Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Slightly grabby party dad?

231 replies

Aibuuuuuu · 30/06/2025 21:18

DD was invited to a party this weekend. It was at a girl’s house that she doesn’t know super well; the whole class was invited. Anyway on Saturday morning she was throwing up with a fever and the party was on Sunday. So on Saturday, I sent my apologies and said DD is unwell and can’t come - which is late but obviously no choice. I said I’d send the present (that we’d already bought and wrapped) in on Monday.

No reply of acknowledgement, but whatever, parties are hectic and I don’t know this family.

DD forgot to put the present in her bag this morning, and I didn’t notice until we got back from the school run. No matter, I thought, I’ll make sure she takes it tomorrow. Didn’t send an apology to the parents that the present wasn’t going to be there today as that felt a bit pointless since they didn’t respond to my other message.

Anyway, the dad has just WhatsApp’d me saying “Hope DD is better. X is looking forward to receiving her present :)”.

I don’t know why, but that has irritated me! Like, it’s a big grabby or they don’t believe I bought one or something?

I vented mildly to DH and he said “they just don’t believe you got a present, just send it in tomorrow”.

I know this isn’t a real problem and maybe I’m being unreasonable… but is that a kind of annoying message to send? It feels like they’re nagging me to give them stuff!

OP posts:
Eldermileniummam · 02/07/2025 21:33

He could have said thank you!

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 02/07/2025 21:57

Waterweight · 01/07/2025 00:54

Is everybody on crack ?

This ^ I'd put money on OP having stewed over this the whole weekend & wants to find fault in the dad as she herself looks like a crap parent

Everybody can weigh in on how awful the dad is, how his child doesn't deserve gifts, how her child is at deaths door but on absolute face value OP accepted an invitation to a birthday party when she knew her child wasn't close to this girl, canceled last minute & lied about a gift coming that didnt exist then slagged this family off online & sat back while grown adults have gone to town with there opinions on this poor girl & her dad

OP - in the nicest possible way = LEAVE THIS FAMILY ALONE - you can buy 100+ gifts & not make it up to them what YOU, YOURSELF have done intentionally or by accident. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM PARENT HERE. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO COME OUT ON TOP.

I hope for their sake the kids never overlap again birthday wise & your family is being viewed poorly right now as you've brought it on yourself not by cancelling as your child was sick but by trying to save face with a non existent present & a massive Invasion of privacy & lack of respect towards the parents when the response text didn't arrive immediately.

Fuck me, just when I think MN has reached peak batshittery along comes this one...

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 07:33

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/07/2025 16:15

I have read some totally made-up, bat-shite posts here on MN, but this is definitely one of the top ten. Also, in the running for the first-place awards for "Most convoluted" and "Making no sense but lots of nonsense". 😆

Get some help, if not for your sake, for the rest of society's sake. 🙏

Yes, OPs aren’t always 100% clear or truthful are they @AnnoyedAsAllHeck ?!

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 04/07/2025 00:38

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 07:33

Yes, OPs aren’t always 100% clear or truthful are they @AnnoyedAsAllHeck ?!

Youre Wrong First Place GIF by Timothy Winchester

Hate to burst your bubble, Toots, but my reply was NOT to the OP.

You are too weird for words. Well, I guess bat-shit is a word, though hyphenated. LOL!

ChocolateGanache · 04/07/2025 08:36

Aibuuuuuu · 01/07/2025 18:15

Yes true! My message about DD not attending was way more flowery, things like “so sad to miss out”, “so sorry”, “hope X has a wonderful party” etc etc but that’s probably not his vibe!

I’m probably expecting the same sort of thing in return. “No need to send a present at all, but that’s really kind of you, X would be very happy” and then when she’s got it; whether she likes it or not, “thank you for a lovely present, X loves her new blah blah”.

I think I’m expecting the floweriness that I’d send and the blunt isn’t translating well for me!

I think you are right OP
He’s just blunt or busy.
Not his kid’s fault hey.

ConcernedSchoolStaff · 08/07/2025 16:50

It's possible that the birthday girl was really looking forward to the present. I realise you said the girls are not that close, but it may be that their DD wants to be closer friends with your DD and was hoping the present would be something that could bond over. I tend to give the benefit of any doubt myself but YMMV.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread