AIBU to be disappointed about this?

[mrsm43s]

Later this week, on my birthday, we're doing a long train journey to visit friends for a few days. Whenever we do these long journeys, we always book them over lunchtime, and do a "train picnic" of nice food e.g afternoon tea style and share some prosecco or anti pasta style and share some red. It means that our trip starts when we get in the train, and the journey flies by.

DH booked the train tickets, and he just accepted the default seating rather than selecting seats, and as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.

We've tried to change seats now, but as it's a couple of days away, there's no availability of seats at a table, and no availability in first class either.

I feel like instead of my birthday starting at 11.30am once we're on the train, it's not going to start until 3pm when we arrive, and the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be spoilt, and I get that I'm going to have a lovely time with my friends, but I'm really grumpy and disappointed. I think it's mostly because DH has form for this kind of stuff, always taking the quick, easy way, and never checking anything.

AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

Sounds a bit drama llama. Surely you can take exactly the same food, but just not spread it out all over the table.

No, it isn't, but most folk don't have elaborate picnics.

Why?
People need to eat.
Some train companies even sell food on board. To eat. On the train 😂

I think a small snack/drink is fine on a longer journey, but elaborate picnics are OTT IMHO.

YABU that your birthday celebration start a few hours later. YANBU that he didn’t make the effort, I’d be taking my headphones and downloading a film or podcast. He obviously doesn’t hold value in these little gestures like you do.

With respect, if someone can't cope with normal sounds and smells of people eating normal foods, they probably shouldn't book a lunchtime train.

It just sounds like a load of bits bought from the M+S shop that is probably at the station.
Most big stations have them.

YABU. Make the most of the situation and all will be well.

What if you did something a bit different from your usual picnic, which does sound like it would need major table space, but still planned something nice.

Something like the little finger sandwiches, scone and cream and jam might be doable if you have tray tables on the backs of the seats in front.

Or go out for brunch near the station and take a bottle of prosecco and a box of chocolates for the train?

Or do a sandwich lunch but a really nice one - whatever your absolute favourite sandwich or wrap is, made with really good bread etc, and maybe a patisserie type cake?

Just put your picnic into two lunch boxes and enjoy in your respective seats.

this is such a non issue particularly as you can most likely get a table to sit at anyway!

With respect, if someone can't cope with travelling unless they have a massive table picnic, then perhaps they should make alternative travel arrangements.

Are people this rigid about meal times? If I booked a train from say 11.30am- 3pm I’d probably just have a big breakfast/brunch before I left then eat again at my destination. I’m not a huge fan of eating while moving!

100% you're right, I need to frame it better. Sulking about it will be me ruining my own birthday.

I'm just grumpy because DH has a history of being slapdash or not doing things properly, usually to my detriment. I mean, how hard would it have been to have booked table seats, as I've always done? Literally one or two clicks in the booking process.

A lot of pretentious bits, spread all over the table.

Yeah, exactly that!

Well the OP and her husband can just spread it out over their individual pull down seat trays.
Pretty much the same amount of space in total as half a communal table really.

Your picnic lunch sounds lovely.

Maybe it depends on the trains you travel on. If you travel from here to London, 90% of travellers will be eating breakfast/lunch or snacks. Totally normal behaviour.

I’d be frustrated with dh but make the most of it and make some scones and picky bits that can be in a lunch bag on my lap and a can of cocktail or wine poured into a picnic glass. Often the chairs have drop down tables on longer journey trains.

For medical reasons, I have to eat at regular intervals.

So we can’t say nice food without it being “pretentious”? Mn is so weird.

OP this means a lot to you so I would do the seat bid thing and get into first class, sitting on your own but comfortably will be better than trying to eat on normal train seats together.

That‘s fine, it just looked like you were saying that obviously everyone on the train would be eating because it was ‘lunch time’, as though we all eat the same meals at exactly the same times.

OP, like others, I'm confused about the seats your DH booked - if it's a train that has large tables with 4 seats around it, how are you booked into a middle and aisle seat? Only commuter trains have 3 seats abreast, and those trains don't have large tables, and their seats aren't generally reserveable. Surely you just have 2 airline style seats next to each other? The window seat and the aisle seat?

You can call it whatever you like, as can I. ✌️

That’s an awful lot to spread out on a table you’d be sharing with two other people, I’d be annoyed if I was sat next to you tbh. Sandwich and a drink is standard, but a full on picnic??? The whole table would be full, not to mention all the opening stuff up, passing it back and forth, crumbs, potential oily spillages etc. I think you should book a full table and four seats if you’re doing this. What if one of the people at the table wants to work on their laptop?