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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lily Allen ‘can’t remember’ how many abortions she’s had

820 replies

blossoming56 · 03/07/2025 08:05

Article in the Fail today about this.
I am pro choice but it did make me a bit uncomfortable. After a while a string of abortions - too many to remember - would surely leave its mark physically and emotionally not mention the cost on the NHS.
Everyone should have a choice but is there not an element of personal responsibility to just take precautions after the first few times?!

OP posts:
Digdongdoo · 03/07/2025 09:47

There's no such thing as pro choice "but..."
What is morally any different about abortion number 5 vs abortion number 1? It's the exact same procedure.
Anything is better than forced birth and unwanted babies.
I don't think they were proud or flippant, just factual and unashamed. Why no similar ire for the man who apparently paid for one of her abortions?

Cluborange666 · 03/07/2025 09:47

How on earth can you shame someone for their bodily choices? Are we in The Handmaid’s Tale? Tut tut.

Forthemarket · 03/07/2025 09:47

I think Lily was very clear that she wasn’t well parented and had a chaotic time as she was a teen. It’s no surprise that this early experience results in more trauma later. The most disgusting thing here is the language used to degrade her and the references to eugenics.

50andfailing · 03/07/2025 09:48

Caligirl80 · 03/07/2025 08:25

It's a shame that you decided that you had nothing better to do than start a thread about this very sad story.

Sanctimonious bore

ItsAllLogic · 03/07/2025 09:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

OrangeCrushes · 03/07/2025 09:49

I'm getting increasingly angry reading these comments. So she's an evil piece of shit, but you also think she would be a suitable mother, raising 5 extra children that she didn't want and would then send out into society? That would be a better and more moral outcome?

MeganM3 · 03/07/2025 09:50

No one has abortions for fun. We’ve no idea what she was going through or what she was feeling. Not everyone is perfect, infact none of us are. And we all make less than perfect choices sometimes. Lily has done many wonderful things with her life.

SaturdayDream · 03/07/2025 09:50

She’s vile. A mum off the council estate would be dragged over hot coal for saying the same thing.

CreationNat1on · 03/07/2025 09:51

Take your judgement out of other women s vaginas.

How many times is it OK to take the morning after pill? When does it change from a bunch of cells to a moral dilemma?

Do we judge the frequency of pregnancy to the same extent as the frequency of abortion?

Do we judge the frequency of STI tests in the same way? If you consistently used barrier protection you would be much better protected. If someone said they can't remember the number of times they got STI tested, and needed short duration treatment after, I don't think there would be much online commentary.

What about the women who are culturally encouraged to be baby making machines, bringing more and more babies into the world that they can barely manage to parent? Are they good or bad women? What about fundamentalist religious groups brainwashing their congregations into procreation for the sake of it? Those fundamentalist who shame and coerce women into endless pregnancies, parenting and then judge other women who exercise agency over their bodies.

Let's also not forget societal pressure on women to be sexy, to put male pleasure first and to simultaneously be more responsible for contraception. More judged if they make mistakes or poor choices or take risks.

Lilly Allen is no role model, and neither are the men that she procreates with.

Lilly Allen may exhibit poor judgment, I have no idea what the route cause of that is, but it's not an isolated incident. Poor judgment is pretty widespread, particularly with younger people. Perhaps if there are indicators of consistently poor judgment, there should be supports to talk through the underlying issues.

Our time might be better spent analysing why people engage in high risk behaviour. Not naming and shaming women that are cavalier about abortion. (another judgment that is never applied to men).

Dodeedoo · 03/07/2025 09:51

ChatPDQ · 03/07/2025 08:18

If you read the article she referred to (at least 1) boyfriend paying, so your cost to the NHS comment is misguided.

It’s interesting this is focused on her, and not all her partners who it seems (at least some) were aware. There is no judgement on them.

They aren’t the ones bragging about it

SaturdayDream · 03/07/2025 09:51

Cluborange666 · 03/07/2025 09:47

How on earth can you shame someone for their bodily choices? Are we in The Handmaid’s Tale? Tut tut.

Women on MumsNet get shamed for falling pregnant in shitty relationships.

Cluborange666 · 03/07/2025 09:51

My sister (now deceased) had five. She was extremely traumatised by an abusive childhood, including rape and grooming. She wanted a child, would get pregnant, panic and have an abortion. She had a lot of problems. In the end, she had two children and was a good mother.
An abortion should not be an emotive subject any more than a period.

HairsprayBabe · 03/07/2025 09:53

@ItsAllLogic nasty perspective, contraception fails, people get sexually assaulted, the MAP can fail, family circumstances can change in a second and a wanted pregnancy can become an intolerable burden in an instant.

Having sex is not immoral, whether contraception is used or not. Pregnancy is a risk of having sex, regardless of how many precautions one takes.

"poor discipline" doesn't come into it people who believe they are protected from pregnancy get pregnant all the time. And those who choose not to are no less moral than those who do. This isn't 1950, women can think and choose whatever works for them - grow up and maybe ditch the puritanical stick you are using to beat other women with.

BeesAndCrumpets · 03/07/2025 09:53

blossoming56 · 03/07/2025 09:29

Of course it’s not of my business. I don’t know her, even if I did it’s none of my business. But she has gone public with something very topical and like it or not people will talk about it. I’m not judging, I don’t care about it enough to judge but it does open the floor for a discussion.

I am very happy that women have the choice and that she’s been able to safely have abortions in this country. But I do think there has to come a point for women to just think ok I’ll get myself (or my partner) on some reliable contraception so I don’t keep having to do this.

My unsolicited advice is: Listen to the podcast, and get a first hand account (rather than the fucking Daily Fail's) before coming back to this thread.

Kirstk · 03/07/2025 09:53

Her body her choice

KateMiskin · 03/07/2025 09:53

Cluborange666 · 03/07/2025 09:51

My sister (now deceased) had five. She was extremely traumatised by an abusive childhood, including rape and grooming. She wanted a child, would get pregnant, panic and have an abortion. She had a lot of problems. In the end, she had two children and was a good mother.
An abortion should not be an emotive subject any more than a period.

So glad your sister was able to access abortions and go on to have children when in a better place.

donaldtrumponlyhasonedancemove · 03/07/2025 09:54

Don't understand why the OP is getting grief about posting about this when LA was discussing it on her podcast. Also re the Daily Mail being shit, they just reported what she said - on her podcast.

Classic Mumsnet, so many posters desperate to take the moral high ground and berate the OP.

vovov · 03/07/2025 09:54

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 08:11

On what planet would you think something like this is reasonable to have an AIBU natter about it.

you didn’t need to mention her name.

This is someone’s life.

Edited

It is someone’s life yes. But she put it firmly into the public domain by saying it on a public podcast/interview whatever. So it’s absolutely reasonable to discuss.

I think it was a hideous thing for her to have said. Abortion is a last resort when a woman is in a bad situation. Also, how do you think her comments land with those women who are having fertility issues and miscarriages. She absolutely shouldn’t have said it. If she wants to make bad choices, do it in private fgs.

Wheresthebeach · 03/07/2025 09:56

Really not sure why OP is getting such a hard time. It's a chat forum...and this is in the news. God knows attitudes to abortion are very topical so why not discuss it? If it was private - then she wouldn't have done the interviews.

Lioncub2020 · 03/07/2025 09:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I'm with you. If only there was an easy way to prevent getting pregnant......

Didntask · 03/07/2025 09:56

blossoming56 · 03/07/2025 08:05

Article in the Fail today about this.
I am pro choice but it did make me a bit uncomfortable. After a while a string of abortions - too many to remember - would surely leave its mark physically and emotionally not mention the cost on the NHS.
Everyone should have a choice but is there not an element of personal responsibility to just take precautions after the first few times?!

Do you keep this same energy for women who have multiple children via the NHS?

vovov · 03/07/2025 09:56

donaldtrumponlyhasonedancemove · 03/07/2025 09:54

Don't understand why the OP is getting grief about posting about this when LA was discussing it on her podcast. Also re the Daily Mail being shit, they just reported what she said - on her podcast.

Classic Mumsnet, so many posters desperate to take the moral high ground and berate the OP.

I think a bit of it is that certain posters promote feminism above all else. Women's choices trump absolutely everything apparently. Ridiculous.

ElsaMars · 03/07/2025 09:56

I applaud her honesty and think she's taking back the power of this information 'getting out'. SHE said it, it happens.
She's brave as I don't think her MH is great and the hate she'll probably receive is concerning.

Inyournewdress · 03/07/2025 09:57

I think while Lily may be a disturbed person (I don’t know) she has put this out there when she absolutely did not have to. I personally find her attitude and Miquita’s disgusting.

If pro choice doesn’t come with a but, then I guess I am not pro choice.

Kuretake · 03/07/2025 09:59

SaturdayDream · 03/07/2025 09:50

She’s vile. A mum off the council estate would be dragged over hot coal for saying the same thing.

Is your position that both should be dragged over hot coal or that both shouldn't be?

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