Is this a crazy idea?

[MattHandjob]

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

I think i would call social services if I knew two young children were living in a property alone! I understand why you might buy two flats and have one flat with e.g. an office, playroom, with everyone living in the other flat. But the idea that the children live alone is clearly BONKERS. Do you really need other people to tell you this? Your husband needs to get his head checked.

Strange proposition. It reads that really he wants to be living as a bachelor in one flat and you and kids living in the other, as it is evident that it would be unsafe to leave children unsupervised every night. So you would end up staying over there.

It also means having two sets of council tax, two sets of management fees (lift maintenance, etc.) and frankly not appealing at all.

This is the only logical explanation!

How big is the second flat ? Maybe they could sub let a room to a responsible and caring adult & tell you both to jog on.

In the U.K. children can leave home at 16 without parental consent
Parents have responsibilities until the child is 18 though

Wonders do you read the post you responded to.

Not legal to set up minor children to live independently.
If you lived with them and he lived alone, that would be fine and sounds like it might be preferable.

Your husband is a moron. This idea should never even be entertained.

I would question my marriage after hearing such an idiotic idea.

He's insane.
I would quite like to buy two small flats (or two small semi detached houses) that are right next to each other, DH could live in one and I could live in the other, and the kids could go between the two. A shared kids bedroom in each flat/house and the two of them could be separate or together. Would give DH and I space from each other and the kids. (One of them is ND, the other we think NT but really hard work.)

This has to be a joke. Nobody could think that was reasonable and no partner would think it’s possible. This is remove your children by Social services territory. I’ve never heard such neglect posted for responses. Hand yourselves in to the unfit parenting club now and let your children thrive with parents who will love and care for them.

Omg are you serious? Why on earth did you both have children?

Does he have form for completely mental ideas? Because if not, this is so insane I would consider it a sign of cognitive decline.

In short no, you can't leave your young children living in a flat alone, even if you are next door. Apart from being illegal and bloody dangerous, the emotional impact it would have on your little children to not be allowed to live with adults would be vast.

Is your husband really controlling and overbearing? Does he grind you down until he gets his own way? I'm trying to get a handle on how this palpably insane suggestion ever got more than 8 seconds of airtime before being dismissed.

@MattHandjob I only read your first post. But surely you both must know that you can’t have an 11 year old and a 9 year old living on their own… that is insane. And why would you want to do that? It goes só quickly and they will be out of the house soon enough. To me that’s very dysfunctional.

Mortgages are possible at almost any age. My friends were offered one in their 70s!

That sounds the most likely thing. And why would he want that, ask yourself.

I think child safeguarding might have something to say about your young children living on their own!!! Revisit when they are both 16+ at least!

The craziest bit is that you didn’t immediately say “what the fuck are you on, of course our children cannot live alone, are you having a psychotic break from reality????” and got as far as asking mumsnet if there was anything else to “take into consideration” !

Would it not be better to sell your home when the children are adults (finished uni/settled in a job/whatever) and buy a 2 bed flat at that point? Then with the rest of the money gift each child a deposit for the own home? This helps them onto the property ladder and slows the cycle of endless renting for your adult DC. Why is he so keen to be a landlord?

I've been wondering whether I should stop reading MN and actually start living my life a bit more.

Thanks MattHandJob, you've done me a favour.

This has to be a troll? Surely no right minded individual or couple would suggest a separate dwelling for children? If the school or similar heard of this, you would be immediately on a safeguarding path, as it would be seen as inadequate supervision under child welfare laws.

Financially it’s also bonkers; Stamp Duty Land Tax at 3% surcharge for second property/flat; CGT on future sale of second flat (e.g. if you put one flat in child’s name) as it’s not your primary residence; two lots of council tax.

Could your husband not consider intergenerational-style layouts in a NEW freehold property, thereby making provision for your children to have a place to live in the future?

That’s what I was thinking. Because it’s such a crazy idea that surely no sane person would suggest it unless they were trying to achieve a completely different objective and they were just testing it out…

You would have to knock them through or you own two seperate properties, which has tax implications, and you'd have two lots of council tax.

It is a silly idea with kids the age yours are - if they were older and depending on where, the lay out of the flats, etc, it might not be totally bonkers, but right now, it is.

Do you mean like now?! Or when your dc are old enough to live alone (youngest 16 minimum)? Because one is utterly batshit, and I don't think I'd go for the other one either.

I would not even have to think, it would be my first call and my second call would be the local police station to report it, request a welfare check and have a record number of the incident.

I don’t know who is worse, him for suggesting it or you for considering/debating it. Nothing about it makes sense (economically or morally).