To tell the school my child will NOT go to detention..

[Nataliaa]

DD year 7 has been given a 30 minute detention tomorrow afternoon, after school. Since starting secondary, she has received 2 detentions- 1 for forgetting her PE shorts and 1 for not completing homework.
I fully supported the school and the consequences DD had to face on these 2 occasions. She did learn from each time and since then, she has always been organised with PE kit and completing homework.
DD is well behaved, works hard and all school reports have been brilliant so we have no concerns.

Back to today… it is 31 degrees and the school allowed blazers to be left at home, but still expected the children to be in their shirt, ties and trousers (the school recently banned skirts, and does not allow shorts so all children are in trousers. All year round)

During lunch break, DD loosened her tie and untucked her shirt as she was so hot and sweaty… and then forgot to tuck in her shirt and redo tie before going back in.
She walked into English and straight away the teacher told her to tuck the shirt in and do tie, which she did.
Then whilst sat down she untucked the shirt again… she then got up for something and the teacher noticed the shirt untucked and as she had already been told once, she was given the detention.
DD tried to explain she was just so hot and sweaty, she felt she couldn’t concentrate and loosening the shirt helped.. she was then told off for answering back.

I do not agree with this detention at all. Other local schools have let kids go in wearing PE kits in this heat. The teacher was not wearing shirt and tie- she was wearing a floaty and cool summer dress.
I can’t think for the life of me how an untucked shirt would affect DD’s education, and why it’s more important to stick to a strict dress code rather than doing whatever is comfortable in this heat!!

I have never been in the position to disagree with the school, and not sure what would happen if I refuse to let DD go to this detention… also not sure if that’s setting the wrong message to DD, as I always encourage following school rules!!

Any advice? Is this a hill worth dying on? What would you do?

DD's old school was like this - they were expected to wear blazers in 30 degree heat. DS's, on the otherhand, allowed them to come in wearing their PE kit and have now issued a proper summer uniform which they are allowed to wear from the end of Easter term.

Like parents actually have a choice!!

I think your approach would be a lot more acceptable if you insist your daughter does the detention for being rude to the teacher, and attack the uniform situation as a different issue.

In most cases its parents that want the uniform.

Choice about what school your child ends up in.

i agree She wasnt answering back. She was challenging a stupid rule that could cause someone to lose their life, people have died from heat stroke.

She wasn’t “answering back” she was explaining.

Children should be able to question people, adult or not, because sometimes they are wrong!!!

In my work I have “answered back” to higher managers because I’ve disagreed because that’s what we should be able to do. Not just go along with stupid because “they said so”

Sounds like your daughter and the teacher might both have been a bit hot and bothered? Maybe call the HoY to check it was reasonable in the circumstances?

It gives her dd the correct message that some teachers are a*holes.

In the 70’s teachers rarely gave detentions because they could deal with pupils behaviour on the spot and knew when to loosen the rope.

I don’t like this concept of answering back. It basically means kids aren’t allowed to defend themselves. Do adults tell other adults not to answer back?

Rules are rules.

I’m not sure where other posters are based but in London today it is stifflingly hot. My neighbours just came back from Devon and said it was no way as hot as here. My house is like and oven even now and it’s 6.30pm. It is like a wall of heat. I’d be surprise if people aren’t being taken to hospital with heatstroke

Any teacher sticking to the uniform rules this rigidly, in this heat, is a grade A cunt.

No way would any of mine be doing detention for this

What? We have uniforms in Scotland too. Or at least all the schools where I live do. And they look exactly the same as the ones in England.

Explaining isn't answering back, it isn't rude either.

I'd be telling the school that she isn't doing a detention for getting too hot in unsuitable clothes on a hot day.

They may not have a choice! They don't decide on the policy. Luckily the secondary school my DH works at let him come on casual clothes today.

It gives the message that OP - and you - think some teachers are arseholes and that it’s okay to tell authority to F off.

I wouldn’t make her go. I’d probably give her a minor telling off about answering back and remind her some teachers are on a world class power trip and you sometimes have to suck it up. I’m lax on these things though because when I was her age I would have told the teacher to fuck off, especially in this heat.

I would definitely speak to the school about this, but I wouldn't go in all guns blazing. I'd ask their version of events, in case my DD was cheeky/rude. Answering back is fine, but how it's received is all in the delivery.....

Pretty sure this teacher would have had a choice to ignore the shirt not being tucked in during the lesson, during a heatwave.

Yes they do , I was accused by a Queen Bee Colleague of answering back .

Don't let facts get in way of them trying to be "Scotland is better at everything than the English".

back in the 1960s my DH was sick all over two teachers and several kids after being made to eat cheese at lunchtime by one of those teachers who wouldnt believe that he was allergic. DH is in his 70s and still laughs about it now.

It's too hot for a loose linen shirt and baggy cotton trousers, even now. I've just walked the dog and I feel like I'm melting.

Schools are ridiculous about uniform. They ought to have a different uniform for summer so that kids can be comfortable when it's hot.