Sports day!!!

[autumngirl714]

At my child’s school, Sports Day is split into two parts. Part 1 is great—an obstacle course where everyone takes part in their team colours, and each team earns points. But Part 2 is where I feel a bit torn. It’s competitive racing and field events, but only the best from each team colour get picked—fastest runners, longest jumpers, etc. The rest of the kids just sit and watch.

Every year, the same sporty kids get chosen, and my daughter —who tries really hard but isn’t the fastest—never gets picked. She's started to really dread Sports Day now and feels like no matter how much effort she puts in, it’s not enough. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

I do understand the argument that this gives athletic kids a chance to shine, and I don’t want to take that away—but I can’t help but feel it’s unfair and disheartening for the rest. Wouldn’t it be better to include more children in Part 2, or offer additional fun races so that everyone gets a turn?

Just been to sports day today where the same girl got picked to do every single competitive race meaning nobody else got chance. She gets picked every single year which is great for her, but not fair on others.

What do you think? Aibu?

I actually think my daughter is pretty good at sports! Unfortunately for her there's one very fast and talented girl in her year and colour. So she never gets a shot.

Maybe there's not a clear answer but what they're doing doesn't feel fair.

The same happens for academic children every single day - without parental presence, maybe, but lots of schools have prize days where parents come to see academic children get prizes. After primary parents aren’t usually invited to sports day anyway. Plus in the scenario at OP’s school they specifically aren’t having children compete if they are going to be humiliated.

I think that they have got the balance right.
we should celebrate sporting success as well as all of the rest of the curriculum.
if you had a really sporty child, you’d be upset that they didn’t get a chance to demonstrate their skills.

When your daughter gets to year 6, suggest that she does the first Key Stage 2 maths test but then sits out the second and the third. If they say no then just point them at their sports day rules.

Before anyone gets cross: it's just a joke. But also bear in mind that the key stage 2 tests have little bearing on the individual and a much greater bearing on the school. So it will make them think, at least.

Sorry I think you are being precious. Get your daughter to practice more so she gets better and can compete or just tell her you are proud of her whatever.

Our school do behind closed doors heats where the fastest in each colour group races against each of the other fastest, second fastest, third fastest against third etc.

Some kids are good at maths
Some are musicians
Some are sporty

Can we stop mollycoddling kids and telling them they are great at everything when LIFE IS NOT LIKE THAT.

My DD is “sick” for sports day. Made her do it once, she hated it, never intend to make her do it again. I might get heat for that, but there’s other ways to build resilience in kids aside from sports day. Maybe your DD could have a “dental appointment” when they do part 2? I understand she’s upset, but would she actually be happy if she was dead last after all the fastest kids?

I think the way your school does it sounds like a good compromise. There are loads of posts on MN ftom parents who want to keep their kids off because they don’t want to take part. Or worries that their kids will lose and be humiliated.
I have sporty kids. The PE teachers knew which kids were good from seeing them in lessons so mine would be picked for all the school comps. There were academic activities that mine weren’t involved in, however, as they weren’t the strongest there. And that was ok.

Absolutely this.
My DS would get himself into a mad panic if he was made to take part in an academic competition like a spelling bee or something because he knows that’s not remotely in the neighbourhood of his strengths.
But he gets picked for the starting line up pretty much every game on his American Football team because his coaches are well aware that he has no fear or hesitation when it comes to flattening the offensive line when they come at him 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂

It's one thing to protect your child from misery and humiliation
It's quite another to fake a medical appointment because she isn't the best in athletics.

In my DC primary sports day they had heats before so obviously the ones that were fastest were picked to run. They got points for their houses Then they had all the fun games for the rest of the afternoon to get more points for there houses.

My kids were sick for sports day too! I actually wouldn't mind sports day so much, if there were compulsory days for MFL, English, Maths, Science, Religious Studies, History etc, but there never are. I get your frustration, OP. On the face of it it seems as if the school is doing better than many, but just not quite getting that last little bit right.

It's one day a year. It can be turned into a lovely day for the child. We used to take our sons to the aquarium and have lunch out. They didn't pull down their teams; they didn't have people groaning at them for doing that; we didn't have to sit watching it all. Win win all round.

That's sad because it is a school sports day, not a county wide competition. I believe everyone should be included and not made to sit on the sidelines. Why don't they do different races for different abilities? That wouldn't be that complicated.

I have friends (we're all in our late 30s and early 40s now) who are literally just getting back into exercise and sports after decades of being put off due to bad experiences in PE lessons and sports days.

Sport can be inclusive whilst also celebrating those that excel. It doesn't have to be one or the other, it can do both.

Unfortunately for her there's one very fast and talented girl in her year and colour.

Are there no relays?

I swim and as a child there was a girl in my club in my age group who went on to swim in the Commonwealth games. I would have been the best in my event in lots of other clubs but not my club. It's just an unfortunate fact of life sometimes.

I actually think the school is trying really hard to be fair and inclusive (with the morning races) and also let the best athletes have a chance to shine in the afternoon. It's a shame you're not happy but the school is doing their best.

They do include everybody. The OP says there’s a first session where everyone takes part and then an opportunity for those who are the best in their teams in the second session.

Schools can’t win. Every year there are threads complaining that children are humiliated by having to do competitive sport in front of an audience.

Well said.

Why do schools even have to have sports days? All the sporty ones can do races in athletics clubs etc if they are that way inclined. As others have said there is no annual public humiliation event for those who aren't academic. Yes, I hated sports day and gained absolutely nothing from coming last every time other than being put off sports and not picking up exercise again until my 40s. My daughter is also not sporty but doesn't actually mind sports day - her school have the fun games and then the races, but the races are split by ability so it is not quite so humiliating. But if she hated it I would have no qualms whatsoever in keeping her off that day.

Nobody is being humiliated in this sports day. They shouldn’t be in any. And of course children who are less good at the academic side of school are put into situations where they are in direct competition with the most able. Every single day they deal with it.
It’s not as simple as it being different pupils doing well in sports day though - often academically able pupils are also good at one or more sport, art and music while those who struggle academically aren’t always good at sport or art or music. The distribution of talent is unfair…

As others have said there is no annual public humiliation event for those who aren't academic.

Isn’t there? Wouldn’t end of year exams be similar for children who aren’t academic?
Our exam results were regularly put on the wall, seems pretty humiliating for those who scored low.

Agree. And it’s not like they make all the kids compete in a spelling bee. It’s weird and humiliating and puts loads of people off movement for life

You hot the nail on the head in your OP - sporty kids should be given a chance.

It’s funny how I’ve never seen a thread that a child hasn’t been chosen for mathletics or the spelling bee competition.

Inclusion isn’t about giving everyone a chance. It’s about including people - which also means learning to cheer on your peers when they excel at something such as running.

my DS is a swimmer and there are league galas throughout the year. Teams get picked based on who is best in each age group and stroke. Not every swimmer is included in that event. But every swimmer gets to be included in a swim meet throughout the year - and race as individuals.

Some make county regional and national competitions - but as with any sport you need to be good enough.

I think the school sound like they have a good balance doing 2 parts.

Is the same girl the strongest runner? If so she deserves a chance to shine at something she’s good at. No one fields their second best athlete because everyone deserves a shot in competitive sports. They have something for everyone and then something for kids with athletic ability. I think that’s fair enough.

Sports Day should be inclusive and optional. If someone wants to take part, they should be able to.

It isn't the olympics. It's supposed to be a fun day to encourage sport and fitness yet many schools manage to do the opposite.