Page 4 | Is this a crazy idea?

softlyfallsthesnow · 30/06/2025 15:43

Fine if you don't mind a knock on the door from Social Services. I mean, abandonment, neglect, inadequate parents all spring to mind. Does your DH not like his children?
Are you seriously asking?

cadburyegg · 30/06/2025 15:46

5foot5 · 30/06/2025 10:26

One of the most bizarre ideas I have ever seen on here.
Are you sure he doesn't envisage you living in one flat with the DC while he effectively gets a bachelor flat to himself?

Edited

This was my thought too. This is inevitably how it would turn out, let’s face it.

cryptide · 30/06/2025 15:48

Comedycook · 30/06/2025 10:22

Omg! What on earth have I just read?!

Don't you know?

cryptide · 30/06/2025 15:52

Why incur all that extra expense now just for the dubious benefits of having a separate property in the future. Other considerations apart, it may be 10 years or more before your children are ready to leave.

Just imagine the scenario - cop knocks at their door on a house to house only for them to tell him mummy and daddy don't live there. Or, worse, local paedo discovers that they live on their own and that you won't hear anything if you're at the back of your flat ...

GingerDoris · 30/06/2025 15:54

My kids are the same age. I just read this out to my eldest and she stopped in her tracks and gave the sternest look ever and said "really?" 🤣 Even she knows this would be a terrible idea. I think you'd have the social knocking pretty quickly too. I'm an easy going Mum, but there are limits.

VickyEadieofThigh · 30/06/2025 15:54

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 30/06/2025 10:23

What? This is a crazy idea.
Why doesn't he want to live with his children? Why are you even entertaining this?

Quite!

The only possible response is "Don't be fucking STUPID, Dave!"

OiFatArse · 30/06/2025 15:56

What the actual fuck have I just read 😂😂😂 No obviously you cannot live in a separate building to your kids 🤦

NorthXNorthWest · 30/06/2025 15:56

Your husband wants a divorce. Once you have two flats it will be much easier.

Being older parents is a cop out. How much damage would it do to a child who knows that their parents don't want to live in the same house.

This must be a wind up. What sane human being would even consider that set up. I am not sure who is worse your husband for suggesting it or you for considering it.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 30/06/2025 15:56

This is a troll. Look at the username.

Turkeylurkie · 30/06/2025 15:57

Totally see the benefits
Excellent idea
I wish I could do the same
Housing is going to very difficult for our young people to get
You've solved it for them

Kevinisnotacatname · 30/06/2025 15:58

I fucking hate this Mumsnet phrase but never has it been more apt. Are you on glue?

Iwantamarshmallowman · 30/06/2025 15:59

I can't imagine this would be legal. I've read some fairly abhorrent shit on mumsnet but this is insane.

AuntieLemonade · 30/06/2025 16:00

This is DERANGED 🤣🤣🤣

FOJN · 30/06/2025 16:01

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

I love how you address the practical considerations of two separate households for your family and then address the legality of a 9 and 11 year old living alone as if the legal situation is the only thing stopping you.

Good to know "it doesn't sit right" with you but I'd be more reassured if you thought it was insane and dismissed the idea without further consideration.

Namechangetry · 30/06/2025 16:03

I believe Bob Geldof did this - him and his wife (and maybe youngest adopted daughter?) in one flat and his daughters downstairs in another. Not surprisingly his daughters felt pushed out and abandoned and it messed them up emotionally.

So yeah don't do that.

MiddleAgedDread · 30/06/2025 16:04

It's insane! Would you honestly leave a 9 and 11 on their own in a flat across the landing overnight??

ShouldWeGoAway · 30/06/2025 16:09

Can you imagine the conversation with the council…

YOU: “Can we have a discount on the council tax for property 2?”
COUNCIL: “ And how do you qualify for a discount?”
YOU: “ The occupiers are under age, and will be for a number of years”….

Expensive to have two properties…( even if it could ever work).

Longdarkcloud · 30/06/2025 16:10

Might be great idea if DH lived in one and you and DC in the other (you’d want at least 3 bedrooms.) I think many marriages might last longer this way.
What your DH proposes is illegal and tantamount to leaving your DC home alone.

DiscoBob · 30/06/2025 16:11

It seems utterly bizarre. I mean I get that maybe when the kids are over 18 and you want to downsize, and buy them a flat also then that's fair enough.

But surely they should get to choose the flat you're buying for them? Why would they want to live next door to you, or even together?

The living costs will be so much higher unless the kids were working.

And no, it isn't legal to live in a seperate property to your underage kids. That's classed as abandonment.

Just tell him now is not the right time for such things. The whole scenario sounds bonkers.

Sera1989 · 30/06/2025 16:12

It gives the impression that your husband really dislikes your children. Unless the idea is you live together in one flat and rent out the other one until your kids are 18+ and then they move in. Or that you knock through to have a four bedroom flat and then reinstate the wall at some point. Having two locked doors between you and your kids overnight isn’t a good idea for safety reasons but how will you enforce rules from another flat? I wouldn’t be surprised if this was against the terms of a mortgage and it’s likely other people in the building would call SS

cadburyegg · 30/06/2025 16:15

FOJN · 30/06/2025 16:01

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

I love how you address the practical considerations of two separate households for your family and then address the legality of a 9 and 11 year old living alone as if the legal situation is the only thing stopping you.

Good to know "it doesn't sit right" with you but I'd be more reassured if you thought it was insane and dismissed the idea without further consideration.

Quite 🤣🤣🤣

Shessweetbutapsycho · 30/06/2025 16:18

Yes. This is crazy.

Im not sure why you need strangers on the internet to tell you this.….honestly just when you think you’ve heard it all…

DressOrSkirt · 30/06/2025 16:19

MattHandjob · 30/06/2025 10:28

He is looking to the future. He would like a second property in the future to rent out.

I think I'm going to have to stop the idea dead in it's tracks unless they can be knocked through until the DC are grown

This doesn't make any sense considering he doesn't even want the younger child in the same flat as you even though there would be 2 bedrooms.

But of course it's illegal and neglectful to allow your minor children to live on there own.

LifeIsGreatForUnicorns · 30/06/2025 16:19

I once went out with a lad who’s dad didn’t like the mess the kids left so lived in the house next door - seemed to work for them!
personally, I think it’s a great idea (as long as I lived separate from the husband and kids!

LauderSyme · 30/06/2025 16:19

If you and DH want to seriously fuck up your kids by destroying their sense of family, security and self-worth, this is a great idea.