I’m probably being a prude but…

[Username73638]

…what is the deal with teenage girls running around basically naked these days?

Last week, I was driving down the road near a secondary school at letting out time and I must have seen about 5 girls’ actual bum cheeks as they were leaving school. Like, we all rolled our skirts up fairly short at school, but this was actually full knickers and bums on display… one girl was wearing a thong so it was just her whole bum on show.

Then, I was on the beach today (we live near the sea) with my two primary school aged sons and there were a group of maybe 13-14 year old girls, they were very young, more than half of whom were in thong bikinis. They spent most of the time on the beach doing a photoshoot, predominantly photos of them from behind looking out to sea, presumably for social media?!

I know teenagers have always been teenagers, but I’m pretty sure underage girls weren’t wearing thong bikinis on the beach when I was that age 😳

I could see other families on the beach felt uncomfortable with it too.

Do their parents know? Is this just how teenagers dress these days?

I wore Daisy Duke shorts back in the early 90's! They barely covered my ass. However, the big difference being, I was 19, not 13/14! My Mum wouldn't have let me out the house wearing clothes that were revealing as a young teenager.

What I said is that naked flesh attracts the male gaze.

Is your position that this is not true?

So my naked flesh attracted my rapist - yes or no?

Which teenagers are walking around naked? More hyperboles!

Nope it doesn't attract predators. They are after power not flesh.

But there's a difference between natural nakedness and thongs/belt-type skirts, just as there's a difference beween a string vest and a corset...?

They are after power AND flesh.

Most women have learnt this by the time they're in their late teens.

Have you?

Can I give an example. Tonight it's really warm so I've changed into skimpy pyjamas. My DH who is lovely in every way has gone wow, you look hot. He still fancies me with more clothes on but I was showing more flesh which turned him on. This is normal in a loving relationship.

So weird pervy men will get turned on by less clothes and more flesh. Which is shit because women should be able to wear what they want.

@Petitchat Yes, I think it’s important to differentiate between young teenagers (13-15) and older teens/young adults.

Young teenagers don’t yet have emotional maturity and are very definitely children. This reminds me of someone my DD (20) went to school with. At 15, she posted some photos of herself in underwear online-cue massive fuss, other teens told their parents, school got involved, more talks about online safety, etc. etc.

The OP is talking about young teens and adults are responsible for them. Once they’re older, they can do what they like, but at 13/14, they’re children.

It might have. How should I know? Share your story and we can work out where it went wrong.

You mean did I learn a lesson and not be naked near a man again?

Oh shit no, I was naked near a man on Friday and Saturday! Fuck!

I was in bed naked with him as he was my partner. He chose to rape me instead.

My fault, yes or no?

Should women never be naked with a man they are in a relationship with or else it is their fault for making him desire to rape instead of a desire for sex.

Paedos are wanting kids not flesh. This is about what turns a paedo on, paedos like males and female kids as it is a child they want not a body! Men who gaze at kids bums are paedos.

Does your DH look at men like that too? If not then he is not the kind of man we are on about as men who perve over teen girls also perve over teen boys and so it isn't the sight of a knee that turns them on. It is their age.

So your ankle isn't sexy but your knee is? Well each to their own! Don't show your knees in public you might get attacked and it'll be your fault.

So why not boys as paedos are after boys too? So we telling boys to cover up from paedos or just girls here?

Do only girls matter if you think it is fine for boys to flash nipples and be assaulted by paedos because they are after flesh you say.

You were naked in bed next to your partner but not for the purpose of having sex with him? Was it just a very hot night?

Regardless, do you not think it was your naked body right next to him that attracted his attention?

If anything you're just proving my original claim - as if it has to be proved - that naked flesh attracts the male gaze.

Oh it was for the purpose of having sex but he chose to rape me instead. So he didn't get attracted by my body or he would've just wanted sex. He had a desire to rape. That was not caused by my body.

Why did he not just have sex but rape if it was about the male gaze? Proving my point that it was about power not flesh that he wanted.

And no I never sleep naked for fear of turning on firemen if they come to rescue me if my house is on fire. Would want them to put the fire out not wank over my fat ass hanging out of the window, right?

You have absolutely lost me.
Goodnight....

You've totally lost me. You were in bed about to have sex with your partner, but he asked you to withdraw consent because he wanted it to be rape? How did he choose to rape you?

And to the matter at hand, are you saying the risk factor would have been exactly the same had you both been fully clothed doing crosswords in the kitchen?

Your attitude and sharing it is the same attitude that the police had and they said yes he raped you as I had it on my phone as evidence but I had to expect to be raped when naked in bed.

So your attitude prevents arrests as blaming the victim for being raped is what allows them to walk free. So while you blame the victim for being raped I will most certainly blame you and your attitude for the contribution it made towards allowing rapists to walk free. So let's blame the right people here for supporting the crime and the outcome of your abhorrent victim blaming. You want to blame victims for being raped then you hold the blame for the outcome of rapists walking free.

Yes the risk factor was the same when dressed as he was a rapist and an abusive bastard. This wasn't his only sex crime against me and yes some were when I was clothed and some when I wasn't even in the same building.

Nope he didn't ask me to withdraw consent. He chose to rape. Sorry you do not understand consent.

Didn't you say you got into bed naked with him in order to have sex? So how does that turn into rape?

Anyway, your sad story has nothing to do with my original claim that naked flesh attracts the male gaze.

So because there is a sex act that I refuse to do which was always a no. That is what he chose to force me to do.

Yes it does as it blames the victim not the perpetrator and contributes to the support of perpetrators and prevents victims speaking out.

Nah wasn't about me, it was about victims and to highlight the harm your attitude does to victims and how it enables perpetrators.

That is what happened. Rather than having sex he chose to rape. Nope he didn't want anal. He never asked for anal ever and no he wouldn't have been happy if I had just consented to anal as he never wanted anal. He was a rapist out to rape. Simple. Stop excusing it as my fault for saying no and had I only said yes he wouldn't have raped.

Imagine saying he wasn't really a rapist it was just you saying no that made him do it? What the actual fuck!

So forgive me for highlighting you as a supporter of perpetrators which you are now trying to deflect from.

I disagree, naked flesh does not attract paedos. Absolutely not. Children of all ages - male or female, clothed or not attract paedos or else you'd be telling boys to cover up or else they get raped. You are not doing proving you do not believe it yourself either.

I'm very sorry you had such a horrific experience. Rape is 100% never the fault of the victim.

I don't know why you're trying to blame random posters though. It's definitely not your fault you were raped. It's not a poster on Mumsnet's fault either.

And to be blunt, your traumatic circumstances has nothing to do with the discussion at hand. We're talking about 13/14 year olds, the risk of being cat-called or upskirted or something, and whether parents and schools should enforce rules regarding clothing.

Can we stick to that discussion?