HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

[RockNRoll25]

Looking for a bit of a hand hold. I submitted a grievance against a male colleague for a comment he made about me which was sexual in nature. HR have investigated and closed the case after speaking to him and accepting his explanation that his comment wasn’t sexual. It absolutely was an inappropriate innuendo and I’m really surprised by the response.

Has anyone been in a similar position - would you try to find another job, or ask to be moved teams?

It could have been an innocent remark. You have no way of knowing.

That isn’t a sexual innuendo. You were getting your lips pumped. As in pumped up with filler. Sorry but I’d have laughed!!

Sounds like he can get away with it since technically pumped could mean filled unfortunately. He may think he’s clever by using innuendo but I think if the volume of comments he makes, whether blatant or veiled, could still amount to harassment if they’re constant.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this It’s not okay that your concerns weren’t taken seriously If HR isn’t helping, thinking about switching teams or jobs to protect yourself makes sense. Your well-being comes first

I agree

You were getting your lips pumped though? That’s not a sexual comment unless you read pumped as innuendo / he might have been being a bit derogatory but not sexual- or at the very least not obviously sexual

I'm sorry but we are seriously in a snowflake environment!
It was meant in jest, there was no malice, just a simple comment that you were in fact getting your lips pumped or were you not?
I miss the days of proper jest and giggles without offending the snow flakes.

I used to work in a fruit and veg wholesale, next to a butchers, got called melons and had the funniest giggles ever! Great times!

Jesus, you went to HR for THIS!? Poor bloke…

Good grief OP, sensitive or what. His statement was factual, only you made a sexual analogy from it. Lighten up, getter a thicker skin or become a hermit so you don’t have to deal with people.

He sounds like a bit of a wanker but this is hardly a sackable offence OP, what were you expecting to happen?

Her concerns were taken seriously though. HR investigated her grievance. Just because they didn't agree with her doesn't mean that the situation wasn't dealt with appropriately.

There is too much telling the teacher behaviour in the work place, we are adults if someone has offended you tell them! The old boy probably doesn’t realise what he’s said is offensive.

Lots of men bank on being perceived as 'the old boy' who doesn't realise he's said anything.

OP, keep logging everything that crosses into inappropriate territory. A man who will say this will say something else.

To the many women who apparently don't understand the disgusting double meaning of this comment - be glad you don't interact with men who speak so crassly - and stop assuming that means there aren't any out there who do!

If you're offended by the truth then maybe you need to learn a little resilience. He's right, that's what a lot people understand it to be, getting lips pumped. They're pumped with toxins to make them look strange. HR were right to dismiss it.

Can't see he said anything out of order really. Maybe there was a sly dig. But what he said was factual. Hr have nothing to go on really. Be careful he doesn't put a grievance in on you for harassment. That could stand.

No.
YOU have no way of knowing because all YOU have to go on is the words spoken. But the vast majority of communication is non-verbal (tone of voice, timing, facial expression) and that can send an entirely different message.

But you're assuming he definitely was being offensive despite countless people telling you it's an acceptable term.

Why can't other people make assumptions which don't match yours without apparently being incapable of understanding?

To the many women who apparently don't understand the disgusting double meaning of this comment - be glad you don't interact with men who speak so crassly - and stop assuming that means there aren't any out there who do!

Plenty of people understand that there is a potential double meaning to it. But there is no way of knowing if he meant that it that way, or even knew that it exists. He used a common phrase in a factual way.

What outcome would you feel was appropriate?

there are protocols that businesses must adhere to when formally disciplining staff.

In this instance a formal discussion with the person and perhaps it being formally noted as a first warning would be the norm. They cannot outright sack him…

They investigated him and didn't find that he did anything wrong. Why would they discipline him or give him a formal warning?

Not knowing that it wasn’t isn’t proof that it was, and for the complaint of sexual harassment to be upheld HR needed significantly more than ‘we can’t prove that it wasn’t’.

HR investigated this, and in doing so they would have spoken to the other colleague involved who it would seem did not share OP’s perception of the comment. This man may or may not be a sleaze. He may be a sleaze that wasn’t actually being sleazy here.

OP - your best course of action is to keep your work interactions professional from here on out. What impact this will have on your relationships with your colleagues remains to be seen. I suspect he at least will give you a wide berth. I advise against taking it upon yourself to ‘out’ him. It’s one thing if he says something directly to you, but don’t try and get others to back you up and report him lest you be perceived as vindictively attempting a witch-hunt.

She has nothing to log so how can she keep on logging things?

Having had to hear grievances at work I can tell you this doesn’t even come close to being one.

No it wouldn’t, that’s laughable. Have you ever investigated or heard a grievance? I can tell you this doesn’t even come close.

Precious princess, lighten up

Hilarious. Are people really getting this precious and hypersensitive?