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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a crazy idea?

270 replies

MattHandjob · 30/06/2025 10:17

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

OP posts:
Hecatoncheires · 30/06/2025 10:40

Is he serious or is it a pie-in-the-sky joke?

AmateurNoun · 30/06/2025 10:44

Could you convert your current house into flats when the kids are older and moved out? You live on the ground floor and rent out the upstairs.

665theneighborofthebeast · 30/06/2025 10:47

You could all live in a two bedroom flat and rent the other out immediately.
The problem here is costs of buy to let over returns. The Cost of owning a second home vs income from long term letting is a lot closer margin than most people think. You are really dependent on the property price bubble continuing to expand and then you are looking at capital gains tax.
Council tax is being increased to savage second home owners amongst other financial penalties.
You cant get a mortgage on a second property if its in trust to a child ie you were thinking of the kids inheriting it.

Has he actually spoken to a financial advisor at all ???

somejust · 30/06/2025 10:47

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Am lol-ing (desparingly, tbf) that you have come up with a list of reasons, or even given this idea oxygen.

The plus side for your DH is, that if you do go ahead with his plan, your next-door-flat will be able to be rented out from the get-go as your kids will be being looked after by their corporate parents.

Endofyear · 30/06/2025 10:47

It's a ridiculous idea and probably not legal. Why doesn't he want to live with his children? If he really wants 2 flats, I would rather live in one flat with the children and tell him to go and live in the other!

TokyoSushi · 30/06/2025 10:53

It's not very often that I read things on here and think 'that has never, ever, crossed my mind' - but this is one of them, of course you can't do that!

Mauro711 · 30/06/2025 10:55

This has crossed my mind, but the difference is my kids are 10 years older and we live in a city with a pretty impossible rental market and they don't have deposits saved up yet. At 9 and 11 this is just neglect.

limescale · 30/06/2025 10:55

Is this a wild idea

Yes.

londongirl12 · 30/06/2025 10:55

What a most bizarre idea. Think this wins craziest MN idea ever.

OneGiddyRubyViewer · 30/06/2025 10:56

My partners ex did this, but when the kids were a lot older, ie 16 plus. It’s not appropriate to leave two kids age 11 and 9 in their own flat, even if it’s next door.

Swiftie1878 · 30/06/2025 10:57

MattHandjob · 30/06/2025 10:28

He is looking to the future. He would like a second property in the future to rent out.

I think I'm going to have to stop the idea dead in it's tracks unless they can be knocked through until the DC are grown

He’s a complete arse.
Tell him to give his head a wobble.

limescale · 30/06/2025 10:57

....god I'd love this set up now though!

It's mostly me and DS (16) but DS (26) is coming home for a couple of weeks. I'd love them to do their bro thing in an entirely different property to our home!

CuthbertStrange · 30/06/2025 10:58

I'd love this idea if the children were older teens / early 20s so they could have their own space but have parents close by. But at their current age, unless there's a common wall you could knock down or create a door, then I'd say no way.

Heronwatcher · 30/06/2025 11:01

This has got to be a joke? Surely no sane person could think this is up for a debate? Yes OP having your children live in a separate house is likely to be a complete shitshow and lead to social services involvement. Plus I can pretty much guarantee that any house my kids lived in without almost constant supervision those ages would not generate any form of income whatsoever.

Why don’t you just pay into a pension or downsize your current house and buy a flat to rent out (to be clear, not to your own children).

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/06/2025 11:04

Strangest idea! Aside from every safety aspect, crippling emotional damage this would cause your children-
financially makes little sense, house will probably go up in value more- 2 lots of bills not to mention service charges etc.

GripGetter · 30/06/2025 11:04

Anything else you need to take into consideration? You mean besides the obvious insanity of the idea, the intrinsic child neglect and illegality?

Wishimaywishimight · 30/06/2025 11:07

Are you both drunk? You want to live next door to your young children?

The utter nonsense on here at times is beyond belief.

Pinty · 30/06/2025 11:07

Why does he want to do that? Doesn't he like being around his children?
No don't do it. Your pour children.
It certainly isn't safe to leave them alone at night and I don't think it would be legal either your young children would be living alone.

NuffSaidSam · 30/06/2025 11:08

Surely just buying a buy to let property would be the most obvious choice?!

Upsetbetty · 30/06/2025 11:10

2 mortgages, 2 lots of council tax, 2 lots of bills…sounds ridiculous!!!

crazeekat · 30/06/2025 11:21

He would be getting kicked out into his own personal flat. What a total idiot. Your poor kids, what a way to make them feel unwanted.

orangedream · 30/06/2025 11:21

Is he sorry he had children? He can't even wait for them to go to uni to ditch them? He wants them gone now?

I suspect he sees 3 of you in one apartment and him in the other.

AtrociousCircumstance · 30/06/2025 11:56

wtf?

Hardly a devoted father, is he? Not only is it a stupid idea, it’s emotionally bizarre and I would guess he’s having a mental health episode.

noidea69 · 30/06/2025 12:00

Sounds to me like he's regretting having kids.

Or he's setting things up to break up with you, and you agree to take a flat each in the divorce.

HelloCheekyCat · 30/06/2025 12:02

It isn't as easy as "knocking through" or putting a door.in to join two.flats, you'd still be paying council tax on two, ground rent on two etc.

Saying that this is complete bonkers and not worth a second of consideration

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