Sports day!!!

[autumngirl714]

At my child’s school, Sports Day is split into two parts. Part 1 is great—an obstacle course where everyone takes part in their team colours, and each team earns points. But Part 2 is where I feel a bit torn. It’s competitive racing and field events, but only the best from each team colour get picked—fastest runners, longest jumpers, etc. The rest of the kids just sit and watch.

Every year, the same sporty kids get chosen, and my daughter —who tries really hard but isn’t the fastest—never gets picked. She's started to really dread Sports Day now and feels like no matter how much effort she puts in, it’s not enough. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

I do understand the argument that this gives athletic kids a chance to shine, and I don’t want to take that away—but I can’t help but feel it’s unfair and disheartening for the rest. Wouldn’t it be better to include more children in Part 2, or offer additional fun races so that everyone gets a turn?

Just been to sports day today where the same girl got picked to do every single competitive race meaning nobody else got chance. She gets picked every single year which is great for her, but not fair on others.

What do you think? Aibu?

I think sports day shouldn’t have to include everyone. It’s a uniquely cruel form of public humiliation that stays with people for years. But I do think if kids want to take part, yes let them, that’s the whole point of competitive races surely?

They include everyone in the first half. The second half is more serious competition for those who are genuinely good at athletics. I don’t see the problem. Everybody can’t be best at everything.

I understand what you're saying. I was never good at sports when I was younger and remember always loosing 🙈 But at the same time, children shouldn't be feeling excluded/not good enough. This practise of the same sporty children getting to do the races every year only feeds into the sense of "I'm not good enough", "I'm too slow", "I won't get picked".

If they have two days surely everyone is included?
I really don’t get the issue with the best performers being selected to do additional races on the second day.

yes, if we let them all do everyting no matter how good, how do you think our elite sports will look in 15 or 20 years?

All get a go at the first part, the best get a go at the 2nd. I think that is pretty good

How do they know who is the best if they hand pick before they’ve even run the races? Let anyone that wants to compete compete. Just don’t force those who really don’t.

In the 80s we used to have to walk to the local stadium - watch the sporty kids compete in sports day - walk back to school. Waste of time, no body watched or cared that much.
For me, the issue is being made to watch. Not unless everyone has to go watch the musical kids play, or go and see the arty kids art work.
i don’t know why they don’t just stick to day one/ or on day two offer alternative activity for the kids not in those races.

DD school would split them into bands A team were the strongest but if enough children wanted to take part, sometimes they had an E team event for rounders

In other words they managed to let everyone join in with everything and at the same time celebrate those who were extra special

the only sad things about the lower groups were that very few other schools bothered so inter-school opportunities were very limited for the weaker chikdren

edut to add occasionally chikdren would move between the groups depending on performance

So they do small obstacles to begin with, like throwing bean bags and jumping hoops, the second half is the bigger part of sports day where they get to do the races and more athletic stuff.

I just feel it should be more inclusive. I can see two sides, but I can't ignore how my child feels and the fact it's the same person getting picked for every single race every single year.

I remember my kids school sports day was run like this i had 1 sporty the other not.
some kids are just sporty not everything has to be fair it really is about everybody having fun and taking part, the same kids get picked because I assume they are just the fastest and will win for the "team" . I do think its up to parents to manage expectations.

Because they have PE lessons? The teachers will know the best sports people as they know the best mathematicians, scientists, artists etc. I have some sympathy with letting people compete if they want to, but it can make the day unwieldy because you start to need heats.

Some people are better at things than others. That's the reality. At least everyone is included for the first part and she's not being forced to participate in something she isn't good at. The second part is a competitive event, so of course they want the best people.

Not good enough at athletics, sure. What’s wrong with that? Everyone can’t be the best at everything, like I said.

You're all right, not everyone is sporty. I get that.
And whilst things aren't always fair, they could be fairer imo! Maybe introducing some mixed ability races, so to only "the best" get a turn!

They all get a turn in the morning. The afternoon is about competition between the best people. Why should that involve mixed ability races?

I don't think schools can win on this. If everyone is involved, you will have some dc apparently crippled by the anxiety of a public shaming if they are rubbish.

I like how my son's school do it. Couple of hours of events for everyone to earn points for their house. Then sprints for 30 mins for the fastest, having done heats behind closed doors in PE.

So if there was a spelling bee, then the best children should not be chosen? Or a maths competition? Stop protecting children to the level where they expect to be selected for everything, even if they are not good enough. How are they going to grow up in a competitive world with this sort of mollycoddling.

But you say they’ve done that - the first part of sports day is for everyone.

If you think it is unfair can you contact the school about it ?
How many more years has your dd left at her School if they take your suggestions on board she might be able to take part next year, but I do think you have to help her cope with not being picked it isnt a failing on her part she does need help dealing with that.

Mixed ability! FFS - this is a school sports day. What next? Everyone has to win a prize that takes part? Have a sports birthday party if you want this sort of event.

I don't think it matters how you do sports day. It's still a day to let the athletic shine at the expense of others. School would be torn to shreds if they had something similar for academics. Can you imagine the uproar if they got the parents in for an arithmetic challenge and put all the best kids in group A and all those that struggle with maths in group F and told them to compete against one another?

My DS is probably dyspraxic and really struggles with sports day for the opposite reason. He has to take part in everything and finds it humiliating. I'm not sure on the happy medium really.

She is taking part in the obstacle race bit, so she is included. How would she feel if she did compete against the fastest kids and came last? Or what about all the children (and their parents) who are glad they’re not having to compete in the more competitive races because they are less sporty than your daughter?

Everyone can’t be good at everything, and not everything has to be inclusive. I think you need to manage her expectations better.

This might get me some hate, but I’ll don my hard hat 🫣🫣

I think the set-up you describe is a great way to do it. The first part, everyone gets the chance to take part, be part of a team regardless of ability etc. It’s fun and no one feels pressure to perform because it’s a fun activity, and it also presents the opportunity for children to explore activities they might not ordinarily get the chance to do - and a talent may well be identified!
The second part I think is also important. Not everyone has great athletic ability, but those that do should absolutely get a chance to shine and take part in healthy competition.
I cannot stand the “everyone’s a winner” culture that seems to have grown over the past decade or so. I think it’s important for children to learn and understand that not everyone is amazing at everything and not everyone is going to win. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with allowing children to play to their strengths.
My DS is 8 years old. He is quite physically awkward, doesn’t have the best coordination and every time he runs, I’m on edge just waiting for him to face-plant 🫣🫣 So he doesn’t like to take part in the running races on sports day. But he shines on the defensive line of his school’s American Football team - he’ll smash through boys that are twice his size and has helped lead the team to victory multiple times because of it. I think it’s great that he knows where his strengths and weaknesses are, and he also has a clear sense of competition and sportsmanship - he knows his team aren’t going to win every time. And if they do lose? He’s the first one to analyse where he can make improvements to his play to try and secure a win next time.

I think on the face of it it sounds fair. I would much rather have had this experience than having to do competitive races where I always came last which was humiliating.
My children's school do similar with fun team games to begin and then ends with running races. The only difference is children volunteer themselves. Maybe suggest this idea to your children's school. However think about how your child (and maybe others) would cope if they keep entering and coming last against these sportier children who are still likely to enter. I have seen some children have a complete meltdown over this so it might be that the school is trying to avoid this while still keeping parents happy that want a competitive sports day (as lots complain about team sports day events).