Slightly grabby party dad?

[Aibuuuuuu]

DD was invited to a party this weekend. It was at a girl’s house that she doesn’t know super well; the whole class was invited. Anyway on Saturday morning she was throwing up with a fever and the party was on Sunday. So on Saturday, I sent my apologies and said DD is unwell and can’t come - which is late but obviously no choice. I said I’d send the present (that we’d already bought and wrapped) in on Monday.

No reply of acknowledgement, but whatever, parties are hectic and I don’t know this family.

DD forgot to put the present in her bag this morning, and I didn’t notice until we got back from the school run. No matter, I thought, I’ll make sure she takes it tomorrow. Didn’t send an apology to the parents that the present wasn’t going to be there today as that felt a bit pointless since they didn’t respond to my other message.

Anyway, the dad has just WhatsApp’d me saying “Hope DD is better. X is looking forward to receiving her present :)”.

I don’t know why, but that has irritated me! Like, it’s a big grabby or they don’t believe I bought one or something?

I vented mildly to DH and he said “they just don’t believe you got a present, just send it in tomorrow”.

I know this isn’t a real problem and maybe I’m being unreasonable… but is that a kind of annoying message to send? It feels like they’re nagging me to give them stuff!

Wow!

Nothing I’ve said is a lie! DD was sick, I did have a present ready. A present DD and I picked out together and was actually a nice present. It was ready to go, all wrapped up as I am a weird organised neat freak.

I didn’t stew. Didn’t give it another thought after my cancel! I don’t know the family, whole class invited, at their house. Not such a big deal if DD wasn’t there. But yes, I said I’d send the present as I figured they’d probably lost money on that bit of food / party bag etc.

Anyway, I’ve sent the present with DD this morning, the girl should get it today.

Haha this made me laugh!!!

Omg as an autistic person this has actually shocked me a little bit as I would have responded like the dad (and not meant anything bad by it at all 😭)

This is why NT get so annoyed with me all the time. They interpret intent which was not there in the first place!

If you were sending it in with your child into school he might have thought your dd had secretly kept it and he was letting you know…

I’m NT and would take this in the spirit it seems to have been sent. Why read into things negative undertones? The OP is being ridiculous imo.

Don’t worry, speaking as a NT person it didn’t even occur to me that the dad was being rude. I don’t believe he is at all. As someone else said, those who are arguing that he was sound like extremely hard work and just looking for a fight! In other words, the sort of parents you want to avoid…

You're actually a fucking bizarre human if this is what you've taken from it. Good grief

Only the chronically oversensitive would be upset by this message from the dad.

I have read some totally made-up, bat-shite posts here on MN, but this is definitely one of the top ten. Also, in the running for the first-place awards for "Most convoluted" and "Making no sense but lots of nonsense". 😆

Get some help, if not for your sake, for the rest of society's sake. 🙏

This. You'd already bought it for her after all. Sounds like you're looking for an excuse not to give it otherwise.

I gave it to her! Well, DD did.

Just got this reply from the dad “Present received👍”

In keeping with the first message anyway!

Perhaps he is just letting me know things in practical, straightforward language and I’m just reading into his tone!

Ahh well, that’s the end of that!

Apologies posted in error with quote.

I think men are much more inclined to simply exchange information. They’re often not great at the emotional stuff, especially via text.

You: “Sorry DD can’t make the party. She’s ill. We’ll drop the present off.”
Him: “Hope DD feels better soon. Birthday DD is looking forward to her present.”

He’s literally responding to the information you gave him. Yes, it’s blunt and not fluffy but I don’t think he was rude or grabby.

Yes true! My message about DD not attending was way more flowery, things like “so sad to miss out”, “so sorry”, “hope X has a wonderful party” etc etc but that’s probably not his vibe!

I’m probably expecting the same sort of thing in return. “No need to send a present at all, but that’s really kind of you, X would be very happy” and then when she’s got it; whether she likes it or not, “thank you for a lovely present, X loves her new blah blah”.

I think I’m expecting the floweriness that I’d send and the blunt isn’t translating well for me!

What sort of a man sends a message like that?! What a twat🙄

Surely you should be keen to get the present into the hands of the child you bought it for? That child might have been disappointed when yours wasn't able to come.

Oh give over. Keen haha.

The man is bloody rude. No thank you or anything.

I'd message back and say you're welcome.

cheeky twat - be tempted to text something snarky back asking for a party bag

Haha! Yes I did think about it!

Grabby and grubby! But glad he was grabby about gifts and not grabby with DD which is what I feared on reading the title!

I hope you replied ‘DD looking forward to her party bag and cake!’ Honestly, I used to go overboard on party bags and often spend more on them (nice stuff not plastic tat) than I imagine DD’s gifts cost! Thank god that’s all over!

@Waterweightis on crack

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and see that as a reply to your msg on Sat but just very late.