Is this a crazy idea?

[MattHandjob]

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

Your kids would get taken away from you for neglect.

why would you even question if your kids can live in a flat in their own? it’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard and can’t believe anyone with any common sense would need to ask this or even propose this! Does your DH like your children?

surely it doesn’t matter re mortgages as you keep paying off your house at the moment and then use the equity from that to buy your downsized properties later.

You definitely DO NOT want a rental property as a next door flat!! Bin that idea off straight away.

All for downsizing and buying two properties, but unless you buy them a house each you aren't really helping them get on the property ladder as it won't belong to them, they may not want to live together or they may be fucking awful tenants, they may not get on when older, one may resent the other, you've got to think about when they have their own relationships own lives, most siblings go in completely different directions at different times.

Downsize yourselves, release the equity and help get them on the property ladder properly when the time comes!

This is one of those most insane things I have ever read on this forum and that says a lot. No it is not ok to allow your children to live alone. I cannot believe you even had to ask this. FFS

You're crazy if you think this is a good idea.

Insane idea. If he wants to downsize when the youngest is 18 and get them both started on the properly ladder, that might work. Not sure how he thinks social services wouldn’t intervene with 2 minors living alone [come on, you know what he really wants is for you to move in with them and to have his own private bachelor pad… it’s a form of trial separation that he duping you into.]

But for now you’d have 2nd home/higher stamp duty; you’d have higher 2nd home council tax; you’d also have - as you’d be ‘landlords’ - considerable safety and building regs compliance obligations - so, financially, it’s a bloody stupid idea.

Just why?!

Exactly, I’d think he’s heading towards wanting a separation!

I think the heat has gotten to him, and you for even asking if he’s bu.

Ridiculous idea, not to mention neglectful of the children. School would be highly likely to report you to social services when that came out, which it would.

If you want a buy to let property then get one, but stay in your freehold house (WITH THE KIDS). Do not live next door to your tenants. That would be madness
You need a certain amount of distance between you and them or you'll be driven nuts.

Surely this is a joke.

I'm trying really hard to imagine how OP's husband thinks this would go - 'off you go small people, there's the kitchen and don't forget to lock the door before you go to bed'.

I assumed, as pps have that he was suggesting you live in one with the children and he has the other.

TBH if my husband had seriously suggested the children live alone in the flat next door at that age he'd very soon be the one living on his own. Divorce would be my first thought. I certainly wouldn't be asking mn if it's a crazy idea.

Aside from the minors issue, this would be a much more costly way to live.

Two separate conveyancing fees, two surveys, two lots of service charges, insurance, gas and electric standing charges, water rates etc.

It doesn't make sense.

Wtf? He sounds insane and you’re no better for having to ask. Awful and upsetting to read.

Surely you can't be serious?

lol I’ve heard it all, even if you did take him seriously guarantee a few weeks down the line when you discover you can’t leave kids this age in a flat by themselves and they want their mum at night, he’s in one flat by himself playing a PlayStation eating takeaways and your in the flat next door, cramped and entertaining 2 kids. I’d say nice try and jog on. I think this is a joke post judging by the username but nice try.

He's a neglectful idiot and so are you for not shutting this down immediately. You want your 11 and 9 year old to live separately to you. That's abuse. I don't leave my 9 year old alone for longer than 5 minutes (go to the car, bins etc). You'd leave them sleeping alone at night? Give them a set of keys? Would you go round and cook for them? Watch TV together? Play games? Do their homework with them? So many questions, that don't really need answers, because even leaving them alone for one night is crazy. You're both horrible people.

I call this a wind up.

Yep!

Not the same at all. The kids were living with the parents. These parents are talking about basically abandoning their kids. Reminds me of the 'Good American Family' drama.

No, they are too young for this set up. In 10 years, maybe so.

The actual fuck? Yeah OP, they'll be fine living on their own. Social Services will be fully supportive.

If this is genuine (I bloody hope not) you really need to give your heads a shake.

So he doesn’t want to live with your kids? How bizarre! From a safeguarding perspective this is not ok and would likely get flagged by authorities

Better still, send them to a developing country, where they will be allowed to work. You could sell them as bonded labour in certain countries. You could then invest the income for a bungalow for your later years.

I think the real plan is that you and the children live in one flat, and husband lives in bachelor pad next door

Nope from me

@MattHandjob Yes, it's a crazy idea. Your children are 11 and 9, not 20 and 18. Why have them at all if you don't want to take care of them to adulthood? There's actually no legal minimum age in the UK for leaving children home alone, but you could be charged with neglect if anything happened to them. You're proposing to have them sleep in a separate property next door (I presume they'd have meals and stay with you during the day?). What if a fire started? What if somebody broke into their flat e.g. a burglar, a rapist or a murderer? If your children came to harm your living arrangements would come to light and you could be in a lot of trouble (not just legal trouble or the opprobrium you would face from society, but you could lose your children too).
I'm honestly amazed you haven't told your DH he's nuts for even thinking this would be acceptable.