HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

[RockNRoll25]

Looking for a bit of a hand hold. I submitted a grievance against a male colleague for a comment he made about me which was sexual in nature. HR have investigated and closed the case after speaking to him and accepting his explanation that his comment wasn’t sexual. It absolutely was an inappropriate innuendo and I’m really surprised by the response.

Has anyone been in a similar position - would you try to find another job, or ask to be moved teams?

Oh my word, but nobody said anything about a flipping surgeon!!!

The surgeon doesn't exist!

Sorry OP, I can't see anything wrong with this, someone has tried to explain it but to be honest for it they are streching things to try to find some way to make it an innuendo. As to someone saying they think pumped is only used in sexual terms, well I often refer to my tyres as pumped up, to DS's muscles being pumped. I have never hear of pumped being related to anything sexual before.

Im sorry but I don't get how that's sexual. Personally I don't talk to the whole office about what beauty treatments Im having. I get on with my work.
I mean if someone said I'm getting my tyres pumped that wouldn't be sexual either.
It would be sexual if he'd said are you getting a Brazilian as well. I find this whole thing really bizarre.

The right is to be protected from sexual harassment at work, and have perpetrators dealt with appropriately. Your mother and grandmother didn’t have that right, or at least, it wasn’t a right that could be effectively exercised.

This right is undermined when women try to use it to make spurious complaints such as the one raised by the OP. Had this happened to your grandmother she likely wouldn’t have even been able to raise a grievance in the first place, even if the issue had been something far more serious that actually constituted harassment.

It will probably happen again, possibly with someone else and HR won’t be able to avoid it.

I’m sorry but I think you have lived a very sheltered life if you think that’s sexual innuendo. I think he just stated what you were doing didn’t he? 🤷🏼‍♀️

They will if the complaint is as spurious as this one.

Agree. If he has a history of making questionable comments it’s only a matter of time, but this incident doesn’t meet the threshold for sexual harassment - that’s why HR rejected it. Personally l’d have reported him for the comment about the ‘spring in the step’.

This. The law is intended for actual harassment, it’s not a stick with which to beat colleagues you don’t like or who irritate you.

The reading comprehension on MN really is at an all time low isn’t it ? Someone mentioned a surgeon upthread and was immediately taken down for misogyny in assuming that the fictional ‘surgeon’ was a man !!

How in hell can 67% of voters think you're being unreasonable. Every one of them need to take their diversity training. Any racist, sexist, gender related or bully tactics are unacceptable in the work place. Your HR dept. are very wrong. Regardless of whether he thought it was OK or not, you took offence to it and your HR dept. should have backed you and he should have had, at least, a verbal warning.

Wow, I work in HR and would struggle with this. Sadly people are being more and more offended over things nowadays, it doesn’t mean the other person has necesssrily done anything wrong, but you’ve construed it a particular way. Hopefully a brief chat with him has made him understand the reality of how things could progress, if he is as you say he is.

From a personal point of view, you were getting your lips pumped, so if you’re going to get offended over someone describing it this way, then maybe don’t do it, or don’t advertise it 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is sound advice - one inadvertent comment aside ( and I’m not suggesting your OP was / is one) but a series of innuendo directed towards another colleague is a different matter.

Because the comment in itself didn’t meet the threshold for sexual harassment. This isn’t rocket science - there’s a law to be applied here so you can’t go bandying these kinds of accusations around for just anything. It’s not about whether you were offended by the comment, it’s about whether it breached the law. And the very fact that the majority of posters here couldn’t find the innuendo is a fair indication that it didn’t. If HR had taken action based on this exchange the company could well have found themselves on the receiving end of a lawsuit. I swear there are some posters here who would have men sit in silence for rear of causing offence.

Oh yes, I had an absolutely terrible time when I returned to work following a hysterectomy. A male colleague commented on the amount of time I’d had off. I took it to my team manager who was incompetent and unable to manage the situation appropriately. The man had been a professional footballer back in the day so the whole team supported him and I was discriminated against for months until I eventually left. It really was a terrible time for me and one I find hard to forget even now after many years. I feel for you and hope you get a better outcome than I did.

Nope. This whole post screams that you have no idea how this law is applied. Just because someone takes offence at a comment, doesn’t mean it breaches the law or qualifies as harassment. The bloke in question is protected by the same law and the company HR needs to demonstrate an even hand. Which they have. The comment does not meet the threshold for sexual harassment. People taking the piss with something that was designed to address actual harassment is the problem here. OP hasn’t shown herself in a good light. At all.

If he had said filled that could also have been taken the wrong way. I have never known pumped, or pumping to be sexual innuendo.

What utter tripe. He said nothing sexual. It's her who has been telling everyone in the office about her personal life. You can't be disciplined for being a bit of a bore or a silly old fool.
Women who make a huge fuss about nothing being a thing are just making the rest of us look bloody stupid.
I remember what real harassment was back in the 80s when I started work. It was horrifying. Stop being so wet.

Depends on what the comment was though doesn’t it ? If it escalated into out and out discrimination why did you not take action ? This thread is demonstrating quite a concerning level of misunderstanding of what sexual harassment actually is.

Sounds like (yes, inappropriate) jokey banter, I've heard far worse! He will have realised not to make these remarks in the future I'm sure, well maybe only to those who would just tell him to bugger off and take it as a laugh.

As I repeatedly say on threads like this, HR are not on your side, they are on the side of the company. This was always going to happen, unless the company actually wanted to get rid of the person you complained about.

Perhaps getting pumped is a regional thing as I took it as innuendo

It sounds as if he has made inappropriate comments in the past, but getting your lips pumped is not sexual, it was fact and so I agree with HR

Sounds like he's old school and definitely needs to retake his diversity training. As for everyone accepting 'thats just X being X' is disgraceful and also not acceptable. I work in HR too and he would have received a verbal warning if I had been in the chair. People should think before they open their mouths!

Out of curiosity, OP are you Scottish...particularly from the West? I am and I would have absolutely taken that as sexual innuendo.