to not understand Christians who have sex/live together before marriage then marry in church?

[onlytwo]

Posting here because I am genuinely confused and not trying to offend anyone.

I keep seeing couples who describe themselves as Christians who have been living together for years, sometimes with kids, then they get married in church with all the religious vows etc. I thought one of the key Christian teachings is no sex before marriage yet it seems really common that people ignore that part but still have a big church wedding.

AIBU to think it is hypocritical?

I didn’t say she was wondering or understanding. I said she’s pointing out the difference between teaching and practise. That’s not being sneery or unpleasant.

For those who may be genuinely interested:

'Holy matrimony' takes place the moment a man and woman, who are disciples of Christ Jesus, 'cleave' together as one flesh. Even before the Spice Girls, two become one. God knows our hearts and intentions.

Cleave: to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly

Over time, humans have created a construct to fit in with our cultures and laws, and we call it a wedding, a marriage, a 'ball and chain' or whatever. For disciples of Christ Jesus, we generally like to fit in and to make our public holy promises to each other to 'forsake ALL others' and stay together for life, within a church setting and before our LORD.

As I said in my previous post, God does not need a bit of paper to know that a Christian couple are within 'holy matrimony'.

To @onlytwo HTH.

www.gotquestions.org/leave-and-cleave.html

That link says ‘Leaving and cleaving is God’s plan for those who marry.’

A lot ignorance on this thread. Christianity, like many religions have different sub groups. Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Protestant, Progressive Christians for example. So each group will have their own teachings about sex before marriage. All sub groups have their own way in how they follow Christianity. For example, some groups do not accept gay people, others do. So there you go.

I am more interested in why you believe this, rather than what you believe.

You have a very certain idea of what God thinks and doesn't think, and means and doesn't mean.

Why do you think that this prescription of how to live your life is correct? Says who?

Are you a Christian @onlytwo?

Surely this is obviously. I noticed a lot of people pipping up were calling people ignorant on a thread, for having an opinion of Zakat. Rather hypocritical.

You’re absolutely right that Christianity isn’t a single, monolithic belief system, and different denominations and groups have their own teachings and interpretations and that’s true on many issues, including sex before marriage,

But I think the question isn’t whether subgroups exist (of course they do) it’s whether scripture itself matters when people make moral decisions. If people or churches are teaching something that contradicts what’s in the Bible, does that mean scripture no longer holds authority, or does it mean the group is choosing to prioritise their own interpretation or modern values over traditional teachings?
I’m not saying this to judge, but to understand how Christians who believe premarital sex is fine reconcile that with scriptures that many interpret as prohibiting it.

Correct! For Disciples of Jesus, they 'marry' as soon as the two become one flesh.

Where does it say that in the Bible?

How come this is the particular subject you have a man issue with? There are loads of issues within lots of organised religions, paedophilic teachings appears in nearly all of them, why is this particular subject the issue?

And are you going to finally tell us if you’re a Christian or continue to dodge the subject?

What does that mean? Does it mean "fuck"?

Why can’t OP start a thread on this? You can start a thread on anything you like?

And why does OP have to reveal her religion to you?

Engage with what she’s saying, her faith is irrelevant?

She can start a thread about it whatever she wants and I can query any part of that thread I want to. It’s literally the point of this whole shebang.

And you’ve missed the point, I am asking her why this particular subject is getting her back up. It’s not about ‘starting a thread’. So I am engaging with her.

You’re missing the point entirely. Not all
Christians and those in these sub groups follow the teaching of scripture as fact, there’s flexibility in interpretation. Some often use the bible as symbolic value rather than rules. Lots of people are telling you what I’m telling you but you seem like you’re unwilling to accept this.

You’re not querying her points, you’re querying why she started the thread.

And you somehow think that trying to force her to tell you her religion is you catching her out in some way.

@nomas Do you know what, the Bible does not always use words that we use, but for Disciples of Christ Jesus, understanding of the essence and meaning of Scripture comes from the Holy Spirit. Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour?

🍿

So no basis in scripture then.

It’s from a book written eons ago. Times change as should a religion.

After being fostered by two sperate 'christian' families from nine to sixteen - with a interim children's home between those & a temp foster mum - and found both to be hypocritical to certain degrees.
First were christian fundamentalist lite types with some very strange traditions and beliefs. I was made to eat certain foods particularly dried fruit daily and had very basic meals. Their daughter is six years older than me and was on similar diet. But they often ate lavish meals and had takeaways. Pissed me off as I was only allowed pizza crusts for example.
Second were lovely Afro-Caribbean and mixed family who were Christian in big way and many members married but had kids with other people. Lost count of extending family members and grandkids involved. Foster father's eldest brother would preach about sin in church and meetings but had at least two/three kids born of affairs or out of wedlock back on different islands 🙄
I can't post other stuff as it's nsfw etc and can possibly identify me to close for comfort. I was never abused but a biological family member was while I was being fostered. I discovered this towards my mid teens and the two faced situation from someone in a place of some authority has been an ongoing source of anxiety in my life even coming up to eighteen/nineteen years later.

😂

No, I think it’s massively important to understand where she is coming from. And I want to understand where she is coming from because I don’t. I have made it very clear; I want to know why this is a big issue for her. Which it clearly is. I am querying her points, I am querying her main fucking point.

She started a thread, I am asking her relevant, related questions. If you don’t like that, don’t engage with me.

If Islam forbids sex before marriage why do

many Muslim have premarital sex? It’s seen as a major sin, but it still happens.

Very good question to ask what her religion is if they are genuinely asking for a sense of understanding. But I don’t think this is the case here when do many people have offered an explanation and they are unwilling to accept what people are saying. Seems a rather goady anti-Christian thread.

If the OP were to turn out be Christian then I think their version of religious interpretation is very dangerous. But I agree, it seems to be another religious fishing rod.