday. The first post (and many more like it) doesn't nail it - it doesn't even answer the damn question! It was just the first of many precious people having a personal gripe about "being stuck next to the couple at the table having a picnic." I find it astonishing that so many people on here struggle with reading comprehension.
(And FWIW, it wouldn't bother me one iota if OP and her DH had a picnic on the train table I was sharing with them - but then I'm not a precious, pearl-clutching ninny!)

maybe if OP forces people to share in the C carriage, she could offer them her seats in the other carriage…. Result!

Or if they really don’t want to be “forced” to share with anyone, they could book their seats and not share a table.

But maybe the lax DH in the group messed that up….

But literally everyone who is saying I'm unreasonable is either basing that opinion on their own preferences (not relevant), on utter nonsense (like you shouldn't eat at the dining table of a train serving food), on stuff that's not true (e.g impossible to eat without taking over a whole table or elbowing people), assumptions that are incorrect (e.g I'm getting drunk, chomping, slurping and burping), or just personal insults designed to hurt like that I'm bossy, bullying or that my husband is embarrassed and secretly rebelling etc.

Honestly, it's really clear on this thread the dysfuntional people with low emotional intelligence and the nasty ones who just want to be unkind, who can't stick to the facts as given and who insist on making shit up to fit their own spiteful agenda. And twisting themselves in knots and accusing me of lying when I'm calmly and politely repeating the same actual facts over and over again in response to the ever more bizarre factually incorrect or irrelevant attacks.

My question was, "Am I unreasonable to be disappointed that my husband was careless and therefore mucked up a booking for part of my birthday trip, so that it is less good than we had agreed on?"

It wasn't about whether it was OK to eat on a train, what I'm allowed to eat on the train, a critique of my assumed table manners, whether it's ok to drink wine on a train or whether pull down trays are the same as tables etc.

The only good thing about all those ridiculous accusations is that I now know I can take a Shetland pony in a basket with me...

But The OP said as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.…
…the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.….
…AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

Fair point, perhaps I was being glib when said that first post nailed it. But were they BU to be pissed off? Many thought so. There was no middle seat, there was no cause to be forced to only drink water. Or even only eat a sandwich. In fact there were two pull down tables and a bit of privacy to boot. There was no squeezing in next to a stranger. The birthday was not ruined, nor did the journey need just to be tolerated. Perhaps that first post could have included all of these things too to make it more clear as to why the OP was BU for being so pissed off with DH. But it wouldn’t have been quite as succinct!

However it seems the OP is absolutely rigid and cannot understand anyone else’s point of view.

Thank you that's good to know. Obviously we'll try to get a table seats if there's an unreserved pair available, but it's reassuring to know there's enough room on the trays.

None of that is relevant really, as I've repeatedly said that our preference for our journey was table seats, we'd be more comfortable in them and that is what we had discussed and agreed to book. This is a fact, and not up for debate.

Absolutely fine for some else to have their own, different preferences. But they are not really relevant to our preferences for our journey.

We enjoy having a table picnic contained within our half of the table on long journeys. And we enjoy accompanying that with up to a bottle of wine between us. Again, this is a fact and not up for debate.

That this is not someone else's preference isn't relevant, because it's our journey, not theirs. They can choose their seats, their food, and their drinks on their journey.

Because of my husband's carelessness, our journey is factually less prefeable to us than it should have been. That is what is disappointing, since it was caused by completely avoidable carelessness on my DHs part.

@mrsm43s I'm wondering.....
does the Shetland pony in a basket require a ticket or does it count as luggage 🤔

And does it chomp……

only on carrots🥕

Sticks I presume, with a hummus dip…. M&S picnic style….

I'm not sure if my posts would be characterised as dysfunctional or trying to be unkind, but it's a forum where we're asked for honest opinions and my honest opinion is that it just sounds so exceptionally silly to be upset by something like this, and talking about missing out on part of your birthday, and then have the time and inclination to post many times defending your exact picnic requirements.

It's not nasty or horrible but it's so childishly silly that it's almost endearing. Like a slightly daft side character in a Dickens or Jane Austen novel. And the long list of picnic items just pushed me over the edge. Sorry OP. I do hope you enjoy your birthday though.

Neigh 😉

And do we think you are being unreasonable to be that pissed off? Turns out many of us do!

(Although admittedly, some of us do not and would like to join you for your picnic)

@Morgenrot25 in the first three pages you went on about food noise and smells, and called the OPs food pretentious for good measure. Others elaborated on your theme, specifically mentioning chomping, belching, slurping, rustling, fidgeting, elbowing, reaching. I'm not making it up.

This is a truly awesome thread - I knew it was going to be good when one of the first respondents got her knickers in a knot about picnics rustling... next time I go on a train i'm definitely taking prosecco and charcuterie, maybe even something that rustles!

Whilst my nostrils wouldn't be offended by your food, I'd find it weird if someone pulled out all that food on a shared table on a train 😅 they are small tables and it's mad that you want this food on a train 🤣

There is a regular poster on here who talks about how she lets her small dog sit on the train table as he likes the view. Apparently it’s fine as she uses a wipe afterwards.🤷🏼‍♀️

Can you stop tagging me just to tell me you don't agree with me, it's incredibly tiresome.

I concur!! Total turnaround! Very odd.

You told me I was making up what you'd said. I was merely defending my point. There's no need to continue with the thread if you've had enough but I'm at the start of an 8 week summer break and enjoying myself immensely. 😁. HTH.

@mrsm43s Ooh, I don't know how to break this to you OP, but you can't take a Shetland pony in a basket on a train because, as I'm sure you know, the basket (or carrier) must be no bigger than 80x60x60cm (or 34"x24"x24") and even a miniature Shetland pony would exceed these dimension. Sorry. 😉😂

No Shetland ponies allowed on trains at all I'm afraid - they exceed the maximum basket (or carrier) dimensions. 😂

😭😭😭

Far too stinky and rustly.