to not understand Christians who have sex/live together before marriage then marry in church?

[onlytwo]

Posting here because I am genuinely confused and not trying to offend anyone.

I keep seeing couples who describe themselves as Christians who have been living together for years, sometimes with kids, then they get married in church with all the religious vows etc. I thought one of the key Christian teachings is no sex before marriage yet it seems really common that people ignore that part but still have a big church wedding.

AIBU to think it is hypocritical?

What an odd thread and odd OP. Most religious people are not fundamentalist, and therefore do not follow every single tenet of faith blindly.

Certainly not members of the clergy either C of E or Catholic (other religions available)

I'm.not being funny but there are a lot of people like this from all relegious groups.
I know plenty of Christian's, hindus, muslims who have had premarital sex and kids before marriage but still call themselves christian/hindu/muslim.
People do follow certain religions and pick and choose what they want to follow all the time for their conscience. Anything that they dont want to do, they say it's for relegious reasons. Anything that they do, but goes against their relegion, they just say stop being judgemental. Its baffling for me as well but when I tried to question it, the religious people I know, get offended.
I give up

Since when did asking a genuine question means someone is “fixated.”? I was curious about what I’d observed and wanted to understand it better. If simply asking makes someone fixated, then doesn’t that apply to anyone raising questions on this forum?

I never claimed Christianity is alone in having people who interpret teachings differently or who disagree about what’s permitted. You’re absolutely right that people in all faiths, including Islam and Judaism, have debates over meaning and interpretation.

What I was trying to explore is why many Christians who seem comfortable saying premarital sex is okay within their faith, whereas in other religions, people might do things outside their teachings but don’t usually claim it’s religiously allowed.

This thread really shows that strictly religious, fundamentalist, strict Christians are so often bloody awful. Full of hate and judgement.

I am not a church goer, but I’m bloody glad that if I had to be brought up anything, it was catholic. In my experience, Catholics wear their faith with relaxed ease. Especially any priest I’ve known. There’s no intolerance, preaching or accusations of sins because of ridiculous things like sex before marriage.

I think it's more to do with fear of death.

If less people cared about dying, religion would grind to a halt.

Nobody is saying people of other religions don’t have premarital sex.

The point I was trying to make is that people from other faiths don’t usually claim their scriptures actually allow premarital sex. They might do it but they know it goes against their teachings. Whereas some Christians say that sex before marriage is perfectly fine within Christianity itself.

In other words, she’s hasn’t! It may be clear to you, but it’s far from clear to me. You’re just making inferences for which there is no evidence.

That’s utterly disingenuous and you know it, but sure.

The OP is being very sly, or so she may think. But it’s very clear.

I haven't met a single Christian who has stated that sex before marriage is permitted in the scriptures.
Its just generally accepted nowadays but that doesn't mean its specifically condoned and promoted as such.

@nomas, No. I didn't say that. I said she was poking her nose into things that are none of her business and that I found her judgment of "falling short" offensive.

Personally, I think she's weird. I'm sure she couldn't care less.

I also think your comprehension skills are lacking.
I'm sure you couldn't care less either.

😎

I used to be Christian and did think sex before marriage was wrong, after attending evangelical churches who preached a lot to teens/young adults about it
Now I'm much more bothered about people in positions of leadership in the church, who commit way worse sins and actual crimes including sexual abuse of children, and it all being hushed up and swept under the carpet. That is a much bigger problem than people being hypocrites or wanting a church wedding.

And if she isn’t, then it’s still an utterly bizarre thing about Christianity to pick upon when there are huge issues in the religion with regards to safeguarding women and children.

Smiling here. I think you'd make good friends with two other recent posters who were asking 'in all innocence' and not at all goady questions about 'religious stuff'. For reference: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5364879-to-avoid-muslim-friend?page=1 and https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5318577-to-not-understand-why-christians-think-jesus-died-for-our-sins?page=1

What a disgusting post, totally void of sense.

What I was trying to explore is why many Christians who seem comfortable saying premarital sex is okay within their faith, whereas in other religions, people might do things outside their teachings but don’t usually claim it’s religiously allowed.

BUT THEY DON'T

Give us some examples of a Christian claiming this.

When you tell her it’s fuck all to do with her then you’re saying she doesn’t have the right to give her opinions.

If you don’t get that then it’s you that has comprehension issues.

Why is she weird?

There are people on this thread saying it’s ok. Have you not read it?

In the bible, Lots daughters got him drunk and has sex with him, both giving birth to their father’s children. I hardly think many people are taking incest seriously.

When I was a teenager and before I got married the first time around, my mother used the whole 'you'll go to hell if you have sex before you're married' thing. What she was really getting at, because we were a Very Christian Household and she was Very Good Friends with the vicar's wife,was that we weren't to do anything that might upset her narrative.
I wish I had actually been and had sex before I got married, and that I'd lived with him. Because had I done a test run and realised exactly what he was like, I would have run a mile.
Going back to your original question, I think there are, or at least were, pockets of church going people who believed that sex before marriage was evil. I think it was more the way in which children being born out of wedlock were viewed, and telling your child that sex before marriage was evil/would land you in hell, was a way to avoid bringing shame on your family with an unmarried mother.
I think the church has had to move its thinking on with societal changes, either that or become obsolete. Most priests and vicars know fine well that couples might well be living together before they marry, probably have already baptised at least one of their children. Its maybe not the 'old traditional' order of things, but it's a way of ministering and showing welcome to people in their community.

They are arguing the meaning of scripture not that scripture says its OK!

The Op is coming off as ignorant. Talking about a faith they don’t understand. Can you not see that? It’s like commenting on Islam, say Zakat and judging it. Or making comments about Shiva.

Lol, sure, you're quite right. The OP was innocently wondering. I apologise for my cynicism in thinking she was criticising people for being hypocrites. She was just trying to understand 😂

They are saying sex before marriage is allowed in Christian scripture. When it’s clearly not.