Sports day!!!

[autumngirl714]

At my child’s school, Sports Day is split into two parts. Part 1 is great—an obstacle course where everyone takes part in their team colours, and each team earns points. But Part 2 is where I feel a bit torn. It’s competitive racing and field events, but only the best from each team colour get picked—fastest runners, longest jumpers, etc. The rest of the kids just sit and watch.

Every year, the same sporty kids get chosen, and my daughter —who tries really hard but isn’t the fastest—never gets picked. She's started to really dread Sports Day now and feels like no matter how much effort she puts in, it’s not enough. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

I do understand the argument that this gives athletic kids a chance to shine, and I don’t want to take that away—but I can’t help but feel it’s unfair and disheartening for the rest. Wouldn’t it be better to include more children in Part 2, or offer additional fun races so that everyone gets a turn?

Just been to sports day today where the same girl got picked to do every single competitive race meaning nobody else got chance. She gets picked every single year which is great for her, but not fair on others.

What do you think? Aibu?

You don't want her to feel excluded or humiliated, but if she is racing against much sportier child and then she comes last she's going to feel humiliated.
Schools can't win 🤷🏻‍♀️ all kids are included in the first part so she is participating. You don't have to be good at everything and do the same as everyone else. It's a life lesson

It sounds fine to me. Everyone can have a go in part one and part two is more competitive. At DD’s school those who were not competing watched, cheered ,
painted their faces in the house colour and made posters hoping that their house would win. Nobody was humiliated - except perhaps the teachers in the lower 6 vs teachers relay race!
supporting those students who do well at athletics is important. Just as we support those who are talented at music or perform in the school play- it’s about community.

But in sport at grass root level you start competing.

You do in school too - you get grated on your ability.

It’s much better to teach resilience and teach children to recognise their own strength and accept their weaknesses.

We have a generation of people who are surprised someone has emotion to words due to social media and we risk another generation of kids who all think they are the best at everything.

FWIW my ds always asked to help at sports day. He’s highly intelligent but not academic. Now works as a software developer and is currently in his way home from competing for Team GB and is a multiple British champion. Life isn't black and white.

sports day is based on one area of sports - athletics. It shouldn’t be held in high regard for the child’s future achievements or abilities. It should be used to teach skills such as competing, taking part and cheering on your team.

It’s one day a year.

I remember being excluded because someone moaned that I won all the races and it wasn't fair on the others. I had to sit out sports day to appease the other parents, that was also pretty rubbish, to be punished for being 'too good'.

But they could do some fun events on the other side of the field for those not doing the competitive races maybe. Next year, maybe offer to organise something with some other parents - at our sports day parents get involved with setting up events, holding rope, winner stickers etc.

Not really. I won all my races at school, my mum won all the races at school, my daughters both win all their running races - so I think it must be something genetic! If you are good at running you will win running races

But they (and I) are no good at ball sports like football, hockey etc, and other children are brilliant are these. Everyone has different talents

I had my DCs sports day last week. All if the kids take part, regardless of ability. There are a few non sporty kids just having a ball, but the majority if the non sporty kids really weren't enjoying themselves. Several stopped and cried before finishing a race. There were a few heavier kids really struggling, one crying as they ran along. I think your schools way sounds good.

It 100% should be more inclusive! That sounds horrible! Mind blowing even! 🤯 i cant imagine a school around here doing that? How do they know who the most athletic children are if the others aren’t given a chance to shine?

To add - one of my DC is sporty in that way - won't 2 races, 2nd in 2. The other came last I think in each race but is much better at tennis and cricket.

I hated sports day, I was literally the chubby loser who came last. The week before sports day I cried myself to sleep, begged not to go to school. My mom said, some things in life are hard, some things are painful, you can't avoid them all, you have to work through them. She attended every sports day, knowing that I would never win, but she clapped and cheered the winners because they deserved it, and she clapped and cheered the loser (me) because even though I limped over the line ages after everyone else, because she was proud that I tried my best.
Your daughter's school lets the pupils all enjoy the day for part 1 then let's the classmates cheer for best of the best in part 2. The kids aren't 'just watching ' they are actively supporting their team. In a game of football there are 22 players on the pitch and thousands cheering them on. I am sure some of them would love to be out there playing for the team, but they serve a purpose by being a supporter.

Everyone knows who the more athletic students are - from PE lessons, or school teams or external activities. Part one is inclusive.
Inevitably it’s the same students taking part in part two, but no doubt also the same students who have the lead in the school play, solos in the orchestra etc.
Should we give a solo to someone who can’t sing just to make it more inclusive?

YANBU

All those that wish to race should race, it’s not hard 🤷‍♀️

Our sports day has the obstacle course bit, then everybody does the races as well. 1st 2nd and 3rd places get a sticker each, everybody gets clapped for competing. Job done.

You’re right, they’re not being inclusive at all.

Unpopular opinion. As adults, some times we win, others we loose. By avoiding exposing our kids to this as children we are not building resilience and then wonder why we have a generation of young adults who can't cope and give in at the first hurdle (no pun intended) when they can't do something!. I do believe that sports days should remain traditional, and we shouldn't be protecting kids from not coming 1st 2nd or 2rd. What we should be doing is teaching them to take part and try their best and be happy for those that do win. Each child will have their own skills which are different and it would be better to focus on giving everyone an opportunity to show off those skills ie...I didn't win a sports day because Im not the best at sports, but I did do well at forest schools, or art or whatever it is that they are good at. We won't be there to hold their little hands when they don't win as adults, we need to teach them how to deal with this!

My son will never win a running race due to his disability. Traditional sports day is all about running which automatically excludes him unless I allow him to come last by a long way every single time which isn't happening.

My opinion, I go to sports day to watch my kid mainly if it’s like hours on end of everyone else’s kid at the end school needs to re think it, I mean if it’s literally a couple of races of the kids who can actually run very well then il be cheering them on like my own but I ain’t down for hours of it 😂

I had to do a race and a relay in my sports day in secondary school, I was about 13 and I was slow. I was left behind by a lot during the running and it left me feeling extremely insecure and anxious all the time afterwards.

I don’t think sports day should include everyone in everything and I don’t think it should be mandatory that kids participate.

It's fair to have some competitive sport. In other parts of the school day, the academic ones will always come top in spelling tests, mental maths tests etc. The arty ones always get their pictures displayed on the wall boards. The musical ones get to learn an instrument and play in assemblies etc.

Then when it's the sporty ones chance to shine, they get told it needs to be inclusive and everyone gets to have a go.

I think school have done it fairly with a fun day for everyone and then competitive races for the sporty ones to have a day in the limelight.

Just like a lot of the sporty children have to feel in class every other day of the year. It wasn't fair when they just did this and then they introduced the team element and it wasn't fair and then they do both and people still arnt happy.
Our school allows them to put their hand up if they want to do the competitive races and I love them. Give my LO a massive boost of confidence that she doesn't get elsewhere. Also earns her the respect of others who look down on her at other times

That's assuming that sporty children, academic children etc are all different children.

They generally practice during sports day for a few weeks before to review ability. Then they get grouped by ability so it's less obvious who is faster or slower to some extent and there isn't such a gap between first and last - so the 5 fastest girls in each class run against each other, then the middle 5 against each other and the slower 5.

My son is one of the kids that's gets picked as he's good at all sports.
On the other hand he despises school assemblies and performances so much that he shakes and almost throws up with nerves! He is not the best academically so sports is his time to shine. He wishes he could perform and found fractions easy!
Most kids are good at something and not everything - life lessons can start young.

It's interesting how most of you are comparing academic children to sporty. Are we just assuming all non sporty kids are smart? And vice versa? What about the children who float in the middle who seemingly get no chance to "shine".

I think it's a great teaching experience.
My 4yr old has literally been upset today over the teddy bear race. She doesn't want to do it because she isn't good at it. She is 4 so very much still learning. She said she wants to do the other races just not that one. I told her about my sports days. I also said not everyone can win but someone always comes last. The Teddy bear race if she's comes last means that someone who isn't good at other races and maybe came last in another race will not come last and make them happy. She must try and try hard but if she comes last then it means someone else gets a chance at not being last. I never ever won at sports day. Almost always last but I loved sports. I was in the football team, netball team and rounders team. I even played in the hockey team once because they were a player short. Running races was not my thing but I did it anyway. They at least include everyone for the first part and make it a joint team effort. For the second part they should get behind their team racer and cheer them on. My 4yr old will learn the sportsmanship of taking part and losing but also taking part and winning just as I did and just as her elder brother now 17 did. He also lost every sports day came last in every race often by a few minutes he however loves playing sports, was in the hockey team and football team. His football coach is wanting his to do Mencap England trials next year. Can he win a race, can he heck, but can he go do his best and be happy for the winner, yes he can. Can they be happy for him doing so well with his football even when they can't, yes they can. Teach them, encourage them and build their confidence in the things they can do. Your child will succeed and do well in other things giving friends their chances to shine, while their friends give them their chance to shine.

Well, yes. I didn't list every skillset that a child might have. Of course some are creative, or great at problem-solving, or have excellent interpersonal skills, or the makings of great leaders, or any number of wonderful abilities. My point was that every child doesn't get to shine every day, and some of them get to shine only very rarely. There are probably also a handful of all-rounders who do get to shine most of the time. Again, that's life.

It always seems to go this way on these threads. Apparently it all magically works out to be different children who are academic, sporty, arty etc not some who are all of those things and some who are either middle of the road or have SEN, disabilities etc so might struggle with most or all things.

Our school do something similar.
first half everyone does activities for team points. Second half they do races - but every child will run. They are grouped with kids that are similar times to them, (so thre fast ones don’t outrun everyone).