to not understand Christians who have sex/live together before marriage then marry in church?

[onlytwo]

Posting here because I am genuinely confused and not trying to offend anyone.

I keep seeing couples who describe themselves as Christians who have been living together for years, sometimes with kids, then they get married in church with all the religious vows etc. I thought one of the key Christian teachings is no sex before marriage yet it seems really common that people ignore that part but still have a big church wedding.

AIBU to think it is hypocritical?

Yes they did and they admitted that

So why bring Islam into it. You straightaway jumped to ‘Islam forbids sex before marriage why do many Muslim have premarital sex? It’s seen as a major sin, but it still happens.’

No, I said I quoted @PlumLemur and @L0bstersLass who used the words.

It’s hard to take you seriously when you keep lying about me.

You still haven’t called out those two posters for swearing, I wonder why that is … 🤔

As the main 2 rules are love god and love thy neighbour I think we are just obeying the Lord

seriously, the sex before marriage bit was Victorian interpretation not from the bible, ditto lots of other doctrine, plus it’s more of a Catholic tradition. Marriage as we know it from a legal perspective didn’t exist until relatively recently, certainly not in biblical times, it was more of a blessing than anything else and certainly not something poorer people did, the contract side was all about property! I do the administration for church weddings and very few couples are resident at separate addresses.

I haven't read through all this thread but you are correct OP. Fornication or sex before marriage is forbidden in the bible. So yes getting married in a church is hypocritical but church's don't care. They've changed the standards set out in the Bible to fit in with modern life and that's why society has all the problems it does. Broken families, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, STIs, mental heath issues etc etc. But people just don't care anymore about God or the Bible and want to live their lives how they want.

the sex before marriage bit was Victorian interpretation not from the bible

It is in the Bible.

Not all Christian’s follow the old fashioned rules. If that’s the case, none of us would eat shellfish.

i would like to marry in a church and I lost my virginity already.

I got married 15 years ago but I am glad that the standpoint on sin 🤣 had been relaxed and I was able to.

Well you’re lying. I’ve just looked back at what you said to Lobsteelass and they never swore in the their two posts. It was YOU who swore. Have a look if you don’t believe me. We can all see what you’ve said from the thread.

I kind of thought that but didn’t actually know that they were able to be freely gay. That’s a good thing

Well exactly, otherwise churches would be empty.

Also everyone takes the scripture and trys to bend it to suit modern times. Eg Victorian interpretation, this isn’t exactly what they mean, marriage is a man made construct. Just ways to remain Christian but fit into modern times.

Isn't marriage more a legal and societal construct now though? If a couple live together and are committed to each other and monogamous,are they not 'married' in the eyes of 'God'? I don't adhere to any organised religion, but I do try to be a good person, and not judge others, especially if it isn't affecting anyone else. In my mind that's enough. I suppose I'm more spiritual', as opposed to religious. I do believe that souls exist in some form after the human body dies. My husband died suddenly in October, very shortly followed by our dog, and I really believe we'll be together again when my time is up, and that I will also see my dad and other loved ones who have passed on. Call me nuts but that's my belief. I do also think that everyone's religious or spiritual beliefs should be respected.

Because someone mentioned Muslims. Why do you think I bought it up?

Hypocritical yes but if you also want Christian’s to go around killing people for working on Sundays, you can sell your daughter as a sex slave (Exodus 21:1-11), child abuse (Judges 11:29-40 & Isaiah 13:16), and bashing babies against rocks (Hosea 13:16 & Psalms 137:9). The point being no one follows this literally in modern day society and you don’t find that just as hypocritical? It IS in the bible after all! Should those that don’t do that be condemned as well? Or are they allowed to judge for themself? Free thought and all?!

So do you live like someone who was born 2000 years ago? Or have you moved with the times?

You swore first and blaming the other posters because you’ve been called out and found out. Take responsibility.

I also agree that it has to be bent to suit modern society. Lots of people can’t go to church on Sundays because they work is just one example.

I understand what you’re saying, and it’s true that not all Christians follow every traditional rule. But I think there’s a difference between Old Testament ceremonial laws, like not eating shellfish (which many Christians believe were specific to ancient Israel and don’t apply to Christians today), and moral teachings in the New Testament, like those about sexual behaviour which many churches still teach as relevant.

Of course I don’t live exactly like someone from 2000 years ago, and I don’t think anyone does. But I think there’s a difference between cultural practices that naturally change over time, like clothing or technology, and moral or ethical teachings that many believe are meant to be timeless.

My question is really about how people decide which parts of their faith’s teachings are still relevant and which they feel can be adapted or set aside. How do we know if we’re staying true to core beliefs or just changing things to suit what’s easier or more popular today?

They can’t have sex. But I think many people are getting confused as you can be married and have a wife and still be vicar, which is only allowed in COE unlike the RC church.

OP I really get what you are saying.

The scripture is the scripture no matter how many years have passed. The choice if it contradicts with modern life should be to not be a Christian but because churches are businesses and need to survive and because humans need the security of salvation the scripture has been made relevant to fit in with modern times and so it is that now homosexuality, sex before marriage etc are now condoned.

What about the vicars that are allowed to get married and have wives and children? Roman Catholic priests have to remain celibate so surely you can understand that people will interpret the bible differently?

Why are you lying hen it’s in black and white? See attached, helpfully highlighted in red for you. @L0bstersLass swore, I quoted her.

Seriously, what are you getting out of lying? I’ve posted a screenshot and you’re still lying.

But they didn’t swear to you did they? The conversation between the two of you did not contain any vulgar words until YOU quoted them from a different post. You don’t need to use that language if someone else chooses to do so.