Feeling wounded by DP's comment about a fitness video I sent him.

[ExplosiveDiorEar]

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

Sort of thing my DP would say which is why I don’t share things that are special to me with him, often I share them with my children though who are always great. I also don’t enthuse about his achievements because I won’t give him my energy and big him up when he’s so negative. It’s amazing how quick they get it when you mirror their behaviour.

For goodness sake, he’s a grown man not a Labrador.

Wow wow OP. 1.5x bodyweight! That’s some achievement, well done. I’m still fannying around squatting barely above half of mine!

I also know what you mean, especially with a PT they sometimes need to get quite close to spot you. Even correcting form - I’ve had my PT say before ‘is it okay if I touch your back/arm’ etc to show me how to right my position. I’m sorry your DH has pissed all over your chips!!

You did what??

Her husband can show interest in something that's important to his wife.

Well done OP that is an amazing achievement you should be so chuffed !!!

I think maybe partner is a wee bit insecure - does he have hobbies interests goals ?

Loving the idea of a cream egg reward !

Are you very drunk or did you hit your head? Because it's not remotely funny and if it's really cracking you up, you might want to get checked over.

He’s a jealous man-child! Hope he grows up soon! 🚩

Id feel the same as you OP. Hypothetically that is as there's no way I could lift that!! Well done!

Did you say anything to him immediately after his comment?

Fantastic, well done, that's amazing!! Does he have no idea about how to lift, or how trainers spot you when you're working out? He's a jealous unsupportive prick.

In fairness I used to have a weekend hobby doing that.

Well done OP

i wonder if the next thread about a husband sharing his fitness updates or cycling distances will be as supportive or will revert to the usual “his hobbies are his business”

It’s 16c in sunderland, not all of the UK is boiling hot. Definitely crème egg weather if OP
is in the more northern counties 😆

Just because you wish to live life with the grit and strength of a limp lettuce leaf, doesn't mean the OP should. I could manufacture drones for the Iranian army in my spare time and DH wouldn't give a shite so long as it made me happy (and freed up more time for him to watch yet more football...)

Squatting 1.5x your BW is massive, OP. I AM DELIGHTED FOR YOU.

Congratulations!

I know other people have different standards and may think I’m being OTT, but this would honestly make me question whether I want to remain in this relationship. Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader, celebrate your achievements and encourage you.

The fact that not only has he not done that but he’s also more preoccupied by the personal trainer tells me he’s massively insecure, either about you getting in shape or about other men or both.

I’d guess his insecurities will show more the fitter you get if he’s like this now. I wouldn’t be surprised if he starts putting you down more.

He sounds like a dickhead, frankly.

1.5 BW squat is very impressive, excellent work!

DP being a dick for sure.

As an aside though, single spotter behind isn’t great. One each side or inside a rack with safety pins much better.

I did my 1st 1/2 marathon wife promised to come and film me crossing the line
she missed it completely and turned up 25 minutes late as said “I thought you’d be slow “

whilst a big achievement for me she has zero interest in running

Well done that is a great achievement- glad your PT and training partner were proud of you.

Only you know if this is usual behaviour or if your husband is just being a dick on this occasion. Does your husband train? Is he feeling a bit put out and so is negging you to puff up his male ego. If he doesn’t train/use the gym he probably first understand how to spot (my PT would be behind me, but not with his arms at armpit level)

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions- I can’t understand a) why you’d want to be with someone who thinks they can police your hobbies and b) why you’d appease such a fragile male ego by giving up your hobby. It was tjeir problem to address - not yours to solve.

Jeez there are some nasty responses on here, some of you have spent too much time in the sun. OP YANBU. I have no interest in anything gym related but that's an incredible achievement and it's not surprising you'd want to record it or to share it with your DH. If someone I loved had achieved something important to them I'd be pleased for them even if I had no interest in the thing itself. You were asking for a well done, that's not much to ask. It doesn't sound like your instructor was being handsy at all, as you say, being nearby ready to intervene is standard gym practice, and joke or not I'dve been hurt by your DHs comment too, not the time or the place.

it wss probably a throwaway comment.

as a fellow gym goer, completely get why you needed to video it. 1.5 x your body weight is super impressive. If you don’t mind me asking what was the approximate weight? If you just mentioned the first number that’s enough so you don’t out your body weighr.
i am 73 kg so can’t imagine ever being able to lift 1.5 x my body weight although i have seen smaller women lift 2 x body weight

Have some people on this thread got terrible sunburn?! Why so miserable. YANBU OP - well done!

It's rarely too hot for a creme egg. If you're in my part of Scotland, it's actually cool.

Anyway, congrats @OP. I can barely manage a side raise with 2 4kg weights. I'd need a forklift to manage 1.5 times my weight!

Is there a fun police gathering on this thread?
OP you did great. I understand you feeling annoyed your DH didn't celebrate it with you but well done! You did it and that's amazing. Yanbu to want the person who loves you to want to share in your excitement.