Lily Allen ‘can’t remember’ how many abortions she’s had

[blossoming56]

Article in the Fail today about this.
I am pro choice but it did make me a bit uncomfortable. After a while a string of abortions - too many to remember - would surely leave its mark physically and emotionally not mention the cost on the NHS.
Everyone should have a choice but is there not an element of personal responsibility to just take precautions after the first few times?!

LA is diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and ADHD, combined with her childhood role models and mentors, explains her high risk choices.

She needed help earlier, and didn't get it in time. The terminations were the right choice for her at the time.

I feel that we should not be openly judging women asserting their rights to what needs to be viewed as healthcare.
These discussions open the doors to situations like in the US where women are being forced to remain pregnant when it is a danger to their health and will never produce a baby (molar pregnancy etc) or are being kept on life support to sustain a foetus for months.

I think as women, we need to choose to support women's reproductive choices or not, and accept that not is likely to set us back 40+ years in our productive rights.

And I can't bloody stand Lily Allen.

I'm not remotely interested in Lily Allen but has she not had substance abuse issues? And she's in the music business? And people are surprised that she's not been on the ball with contraception?

You need to a) stop reading the misogyny in the Daily Mail, because that's all it is; and b) get a more open mind about lives that aren't yours. That's to anyone on the thread who cares to identify.

It’s pretty obvious why people have opinions.

Lily Allen publicised it. I would hate for my 17yo dd to hear this and think that 5 abortions is a run of the mill thing that everyone does.

Her body, her choice - fine. And that would indeed have been the end of it is she had not chosen to publicise it ! But she did ! So it isn’t the end of it now.

I'm not your hun, I won't be responding to anymore pointless drivel.

I blame the Patriarchy, inter generational trauma and poor coping skills.

Therapy is the answer.

I'd rather my 17 year old read that than judgemental attitudes tbh. Open a discussion with her.

@Beeloux that's the thing it can happen, even post sterilisation/vasectomy no matter what you do, even with withdrawal there is still risk. To judge anyone is odd especially as you personally know failures happen,

I am currently on the implant and using condoms, but if I got pregnant again I would get an abortion, even though that would be my third, as there is no such thing as too many abortions.

Any why shouldn’t anyone criticise?
Lots of things don’t affect us personally! The abortions laws in America for example, or pretty much most of what trump says doesn’t affect me personally yet I have an opinion. Trans women in sports, pip payments or many other topics that people on mn get their knickers in a twist about don’t directly affect me, yet I have an opinion and can discuss if I wish.
IMO those saying don’t judge on here are the most judgy of all. Who are you to judge the OP for starting a discussion? Maybe the OP feels strongly about this topic and wants other opinions.

I didn’t say you were!!! You are the one posting pointless crap to other posters. Have a nice day!

Are you talking about me? Or the OP?

It's not a "bitchfest". It's perfectly reasonable to discuss something that is out in the public realm. I think her abortion-as-a-contraceptive-method is utterly disgraceful.

It might surprise you to say I'm not anti-abortion. I am against it in principle, but I also understand that women do need them so I wouldn't stop them from having one. However, getting to the point where you laugh about it and say "I can't remember how many I've had" is a real low point for mankind. What kind of message does that send out to impressionable women and girls? Or even boys and men?

This kind of behaviour does not need to be 'normalised'. If something "needs to be 'normalised'", then really the person feels some sort of shame, which is what they should feel. Judgement is sometimes required.

Are you new to MN? People start conversations all the time. Sometimes along the lines of ‘celebrities you hate and why’. This isn’t that. I’m not judging or inviting others to judge. It’s a conversation about abortion that happened to come up because she publicised her ‘4 or 5’ unwanted pregnancies.

That is just ignoring the fact that Allen should have taken responsibility for her decisions.

What are you inviting people to do exactly?

You don’t have to join every conversation. But telling her to mind her own business does not allow for any constructive debate or critical thinking on a very divisive topic such as abortion.

You may as well be telling her to shut up in which case why don’t you just scroll past instead?

As already stated, bitchfest.
What shallow and judgemental lives you must all lead.

It’s also a shame that grown women can’t have an objective discussion about important things without being accused of judging, starting a ‘bitchfest’ or being told to mind their own business.

Reframe it without the LA aspect if you want. Would you be happy if your daughter got pregnant so many times and ended up losing count of how many abortions they’ve had?

She's highly unlikely to have gone through the NHS for these abortions.

There is no constructive debate here, except for the one poster who mentioned ADHD diagnosis, the rest is judgement - words such as disgusting or deciding how many abortions we think women are allowed to have (when actually there is no limit on legal abortions). People are also making false claims regarding side effects or even claiming that one woman's abortion somehow affects them.

Join in a discussion about having numerous abortions, if they want to.

How is it, when she did take responsibility (by having abortions when she didn't want to have the baby)?

What you are advocating is behaviour that she might not have been capable of at the time, actually, and which aligns with your image of how a woman ought to present. Newsflash: there is no one way to be a woman. Casual, unprotected sex happens. Need I also mention that the man involved also did not conform to your template? Or do you perhaps not have a template for male behaviour?

I think your brain explodes and all your internal organs are turned into pâté, and then your hair starts growing out of your mouth, or something. I heard it on the back of the bus so it must be true.

Lily Allen publicised it. I would hate for my 17yo dd to hear this and think that 5 abortions is a run of the mill thing that everyone does.

I thought exactly the same thing about my DD. I wouldn’t like her to read something like this and for it to feel normalised to her.

It‘s not empowering to hear a woman has well and truly utilised her rights and had 5 abortions. She didn’t need to tell us all.

Hmmm it's totally possible to judge a woman for being reckless and irresponsible and to support her right to access an abortion. Asking people to suspend judgement is pretty much asking the impossible, however I think it's important to recognise that people (men and women) make terrible choices all the time but it's almost always not in society's or the child's interest for a baby to born in these circumstances. Abortion is probably still the best outcome for everyone involved even though it's not ideal.

@Morgenrot25
You do realize that instead of discussing the topic the OP has raised … you are attacking the OP. Why and what are you hoping to achieve?