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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this a crazy idea?

270 replies

MattHandjob · 30/06/2025 10:17

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

OP posts:
rainbowsandraspberrygin · 30/06/2025 20:11

Think this is a joke?? There’s a few threads recently that I think just want the attention. Like the sunglasses one.

kids that age can’t run a house. A lot of adults can’t.

Tiredandtiredagain · 30/06/2025 20:12

I presume he doesn’t want a mortgage on the “2nd”
flat?

Also, don’t forget the higher stamp duty.

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 30/06/2025 20:20

So he wants to sell a freehold property for 2 leasehold flats which you'll have to pay management fees for. Which then puts you at the mercy of the freeholder to not increase the management fees by astronomical amounts each year. My former neighbour pays £400 pcm month on management fees on top of her mortgage.

Your husband is incredibly stupid and not very financially savvy. He's not going to become a millionaire anytime soon. I'd be separating any joint finances I have with him if I were you.

Yerdug · 30/06/2025 20:28

Haaaaa. Brilliant. I'm going to Childline.

Siriusmuggle · 30/06/2025 20:28

Is he quite mad?

3luckystars · 30/06/2025 20:29

You want to put your children into their own house on their own while you live in another house.

Have you actually lost your mind?

Could you speak to someone in real life about this please. Have you any family or friends you can talk to about these ideas?

BeenzManeenz · 30/06/2025 20:49

Its a ridiculous idea and quite possibly illegal. Why on earth are you even entertaining it?

I cannot decide if this is a wind up or not because it is so unbelievable

Richiewoo · 30/06/2025 20:52

Your husband has shit for brains. Off course kids that young can't live on their own.

DontTouchRoach · 30/06/2025 20:53

I had relatives who did this when their kids were in their mid/late teens, but not when they were as young as 11 and 9. The kids’ flat was a very small one with just a tiny kitchen and living area and the other one was a much bigger two-bed where they all ate as a family. And they didn’t sell a family home specifically for that reason - they moved to another country and it was actually a better option, financially and location wise, in the very centre of a famously expensive city than buying one bigger place.

In your situation it would be truly weird.

PopeJoan2 · 30/06/2025 20:53

Chintzcardboard · 30/06/2025 19:33

Yes, I know a family that bought next door flat just before new baby born, and while waiting for planning & builders to join the flats, the boys lived in next flat WITH a LIVE IN NANNY at night. The boys were 12 & 11 and they had a new born who stayed w mum & dad.

Show quote history

Did it work well? Were they happy with the arrangement?

PopeJoan2 · 30/06/2025 20:55

Endofyear · 30/06/2025 10:47

It's a ridiculous idea and probably not legal. Why doesn't he want to live with his children? If he really wants 2 flats, I would rather live in one flat with the children and tell him to go and live in the other!

This is probably his dream!

Sunshine1500 · 30/06/2025 21:00

Id report you to social services if you left a 9 and 11 year old in a flat themselves

AbzMoz · 30/06/2025 21:07

Your kids are currently too young to live in a flat by themselves, and if you think otherwise you need to give your head a wobble.

Are you expecting your kids to remain in the flat as students / young professionals? Are you expecting them to return to care for you (you mentioned you are older)?

If not, why would you want to live so close to a tenant?

Do you actually want to live in an (imo awkward) flat configuration, vs a family home?

1543click · 30/06/2025 21:59

Great way to make your children feel insecure and unloved.

WingBingo · 30/06/2025 22:16

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 30/06/2025 20:11

Think this is a joke?? There’s a few threads recently that I think just want the attention. Like the sunglasses one.

kids that age can’t run a house. A lot of adults can’t.

I thought so too. There’s been a few lately

Chintzcardboard · 30/06/2025 22:24

PopeJoan2 · 30/06/2025 20:53

Did it work well? Were they happy with the arrangement?

Show quote history

Yes … they only went to “new” flat to sleep & school work. They had the ££ for nanny, otherwise they could not have boys left alone.
They did join the flats

TicklishMintDuck · 30/06/2025 22:36

AmateurNoun · 30/06/2025 10:21

Can you join the flats into one property with an internal door? This will be both a question of it being physically possible to do it and a legal question.

If not, I cannot see how this would be at all feasible.

They’re leasehold so you can’t touch them. This is a bonkers idea and has to be illegal. Your children would essentially be living independently. Is this made up or real?!

Hollybobs1 · 30/06/2025 23:03

This is mental! Sounds like he's having a midlife crisis.

Ivy888 · 30/06/2025 23:33

Caligirl80 · 30/06/2025 10:24

Very weird. What's wrong with your house?

There are plenty of people in places like New York who buy adjoining apartments and knock them through into one big place, but the notion of putting the kids in a separate apartment would be considered neglect. Good luck getting home owners insurance if the people who are normally resident in the home are minor children.

You mean, what’s wrong with the husband…

BlondeAussie · 01/07/2025 00:50

BruceAndNosh · 30/06/2025 20:03

I think the real plan is that you and the children live in one flat, and husband lives in bachelor pad next door

Yep.

100% he'd expect to come over for meals, though....

vickylou78 · 01/07/2025 09:18

This idea is crazy!!!! No you can't just leave a 9 year old in another property!! Not safe at all. Also wouldn't really be family living would it.

Would work with a 21 year old and a 23 year old or something similar

Phoenixfire1988 · 01/07/2025 11:23

Absolutely batshit crazy and I'm fairly sure illegal social services would have your kids in care quick smart !! This can't be real its so ridiculous

InterestedDad37 · 01/07/2025 12:11

Totes cray-cray 😀🤪😵‍💫

hypnovic · 01/07/2025 12:25

This cant be real? They are your children not neighbours if they were 20 id say yeah brilliant..I think your husband wants to leave he is bored of parenting

Pherian · 01/07/2025 17:41

MattHandjob · 30/06/2025 10:28

He is looking to the future. He would like a second property in the future to rent out.

I think I'm going to have to stop the idea dead in it's tracks unless they can be knocked through until the DC are grown

I think what you need is financial advice.

Having a rental property in the long run is probably not going to produce the expected income and with the tax on the income you'll be having even less coming in.

It's the reason I sold my home instead of retaining it as a rental as the long term performance of the money in a SIPP and the ability to minimise my tax burden when I draw it down was a better option.

It will also be classed as a second home and you will pay additional council tax on top of the income tax from the rental and you will pay capital gains tax when you sell it.

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