Lily Allen ‘can’t remember’ how many abortions she’s had

[blossoming56]

Article in the Fail today about this.
I am pro choice but it did make me a bit uncomfortable. After a while a string of abortions - too many to remember - would surely leave its mark physically and emotionally not mention the cost on the NHS.
Everyone should have a choice but is there not an element of personal responsibility to just take precautions after the first few times?!

People do stupid things when they are young and then grow up. This is called being human. Judging her and shaming her helps no-one. Why are women so happy to shame and judge other women?

Because it is tasteless. I don't disagree it is practicle and sensible, but just because it is doesn't take away the horrific emotional process. Finding it funny is sick.

I don't like abortion. Therefore I wouldn't have one.
However I couldn't accept forcing a woman to go through with a pregnancy having had two children myself. The trauma alone could break a person. I wanted my kids, I still developed PND, had horrific pregnancies and almost died during birth. Taking away a woman's right to choose would take away safety and security.
I also volunteer for a charity that deals with poverty where I live. I see families struggling, day in, day out to feed their kids. I see many parents neglecting their children. I see the hard lives some children live. Maybe taking the stigma away from abortion would decrease hardship for unwanted children in the future.
Women are often the ones judged too harshly but they seem to be the ones left holding the babies when the shit hits the fan. They are the ones who have to seek abortion (and get judged for it), contraception seems to always fall at their feet and childrearing is always left up to them.

If LA needed 4 or 5 abortions, she must have made those choices for a decent reason.

But it's not a horrific emotional process for everyone, at all, especially the more you have. It's a routine medical event.

It's not more 'tasteful' to find it hard.

Please explain how it can be a funny thing to do.

If it isn't traumatic and you can look back at your younger self and your mental choices, it's perfectly OK laugh. Thinking that your shag offering to pay for the abortion "was romantic" is laughable.

Are terminations only acceptable if women are distressed abot them? Are we only allowed autonomy over our fertility if we are suitably ashamed?
Screw that.

There's nothing to feel ashamed or contrite over in ending a pregnancy.

Never said or remotely stated there was any shame in a termination or not acceptable, nor have I remotely stated or suggested any condition for a lack of autonomy. Baffled why you have stated this. So again, please advise how a termination can be amusing.

Did you listen to the podcast, for the full context?

Do you understand that some women celebrate their freedom?

I have now and my view of LA is worse, if possible. For Niquita, I take it back, she appears to be laughing out of embarrassment from LA.

Who cares if other people judge you for it? I'd personally rather have multiple abortions than multiple unwanted children.

Medical abortion are generally very safe and do not affect your fertility. Please educate yourself.

Because people’s lives can be funny. I don’t know if anyone belly laughs their way through a surgical aspiration or giggles while taking the pills – not because those things are inherently traumatic or emotional, but because they might be boring, nondescript, uncomfortable if you’re not a great pill-swallower or don’t like medical settings. But equally I’ve got a friend who tells a God-tier funny story about her wisdom tooth removal – anything can be funny. Lily Allen is clearly being funny that her younger self found it romantic that her boyfriend paid for the abortion: she’s allowed to look back and laugh at her daft 20-something choices, we all are. And abortion included; we don’t have to treat it reverentially or be capital letter Serious about it. Claiming that it’s a traumatic, emotional, difficult decision for every single woman plays into anti-choice hands by making a basic medical procedure into more than what it is.

Even to say it's not a dark situation for an individual, they should have considerstion for others who view. The backlash is karma for her.

I agree that discussing her abortions in this way in the media was in bad taste, but comments like these smack of someone who believes that women who have abortions should hide them away, be ashamed of them, feel bad if they aren't sad or traumatised. And that is nonsense - abortion is healthcare, it is not anything to be ashamed of. The people watching this have an off button they can use.

As a PP says, she isn't laughing at the abortion, she is laughing at the plain ludicrousness of romanticising the situation. The laughter is not humorous, it's an incredulous laugh at her former self. Not the act of abortion itself.

And abortion included; we don’t have to treat it reverentially or be capital letter Serious about it. Claiming that it’s a traumatic, emotional, difficult decision for every single woman plays into anti-choice hands by making a basic medical procedure into more than what it is.

Sorry but you seem to think that being overly serious about abortion plays into anti choice hands when it’s the exact opposite - it’s their contention that women turn to abortion too easily and too casually. There are those who would seek to weaponise exactly the minimising language you use here to remove abortion as a choice - not to mention contraception, as is happening in the US.

Abortion may be easy for some, but not for all, and as with any medical procedure there is always risk. And abortion is not an automatic right in the UK. It still needs the consent of two HCP’s. So the mechanism to remove it in all but TFMR cases exists. Minimising that is irresponsible.

Abortion may be healthcare but please don’t delude yourself into thinking it’s a right in the UK, because it isn’t. How many other ‘healthcare’ procedures do you know of that can only be legally undertaken with the consent of two doctors ?

she was singing it in a song in the interview . it felt like she was completely trivialising the situation. i think while i do support the right of anyone to have an abortion as is the law i don’t always have to agree with the reason or attitude. such as it being used as a form of contraception or because the baby is the wrong gender.

This will most likely change soon, legally.

In practice the process of obtaining a early abortion is extremely smooth, rightfully so.

I’d also like an explanation of how abortion can be termed a routine medical event when it can only be legally performed with the consent of two doctors. It isn’t a right, and it can be taken away just as easily as it was provided for. Look at the shitshow in the USA, which is having all kinds of serious ramifications for womens’ healthcare and has led to women being imprisoned after miscarriage or stillbirth. Thy’re going after contraception too in some states. There are those who would seek to render women as walking incubators and l don’t think attitudes like LA’s help.

There would need to be an amendment to the 1967 abortion act but we can hope.

Most notable by the anti abortion lobby not giving a shit about what happens to an unwanted child after birth. Nine months is all that matters. Stop abortion, but don’t ask us to provide any support in consequence. Such hypocrisy.

I'm fully aware, and I support changing the UK model to take it completely into the healthcare system as well as dropping the double signoff. It's ridiculous and patronising.

The thing is, not every woman shares your views of abortion. For many women, it is a case of taking some medication and terminating something which at that point is some cells.

Not every woman sees it as a tough decision, not every woman feels any guilt or even any deliberation over it. I have had more than one abortion when younger and am completely mentally detached from it, despite having a child when I was ready and willing to be a good mother.

I am staunchly pro choice and whether a woman has one abortion, or five, and whether it's because of trauma or simply not wanting to have a child, makes no difference. There should be zero shame around this.

Gotta admit I think I would cringe a bit if I heard a woman laughing off her abortions. But then again at the same time I think I would also be relieved for her that she’s not completely messed up from having 5 abortions.

That’s very true. Though I do think she struggles - she’s quite open about it too.