Is this a crazy idea?

[MattHandjob]

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

This is genuinely the most batshit thing I’ve seen on the internet!

This has to be the most stupid MN post of the day! Utterly ridiculous

This can’t be serious or legal

Obviously bonkers! Impractical and dangerous. Is there a reason he doesn't want to live with his kids?

I'm not even sure why you need to ask the Internet this. You can't let a 9 and 11 year old live alone. This can't be a genuine thread surely

I've only heard of this being done once. I was in Uruguay about 20 years ago and a friend told me about their deceased neighbour, a German man and his wife, who arrived just after WW2. They build a house for themselves and another house at the bottom of the garden for their many children. So there is your precedence...

i'll take things that aren't real for £100 bob

Shocking!!! A house would increase in value quicker than 2 flats

Buy a bigger house, downsize when necessary.

Hopefully your kids will move countries.

Did you ask ChatGPT to write a post that would go viral on Mumsnet? If this isn’t a troll post, I’m astounded

We have a similar setup although not two separate properties. Dh and I live downstairs and the “children” live upstairs. It’s a fantastic arrangement. They can have their friends in without us even having to see them. They are completely responsible for their own bedrooms, bathroom and living room/office. I rarely venture up there. Unfortunately they don’t have a kitchen so collect their meals from ours but have a kettle etc. we communicate mostly by txt.

They are 30 and 19 though so that might make a difference.

Is he on mind altering drugs ?

does he not like your children?

what a awful idea!! unless they are in their 20s - awful!

I mean, if you actually went ahead and do this your kids will be taken off you and put into foster care quicker than you can unpack....

I think this arrangement could prompt safeguarding issues with the school which could potentially prompt involvement from authorities. You may also have issues with insuring the property.

This is completely bat shit.

In the U.K. children can leave home at 16 without parental consent.

Parents have responsibilities until the child is 18 though.

I'm sure the kids would love this idea, so you may be outvoted...😆

But yeah, not the wisest course of action.

Good grief, if he wants to rent out you could do this by finding somewhere with an annexe or something that could be divided into flats later.
In reality any mortgage would be buy to let and that’s a different kettle of fish anyway so it doesn’t matter how old you are.
Its way too soon to be planning a retirement based on being landlords, goodness knows what the state of play will be in 10 years, the whole notion may be taxed beyond economic viability by then.

Insane. Neglect and bonkers.
What if someone knocks at their door. What about waking up in the night. What about a fire. What about kitchen appliances, a trip or fall, and thats in either flat.
Sorry your husband is living jn a dream world 😂

I mean obviously it's crazy.

Dividing your home into 2 separate flats one day, when the children are grown, might make more sense. At its heart it's just making sure there is a full bathroom on both floors, and installing a second kitchen upstairs.

Two flats next to each other could be a superb solution for divorced parents. But buying leasehold flats with any idea of knocking through or adults living apart from your kids? No, bonkers. And massive safeguarding issue to have children sleeping in a self contained flat with unsupervised access to the hob etc.

Surely he means in the future like when they are in their 20s, he can't possible want to do this now? Of course that wouldn't be ok on any level!

Exactly what I was thinking!

Don’t be daft.

We’ve done it. It works for us!

You let your 11 and 9 year old children live next door to you and your husband? Sure. I'd be calling Social Services if you were my neighbour.

This is absolutely ludicrous. Just downsize or buy a small rental property as and when your children have actually grown up and left home (which may not be the moment they turn 18). Or save for a few years and buy one when you've built up a deposit. Unless you're in the Lancet I'd have thought you have a few years yet before you're both completely unable to get a mortgage.

It shouldn't need explaining why your young children should also live in the same property as you. PP are spot on re safeguarding also. If my partner did this I'd be making sure to keep a close eye on any joint bank accounts, as he's clearly incapable of making a rational decision.