To feel annoyed by having given this particular person charity money

[WhatABigYikes]

Bear with me while I explain the background. We are Muslim which means it is mandatory for us to donate 2% of the value of our total savings to charity every year. IF anyone expresses they are accepting charity money because their own situation is so bad then it is permissable to give that charity money to that person. In my experience that is usually a poor family where my parents come from in India - something would have happened to impact their livelihood and they'd be struggling to buy food and medicines. Recently a family member of DH's (in the UK) expressed that they are classing themselves as requiring charity money - I suppose if it helps to draw a comparison, it could be a bit like if a person has started to use food banks for example ie. they are that level of being in need of some support. This is because in the last couple of years this person has been diagnosed with a life limiting illness and hasn't been able to work for at least the past 6 months. He was the breadwinner and his wife is a SAHM to two teenage school age children.

So, DH gave his charity money (£5k) to this person about 3 months ago. Of all the things, I've stumbled across this person's social media earlier today (his wife is maybe an influencer it seems with 50k followers and it popped up on my "people you may know" - we are not particularly close to them at all and only really see them at family weddings).

I have seen they've just been on holiday at an island location (where return tickets from the UK are £700+) with their two children.

AIBU to feel like we've sort of been conned for the money? I mean we certainly couldn't afford a trip for a family of four to a place like that right now...

@WhatABigYikes I'm sorry if this is a rude question and if it is let me know and I will delete, I am genuinely curious as I have never come across this before, if you have a mortgage, is the final amount calculated on the value of your house minus outstanding mortgage or of the value regardless of the mortgage. I guess I am just nosey

Will they are not. So again it shows how ignorant you are.

I can see why you would be annoyed but maybe as some posters have commented it is going to be the last holiday before things get worse and then if things improve and the treatment works, won't that be the best outcome.

I would be disappointed @WhatABigYikes I’ve experienced similar when someone has pleaded poverty but then goes round splashing the cash. It does feel like they got the money under false pretences.

‘Thou shalt not kill’ isn’t mandatory?

Are you having a laugh?

Talk about ignorance 😂

Do you mean the 2.5%? It's calculated based on your savings, and not to do with how much your home is worth AFAIK.

Coming from the person who thinks Zakat isn’t mandatory. Yup 🤣 There’s websites stating it is and how much to give, like the one I quoted you in. I’m not Catholic so this is no skin off my nose but they are considered a moral guide just like in many faiths. I can imagine plenty of Catholic people do break them but like I said it’s a moral principle.

Oh my God. Is this person being wilfully obtuse? It's exactly a "moral principle". It's mandatory in the sight of GOD, but as those things tend to be, humans can do it or not if they wish. Zakat isn't mandatory in the way council tax or an MOT is

op mentioned something later on about it being terminal if the treatment doesn’t work

I don’t know too much about JW apart from the medical side of it. What was her reason fur asking you to pay for all them? Just because they had no money?

Do you know for sure that the holiday was not a gift from someone else? I hope so, otherwise they should be using the money for day to day living.

More ignorance from you. What I said about zakat is that no one forces Muslims to give it, no one comes to your door demanding it, there is no record of who gave it or who didn’t. I never said it wasn’t mandatory.

Whereas if you kill someone, the law will come after to you.

Do you see the difference? Or was that too taxing for you?

Now explain again why you think ‘thou shall not kill’ is not mandatory?

It's calculated on any spare money you have .

So any savings.

If you have any gold you don't wear regularly. If you wear the jewellery everyday then it isn't counted.

So if you have a mortgage of 200k that you owe.

But have 40k saved in a savings account. Then it's 2.5% on your savings.

If you had a mortgage of 200k but used the 40k to pay off the mortgage. Then you have zero savings to pay on.

Etc

So if you have assets that are not easily converted to cash e.g. 2 houses put for rent- they don't count

Lots of rules online.

I say this with kindness as I don’t think you intend to come off like this but you’re coming across very aggressive and hostile by the way you have repeatedly spoken to other posters and myself. I think it may be time to leave the thread as you seem rather emotional. Please don’t quote me any further. Thank you.

I think because they had no money but we were all young adults none of us had any money..

I think you need to work harder at your passive aggressiveness, you’re not very good at it 😂

Now that your lies have been challenged and you have no more answers, perhaps you’ll do us all a favour and stop derailing OP’s thread and find another one more suited to you.

What happened to her? Did she leave? I do think most aspects of faith is just about brainwashing people and having them believe in things when the reality is that they don’t know why they believe in them things. They’re just being controlled. The likes of ISIS and Al Qaeda for example.

Why on earth have we got from donating money- a good thing- to ISIS?
Rhetorical question. I know why.

Would the recipient be punished for using the money for this purpose?

It’s considered to be between the person and God, and that one day they’ll be judged for it.

You've chosen to give a lump sum of money to a family who has a SAHM to teenagers?! I would say that is bonkers, yes.

Why doesn't she get a job if they're skint?

I can understand why you feel that way OP, you'd prefer your donations to go to people who really need help and it doesn't sound like this family does need it.

I would try and hold on to the fact that what you did was generous and open-hearted. They may have acted in bad faith but you didn't.

It was very sad as she was my best friend and i lost her as she became so mentally ill...she was never that stable but they look for vulnerable people and offer a family...she was totally brainwashed and believed i would burn in hell as i wasnt a jehovah, she had the grab bags by the front door for when judgement day came, she was so stressed about not being picked for judgement day, she believed the devil was circling her house and when i went to stay she wouldnt let me open windows or the back door incase he got in, she did eventually leave but got worse and started believing in conspiracy theories, she was seriously mentally unwell and she screamed and screamed at me as she was so totally paranoid she believed there were 3 moons and 4 suns and nothing was real...i miss her, the elders would also come to her house when we her friends visited to get rid of us....serious madness, we had stayed the weekend at hers and in the morning sat on her sofa in our PJ'S with 3 elders staring at us

I’m sorry to hear that. I agree these kind of cults pray on vulnerable people. Did you read the story of the Doomday Mom? Very sad that two children died. There was another story from the US about a woman who thought she was the second coming of Jesus and could cure cancer. She started some cult and ended up dying of cancer, her body was found mummified, Amy Carlson was her name. Very odd.

I will have a look thankyou,

Yup 🤔