Sports day!!!

[autumngirl714]

At my child’s school, Sports Day is split into two parts. Part 1 is great—an obstacle course where everyone takes part in their team colours, and each team earns points. But Part 2 is where I feel a bit torn. It’s competitive racing and field events, but only the best from each team colour get picked—fastest runners, longest jumpers, etc. The rest of the kids just sit and watch.

Every year, the same sporty kids get chosen, and my daughter —who tries really hard but isn’t the fastest—never gets picked. She's started to really dread Sports Day now and feels like no matter how much effort she puts in, it’s not enough. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

I do understand the argument that this gives athletic kids a chance to shine, and I don’t want to take that away—but I can’t help but feel it’s unfair and disheartening for the rest. Wouldn’t it be better to include more children in Part 2, or offer additional fun races so that everyone gets a turn?

Just been to sports day today where the same girl got picked to do every single competitive race meaning nobody else got chance. She gets picked every single year which is great for her, but not fair on others.

What do you think? Aibu?

But if this girl is faster and better at running then she is obviously going to be picked to run its a better chance of a group win, your dd might not win and let "the team down " then she would feel rubbish for not winning.

The less academic children do not have an audience or an entire day to suffer through. The non sporty children do have to do PE every week. So that is exactly equivalent. There is never a 'maths day' or 'english day' where parents and the entire school watch them fail to do timestables or spell correctly. This particular sports day may not be an exercise in humiliation, but most of them are, and I wsa questioning the point of them in general. There is an enormous choice of outside school voluntary opportunities for competition for those who want to do it. There is no need for schools to hold them.
Agreed that it may be the same children who are good at academics and at sports. There is still no need for any public compulsory competition for any of it.

Aww I don't think I'm being precious, but thanks for that 🙄

It's sad to hear how many other view sports day as being humiliating. Maybe this culture of racing and being competitive and cheering on "the best" isn't all that helpful after all! Particularly installing it in children's minds from the reception age.
This is exactly the I initial point I was making.

I'm all for celebrating sport and keeping fit and healthy. But I don't like the current way my school does it. Perhaps it doesn't convey on message and if you had a child getting upset like mine it might make more or perhaps not. But after reading the replies here I am finding myself edging more on the side of my OP being reasonable! Just my opinion!

OP, what about keeping your daughter home on the second day? I can't see the use of her going if all it does is make her more disheartened every year this happens. She might lose her interest in sport altogether if this keeps going.

I understand what you mean, but unfortunately kids aren't good at everything and I think that the current trend to include everyone in everything and celebrate all efforts can sometimes be counter-productive. There seems to be a far greater lack of resilience in young people at the moment. If you haven't had to suck it up and accept that you are just crap at certain things at a younger age, it probably gets harder to do so once you get to your teens with normal hormones and anxieties running rife anyway.

We're a non-sporty family and I always hated sports day as a child. DS has his next week (in reception) and I don't anticipate him winning anything! But that's fine. There's always a lot of talk around non-sporty children feeling disheartened or ashamed or inadequate on sports day, but people forget that that is the year-round experience of many children who aren't academic, but may excel at sports. I never hear the parents of those children complaining that the spelling test should also contain some easy words because it's upsetting their child. It's hard to see our DC struggling or sad, but unfortunately it's part of life!

I agree.

Let's help build resilience and give people something to shine at who are not academic, all in one day.

At ours everyone was included if they wanted to be. And those that won the beats then went to the finals (which obvs was just the sporty kids). But it meant infants and junior sports day on different days so potentially annoying if you had kids in both!

Won the heats*

That's assuming that the sporty children aren't academic.

Some children are sporty and academic
Some children aren't sporty or academic

I won't be sending my son in on sports day. He isn't sporty or academic.

I guess this was the point I was trying to make just less articulately 🫣😂

Children who aren’t top of the game academically feel that every day at school. I know there aren’t an audience of parents watching, but they still feel inadequate next to their more academically able peers or even siblings - I know my son does. His sister is flying ahead academically, and I know he struggles with that.
But him being able to shine in sports makes up for it. We’ve always tried to instill into our children that not everyone is a winner every time. And I absolutely think you’re right that them learning that also makes them more resilient in the long run.

From your later post it sounds like the second part is basically one person from each colour - so it does seem a little overly exclusive (also surely quite boring depending on how many people are left out?). I can see why they do it but it does mean that there's some artificial exclusion that isn't based on ability (if I'm reading this right - that this is the fastest person from each colour competing, not eg the four fastest people overall whatever their class).

@itsgettingweird were talking about sports day... not regional or nation competitions.

But she isn't good enough. Only one child will be picked as Head girl only one will be picked to play the lead in the school play/ musical. Only one will get the history/ geography/ science prize. That's how life works. The best get chosen to do a particular thing they are the best at.

In Wales, everyone does watch the music and drama kids compete, with art and writing competitions celebrated from the stage. School Eisteddfod. It’s great.

How is it humiliating, as in this case, to have everyone included in low stakes competition in the morning and just the most athletic in high stakes competition in the afternoon? I hated sport in school, PE lessons put me off physical activity for decades, but Sports Day was ok.

Everyone does take part in this particular sports day! One set of competitions for everyone, one for the most athletic.

In the end being good at academics means good exam results and more chances. As you say this one doesn’t humane anyone. Many other schools have similar arrangements. By secondary parents don’t go.

I think this seems unfair, it should be that the 2nd more competitive half is optional so that anyone who wants to take part can. Then noone is forced to take part if they don't want to, but noone is left out and feeling not good enough when not selected to take part.

The reality is that your child isn’t the fastest and therefore they should be cheering along their house in part 2. Is there something they they are rather good at as I suspect there’s a load of kids who don’t have the same skill. It’s life. It’s actually really important to recognise that you can’t be included in everything but you can show sportsmanship behaviour and still have fun with the collective cheering and screaming!

It sounds odd to me that the same person would be best at all different kinds of races. What races do they have that this same girl is chosen for all of them, @autumngirl714 ?

You don’t think they’ll feel not good enough when they come last? The school knows who the fastest runners are. So do the pupils in my experience.

So she is not the best, so that is why she is not chosen. Or should the better runner not take part because you and your daughter think she should do it instead? I am sure your daughter is better at some things than the other girl. But in the general scheme of things, why not encourage your daughter to be positive and support the other girl. Who is running for their house? You are encouraging her to be jealous which is not going to be a good lesson for her to learn from you.

DC’s school do this really well. Sports Day is split into two separate events, the athletics championships, which is at the local athletics track, with the usual sort of events, 100m, 800m, hurdles, long jump, shot etc, parents welcome to attend. The second event is at school, and fun stuff like rounders, quidditch, obstacle course etc, no parents allowed. The kids can choose which they want to do, so the sporty kids can fill their boots in competitive events, with a crowd watching. The less sporty kids still have a fun day, outside with their mates, but without the pressure.

But someone will always come last... the kid that comes last out of all the top selected kids won't feel great about it. That's unfortunately part of it, but in primary school it seems to send out the wrong message to kids about participating in sport and exercise to just cherry pick a few really athletic kids to race.
It would be different if they were forced into participating and then came last- this is different.