Is this a generational thing or is it just my friendship circle [Content warning: mentions of suicide]

[Andoutcomethewolves]

YABU - it's just your friends
YANBU - this is normal for people of your age

Just been informed another friend of mine has committed suicide. That makes it four so far this year. Last year it was eight (suicides and ODs). One friend this year died of natural causes but he was only 30, he had a heart attack which I assume was caused in part by his long term heroin addiction. He'd actually got himself clean and I was so proud of him.

This isn't normal, is it? I'm just so desensitised I can't even shed a tear for my friend of over 20 years.

Does anyone else have a similar experience? I've lost at least two people every year since I was 17.

ETA - I'm 40 if that makes any odds

[Title edited by MNHQ to include content warning]

I'm sorry for all your losses, OP.

I wouldn't say it was normal, no. I'm in my late 30s and I've never known anyone who has died by suicide or overdose.

No I wouldnt say that's typical
I'm early 40s and not lost a single friend in that time

No this isn't normal OP and it's heartbreaking to read. Have you got anyone you can talk to? Take care

I’m so sorry.
It’s unusual but yes- it can be ‘contagious’ that’s why the Samaritans have very strict guidelines about reporting. Coupled with you knowing people in active addiction those numbers are understandable.
Are you ok?

Sorry for your losses. Apart from a boy in my school and a friends dad they the only ones I vaguely know who tried suicide...the boy was successful, the dad would have been but fur a strange term of fate. It's not normal at all I'm afraid op.

I’m early 30s and the only person I personally know who killed himself was my Step-Mum’s Step-Dad and he was elderly.
I see the Facebook posts and the news about it but I don’t know lots of people who have died by suicide.
I’m sorry for your loss OP x

Iv had a few friends end their life including my bf but it was more late teens early 20s. Absolutely horrific for the people left behind so much worse then other types of deaths

Not normal, no. I’m a decade older than you and have only lost 3 friends in my life (car crash, cancer, alcoholism). I think I’ve been lucky and I’m sure that luck has to run out soon… but 8 in one year is awful.

I wouldn’t say that’s normal, no. I’m in my 60s and since my 20s lost one friend and 2 colleagues to suicide. Very sorry you’ve experienced the loss of so many people, and it is completely understandable if you feel very numb.

Holy fuck @Andoutcomethewolves 😢

Not normal at all, no.

You mentioned one friend had a heroin addiction, are most of the people in this group addicts? That could possibly explain it.

I'm in my 40s and only 1 acquaintance from a hobby has died from suicide, no overdoses (not sure I know anyone who has even tried heroin).

Thankfully no, not for my friends and acquaintances. I'm early 40s and only know one person who's died by suicide. Four people I know of around my age have died in the past 10 years, two from bowel cancer, one from alcoholism/Covid, and one, most likely, from doing too many drugs for too long.

Did the people all know each other? It can be something of a copycat thing, sadly.

12 suicides in 18 months is a massive amount OP.

I'm so sorry

OP I’m like you but Im 50 and from the age of 18 I’ve lost lots of very close friends over the years a variety of ways car accidents, sports accident, hospital negligence x 2 overdose and a few to cancer.

I feel like I’m the unusual one so I think you’ve just been unlucky.

Yep that was my reaction too.

no, @Andoutcomethewolves that's not 'normal' (thankfully)

im 55 & 'only' know 1 person IRL that died by suicide (it was tragic, DC 11 yo friend) many many years ago.

Sadly a few MNers partners/kids ❤️‍🩹

Please find a therapist to help you cope with this extreme loss of lives x

That's rough. Sorry you're going through this.

I think it's fair to say a number people in my extended circle have lived at the extremes (drugs, alcohol) and there have been early deaths - suicide and otherwise. It shouldn't be normal.

I don't think that many (so sorry) is normal but I do think suicide is becoming more prevelant for the older millennials, there were 4 suicides from my year at school notified on FB last year and 3 this year already.
There's a hopelessness since covid, it went to shit and life has not improved much and doesn't look likely to for generations if at all.

Gosh that’s awful. I’m so sorry.

I don’t know anybody who has taken their life.

No, I don't think that's usual.

None of my friends have commited suicide or taken an overdose.

I've known one person who committed suicide, a work colleague. I had a distant cousin who died from an accidental overdose.

That’s sad OP, but not typical I would say
I’m mid 30s dh is 40 and we don’t have any friends as adults who committed suicide
I know of one man who I was friends with at school who committed suicide in early 20thag was tragic

Very sadly clusters can be a bit of a ‘thing’, as Lamelie says. Someone experienced in mental health care might be along to explain why. But no, not normal.

We tend to say ‘died by suicide’ nowadays. I think it used to be illegal hence the outdated term
‘comitted’.

You are a similar age to DD. She had one friend commit suicide about 10 years ago, completely out of the blue, and another who keeps threatening to. I had a room mate back in the 70s who threatened but didn't carry it out and DH had 1 colleague, kill himself about 30 years ago, in his 40s. His sister was fuming with him for the grief he put his parents through. I think a big difference is drug use is more prevalent in the younger generations. As a teenager, we saw a bit of weed at some parties, but that was about it, and the people using it were slight oddballs. I didn't go to Uni, so there may have been more there, but you certainly didn't smell it every day of the week when just walking through town.