Sports day!!!

[autumngirl714]

At my child’s school, Sports Day is split into two parts. Part 1 is great—an obstacle course where everyone takes part in their team colours, and each team earns points. But Part 2 is where I feel a bit torn. It’s competitive racing and field events, but only the best from each team colour get picked—fastest runners, longest jumpers, etc. The rest of the kids just sit and watch.

Every year, the same sporty kids get chosen, and my daughter —who tries really hard but isn’t the fastest—never gets picked. She's started to really dread Sports Day now and feels like no matter how much effort she puts in, it’s not enough. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

I do understand the argument that this gives athletic kids a chance to shine, and I don’t want to take that away—but I can’t help but feel it’s unfair and disheartening for the rest. Wouldn’t it be better to include more children in Part 2, or offer additional fun races so that everyone gets a turn?

Just been to sports day today where the same girl got picked to do every single competitive race meaning nobody else got chance. She gets picked every single year which is great for her, but not fair on others.

What do you think? Aibu?

My son knows full well that that's life. He lives it every day due to his disability, not just once a year for sports day.

This is a good resolution I think!

But what about other things like music, singing, art? Should those who are good at these not be allowed their chance to shine cos some kids can’t sing/dance/paint/play a musical instrument?

Far better to teach your DC resilience and not everyone is good at everything. This forced non-competitiveness in sports is not a good thing IMHO.

@Youdontseehow our primary school don't have an arts day, a music day or a singing day sadly. I'm no aware of any primary schools in our area that do.

All concerts that I've been to they've all played musical instruments/sung together. No solos or anything like that.

The art club is one they choose to go to. Sports day is different as every HAS to do it. It's not an extra club after school, it's a big milestone at the end of the year. We all know this.

Yes you're right 🙄

While we're at it, why not revisit the Olympic rules and just let anyone run or jump etc to represent their country. Definitely don't send the best to represent your country.

So what if the same girl is chosen all the time? If she is the fastest then she should be chosen! It's like saying to Usain Bolt or Noah Lyle 'hey no you're not going to run as we want John Doe to run even if they will come last and get no points whatsoever'.

Competitive sports are just that. Competitions. The best should get chosen.

And as others have said, tell your child that she has many other talents and not everyone can be good at everything so not to take it to heart. Also as she should want her school team/house to win, the best player should go forward.

Sports day is once a year. Think about the child who is a superstar athlete who feels they fail at maths every day. I am a teacher and absolutely feel that we should celebrate children with athletic abilities. At my school we have races that the children can opt
to run in and then we have a team relay race where house captains choose the team. I feel it’s fair, but just like some children already know they’re not good at maths, others know they’re not good at running. And that is ok! Self-awareness is a huge value for our children. All of our races allow children to earn points for their team. Imagine knowing you were the best at maths in the year group but you weren’t allowed to showcase it in case other children felt left out.

As a parent of a child who doesn’t excel academically, at school, and is often excluded from a variety of things as a result. BUT does excel at sports, I’d have to hard disagree with this. Sorry.
For her, sports day is the one day of the year she really gets to shine. And when she was younger, and sports day was completely non-competitive, it was a complete drain.

Some kids are good at some stuff, others are good at other stuff. They all have to be there, attend and accept that everyone is good at different things.
is it sometimes a bit crap for them, yes. Unfortunately.

Again we're assuming that none sporty children are academic and vice versa.
What about the child who coasts along and wants to try all the things but doesn't particularly shine at anything so doesn't get picked for anything?

We are generally an inactive/unsporty nation so something does have to change.
Sporty kids doing sport and making other kids watch certainly isn’t it. And it doesn’t build resilience, it creates apathy.
I do understand that this school does do a fun day too, but a lot don’t.
The only good thing that DDs primary did was scrap sports day in the 80s (the head didn’t believe in competition) and they had a sports week, where they did lots of activities, tried new things, there was no competition (think archery or badmington, yoga). Although I think they should have included a silly sports day back in.

Yep.

It will be a waste of time for my son who can't run due to his disability.

So he just isn't going.

Very true. It's up to us as parents to build up their strengths rather than focus on their weaknesses. I was having a conversation with my daughters friends Dad the other day and it really made me think of this, he said 'she isn't great at school work, but with her personality I have absolutely no doubt she will do brilliantly in life', and I loved that he was focusing on her positives.

And things aren't always what they seem. My oldest is once of those seen as a 'good all-rounder', does well as academics, sport, music, makes friends easily. But underneath all that there is a crippling anxiety, regular meltdowns, awaiting a ? ND diagnosis and some health challenges. Another parent said to me once 'I wish my daughter was just like yours', and I'm thinking 'you really really dont'. As the saying goes 'be careful what you wish for'!

As I said, my school have races that children can opt in or out of if they want to and races where they are picked for being the fastest. I am under no assumption that acamdemia and sports can’t correlate. However, if a child can get an award for being fantastic in English or maths then why not allow them to shine on sports day? No one questions spellings tests or times tables tests which happen all the time. But one day where children who excel in sport seems to cause major problems. Learning to lose graciously is also a life skill. As is sportsmanship and teamwork.

*academia

This with bells on.

Children absolutely have to learn that they can’t be good at everything, they can’t win at everything and they won’t always be picked for everything…..and that’s ok. It’s a part of life.
My son spends every achievement assembly at school sitting in his seat, watching all the other kids get their awards for academic stuff, attendance, behaviour awards, non-sports extracurriculars etc and he doesn’t.
So when he gets to stand up on that stage at the end of football season and raise the trophy above his head, with the cheerleading squad shaking pom-poms around him, beaming from ear to ear because he and his team earned it, it’s the highlight of his year.
Are there kids in the audience who attended football tryouts and didn’t get picked for the varsity team? Of course. Are those kids disappointed that they weren’t a part of the team’s success? Probably.
But that doesn’t mean the boys who did make the team shouldn’t be allowed to have their big, bells and whistles celebration when they win.
We should all be celebrating our children’s strengths, whatever they might be. And it’s also ok for us to celebrate the children who have strengths different to our own kids - like at sports day.
Our last achievement assembly, it was very apparent that lots of the children getting awards didn’t have a parent in attendance - I couldn’t bare the thought of them not having one of their adults cheering for them in the audience, so I made sure to clap and cheer for every single one of them, even when my child wasn’t getting an award.

One day isn't dedicated to Maths or English with the whole school watching on though so it's hardly the same thing. Sporty kids also get to 'shine' in PE which is every week so it's more than just one day.

I don't think I've said at any point that sporty children shouldn't have their chance to shine. It says that in my OP.
I have pointed out though that, for me, sports day should be inclusive. There's definitely things the school can do so that children who aren't the best can still take part to improve their own confidence. Sitting in the sidelines every year, watching the same people can't be good for a children's mental health. Particularly when it doesn't NEED to be that way.

I don't see that my primary school only tests the clever students and makes the less-clever students sit and watch them can't praised and cheered for it 🤷🏼‍♀️

At my kid's primary, everyone who wants to join in can.

They have different groups doing the same races and try their best to put kid's with the same level of ability together so everyone has more of a chance.
The best runners get to compete against each other and the less athletic also get a chance to win.

Anyone who is really stressed about it or doesn't want to race, gives out the 1st, 2nd, 3rd stickers and helps set up the races.

The second half of your sports day sounds boring for the ones not competing.

But the first part of your school’s sports day was inclusive for everyone?
Everyone got to take part in team activities.

And once that was done, the kids with the best athletic ability got to take part in the competitive stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Sounds like the best of both worlds to me.

My son's is in a few weeks and we're going for a lovely treat day out instead. Though his school does a traditional one only so it's all about running.

school sport day growing up: primary didn't have such a thing, we had PE twice a week at least and it included physical TESTING push ups/pull ups/timed races and we were graded. secondary similar but those who did well in class were put forward for local interschool races/city/ etc. asked to try out for teams. we had a huge fun selection of sports on offer and two proper PE teachers one for the girls and one for the boys. we did archery, ringette, cheer, gymnastics and dancing tons of really fun stuff.
my trio; primary sports day was an outdoor activity day with "feel good" activities and extremely little competition, really pathetic for your sports superstars who needed to excel privately because the school did sfa to encourage sporty types.
the secondary ran sports days in conjunction with PE and time of year for track events.

I hate hate hate with a passion the feel good type sports days as the only opportunity for the super sporty ones.

The first part of sports day was the children throwing bean bags and jumping into hoops.
Most of the kids were geated up for the races which went on for 90 minutes compared to the first obstacle round.
It's not the same.

So no I don't really think it's that inclusive. On paper it sounds it, but in person it wasn't.

I know a few have raised it with the head teacher following the event anyway, so let's hope a few changes can be made next year so all of the children get a turn.

The school do plenty of extra curriculum sports where those passionate about it get to compete etc. For me, sports day should be a big celebration for everyone. That's what the other local schools do.

90 minutes of just sitting there? How boring. I agree with you, OP.

I love the sound of your school's approach; particularly that anyone stressed about it can have an alternative role.

My child is the slowest child in their year. It's evident at break times. They're very self-aware, although the fact that they're slow has been pointed out by their peers. They're okay with being last on the playground, but come Sports Day they would much prefer to be sat cheering on their classmates...

The whole 'someone has to be last' mantra feels really cruel when it's forced participation, and when that child knows they're the slowest. When it's forced participation, and they know they're the slowest, their involvement is really only to make their peers feel better. That public pitting against each other doesn't happen in the academic elements of school; our school certainly doesn't publish everyone's phonics tests so they can see who is last...

Competitive sports days should be allowed to take place; for those who want to engage.

A PP mentioned about a sports week where their school tried other sports - brilliant. Sports Days that focus on good sportsmanship too also seem brilliant; although, as well as how support their peers and how to lose graciously, it would be great to see children being taught how to win graciously as well.

I agree with original poster. My son loves sports but isn’t terribly good and never gets picked and upsets him every time. The kids who are good at sports / football get extra training practice after school and lots of matches. He gets no extra sports.

on the other hand, he’s good at Maths, but here, as he’s good, he gets no extra help and the ones who aren’t good at maths get so many extra sessions to bring them up to the same standard.

Doesn’t seem fair really that we’re encouraged in one area and not the other….

You were the best at 100m and also 1500m? And at other athletic type events?