Adult children didn’t come down to meet their cousins baby

[AdEmRoJaAn]

Hi all, I have 5 children, DS are 25 and 22, DDs are 24, 19 and 17.

This weekend all 5 of them are staying at home as Friday night was my husbands birthday party.

Today my niece brought her 5 day old baby girl to come and meet us. My youngest 3 came downstairs and chatted, held baby etc. but my eldest 2 didn’t. DD is going through a break up and claims she was too tired as she didn’t really sleep last night and she doesn’t really like holding babies. DS said he just doesn’t get the hype but apologised. They were here for 3 hours so hardly like they didn’t have plenty of time to pop in.

AIBU to be absolutely raging that they were so bloody rude?

She will find in life she will have to. Many times. She’s an adult, not 7

Right, so she could have down, explained she was upset, said a quick hello and gone back upstairs then. Not hid away like a child.

Ye for your RIDICULOUS responses

She wasn't hiding. You have no empathy. Suck it up is telling people to suppress their emotions

Thank you and goodbye

Who said anything about fawning?

You really are very dramatic 🙄

.

Your lack of empathy shows more with every post.

Oh well. I don't really care what a total stranger on the internet thinks of me.

I'm from a very close family, and we'd have all been thrilled to meet a cousin's 5 day old baby. I'd also be cross if my kids didn't come downstairs, as it's so different to the relationship I have with my cousins. Family is super important to me, and I'd be upset they didn't want to share in the joy of a much loved niece's baby.

Yanbu

Exactly this.
It's astounding the extent to which some posters think that they should be pandered to and should never ever have to do anything they don't want to, even for 5 minutes.
How they function in the workplace and normal world is beyond me.

Adults are allowed to express emotion too

But if they don’t live there they are technically guests they are visiting. They came to visit dad for his birthday and basically stayed at parents because there was room rather than needing a hotel.

I still think it’s far ruder to expect her DD with everything she’s going though as well as any feelings over her abortion to paint on a happy smiley face to save face for the ops feelings.

I don’t get any of your response. No-one was asking DD to “go out”, she just had to come out of her bedroom. No-one was asking them to “entertain”, it wasn’t OP’s “guest” it’s THEIR COUSIN. And if the cousin didn’t want her baby to be introduced to people why would she have brought it round to meet them?

I think it’s beyond unfriendly of them to stay in their rooms and ignore her at such a special time and if I was OP I’d have been up to their rooms saying “get your arse downstairs to congratulate your cousin on her baby”.

It’s a special time for her but a terrible one for the daughter. Why does the cousin take precedence?

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The baby is irrelevant. They had guests and stayed in their rooms avoiding them for 3 hours. That is blood rude regardless of who the guest is.

Though to be honest OP, I wouldn’t be raging now. I would have gone upstairs and told them they needed to come down and feign politeness for 30 minutes.

How is fake politeness any better?

Yes I'd say it was rude. Mine are the same but I make them come down for 5 minutes to say hello, nice to see you etc, then they can return to their pits.

Because it is rude for one set of guests (the adult children) to hide from another set for three hours?

I thought I'd feel this way eventually, but I'm 26 and still don't like babies. I'm not maternal either which I am surprised about!

It’s also rude to force extra guests on your guests without prior arrangement and agreement.

It’s rude to make a very upset crying person do what you want them to do for the sake of appearances. Rude and callous.

Adults should know that sometimes, even quite often, you have to moderate your emotions.
Do you cry in front of your children? Do you cry in front of your colleagues or boss?
Do you punch people if they really annoy you? Do you sulk if you have to take your children somewhere you don't really like but they love? Etc etc

Of course fake politeness is much better than actual rudeness.

Would you rather somebody in a shop wished you a nice day despite not really meaning it, or shouted “fuck off you old trout!” at you as you left?

Suppressing them sometimes does not mean it must be on demand when you are struggling the most. We are not robots. There are times when nobody has an off switch. See Rachel Reeves. Do you think cousin would have appreciated that when trying to exhaustedly show off her new baby?

Who said anything about never ever doing anything you don’t want to? There’s quite a wide range between the positions of never doing something, and always doing something.

She didn’t do it on this occasion, which doesn’t mean it’s something she’s entirely incapable of.

I pretty much guarantee that if they did that and the cousin posted on here AIBU to be miffed that I took my newborn round to my aunt's house and my cousin's stayed for five minutes, said congratulations and disappeared? Then they'd be flooded with YANBU replies about how dreadful they (the vanishing cousins) sound and advised to go NC.