Is this a crazy idea?

[MattHandjob]

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

So basically he won't your 11 and 9 year old to............move out? 😂

It's kind of doable. You live in one flat, and the second flat is a big play area/homework area/hobby area etc. All the clutter out of the living area. Somewhere for older teens to hang out.

It has possibilities.

But none of those possibilities includes minors sleeping next door on their own on a regular basis.

Unless you have made a mistake and your children are actually 19 and 21 he is being unreasonable but you are also on cloud cuckoo land to not stop him in his tracks the second the suggestion came out of his mouth. Fucking ridiculous suggestion, I actually can't believe this is real.

I know a family who did but 2 flats, difference being they (parents and children) lived in one and they rented the other. At one stage, one of the DC moved in with a friend but they were uni age by then.

WTF. Why does this place get weirder by the hour?

Insane.

Wouldn't this be child abandonment?????

I am absolutely staggered that you need to come on here and ask us whether this is a 'crazy idea' - it's worse than crazy!! I am gobsmacked you are even considering this for a second. Your husband is batshit and I can only assume that years of living with him has warped your idea of what is normal!! This is absolutely not normal in any way shape or form, I think it would massively damage your children and frankly he's a shit parent for suggesting it and so are you for considering it. These are your children! What on earth are you thinking???? Fucking hell, just when I think I've read it all. Disgusting.

Sounds good to me, but perhaps for when the kids are a bit older. They're too young right now for this.

Could you stretch to two semi-detacheds instead? Freehold. That would be awesome.

it would make sense if he wanted to let one flat out as a source of passive income and then children can have it as they grow up.

You’d pay the higher rate of stamp duty on the second flat and capital gains when you sell. Does you DH not like his children?

Yes probably. If there’s a fire and someone died you might be looking at a prison sentence

If you can turn it into one flat in the short term, sure, this could work long term - in 10 years time you block off whatever you've done to make it one flat and could sell/rent the second one. But for your children to live in a different property, even if next door, is completely and totally batshit crazy, dangerous, cruel and neglectful.

ETA: I'm actually wondering if he is one of those men who resent the time and attention the children take? Does he want you all to himself? Does he want to have more time alone? more sex? Is this actually about getting rid of the chidlren?

Yes. It is a crazy idea. Unless you want your children to be taken into care.

No sane adult thinks a 9 and 11 year old can live in their own flat.

I'm questioning your husband's motives. Is he trying to separate equity before leaving? Does he really want one flat for himself and another for you and the children so that he can see them without having to take responsibility for looking after them?

The fact you’re asking if this is okay, is highly worrying.

Wtaf. No of course you can't do that.

At their ages, he's either:

A) insane
B) insanely reckless
C) has ideas about a rental without having spoken to you about the actual research he has done and engaged you to seek a joint decision (personally I'd not consider a rental now whereas a few years ago it may have been a different story)

D) he isslyly trying to seperate assets ahead of a divorce.

😂

Hmm to rent out or to move into?

You'd also need to pay 2x Concil tax, water rates, energy standing charges, insurance.........

Is he fucking mental??

This has safeguarding written all over it - I can just see it - the 11 year old telling school he lives alone in a flat with his younger sibling!! and you are next door!!

Give your head a wobble - jesus I am not sure I would want him anywhere near my kids if he can’t be bothered to parent them properly!!

…. and your reasons for not doing this do not anywhere include the safety of your kids!!

This has to be a joke?!!

I’m pretty sure SS would have something to say about this! It’s neglect

Absolutely mad - where are the kids in this decision? How will you look after them? Help them if they are sick? They would be leaving in a public communal space! Fires? Kitchen access Not only that, it’s illegal to leave them for that length of time on their own! Just mad

Just no

you can’t possibly let your children live alone. What kind of crazy world do you live in?
how can you even be thinking about this?

Two lots of all the utilities.
Even if one of you lived in each flat with one of the children each you would only get 25% off each of the council tax bills as single adults.