I’m probably being a prude but…

[Username73638]

…what is the deal with teenage girls running around basically naked these days?

Last week, I was driving down the road near a secondary school at letting out time and I must have seen about 5 girls’ actual bum cheeks as they were leaving school. Like, we all rolled our skirts up fairly short at school, but this was actually full knickers and bums on display… one girl was wearing a thong so it was just her whole bum on show.

Then, I was on the beach today (we live near the sea) with my two primary school aged sons and there were a group of maybe 13-14 year old girls, they were very young, more than half of whom were in thong bikinis. They spent most of the time on the beach doing a photoshoot, predominantly photos of them from behind looking out to sea, presumably for social media?!

I know teenagers have always been teenagers, but I’m pretty sure underage girls weren’t wearing thong bikinis on the beach when I was that age 😳

I could see other families on the beach felt uncomfortable with it too.

Do their parents know? Is this just how teenagers dress these days?

It is not a straw man as your child is in the room with a paedo metaphorically. The world is the room and your child is in there. So absolutely we agree that the skirt will not protect the child.

The thing that protects children from paedos is not being in the vicinity of one. That is the only thing that makes them vulnerable is being near one. The only thing that stops them being vulnerable is not being near one.

Why are you making false accusations about me 'wanting' a child to be abused? That is quite the allegation and quite false and not wise to make such allegations when in reality I am the one doing something in society while you sit back and do naff all.

If you cared about your child's safety you would be actively trying to make change in society instead of making your child responsible for the behaviour of paedos.

I don't think you understand statistics. There a million and one things we can do to reduce risk in our lives - don't drink and drive, don't walk down a dodgy street alone at night, don't leave your phone on a café table while you go to the loo, don't cross the street without checking for cars, don't smoke etc etc.

None of that will guarantee that you are completely safe. It just reduces the risk. Instead of, say, a 50 percent chance of a car crash if you drink and drive, you only have a 5 percent risk of a crash if you drive sober. But obviously just because you don't drink and drive doesn't mean you are fully safe from all car crashes.

We clearly are never going to agree though so I guess there's no point continuing the discussion.

If you cared about your child's safety you would be actively trying to make change in society instead of making your child responsible for the behaviour of paedos.

I can't keep quiet. I'm reading this thread and I can't quite believe what I'm reading. @5128gap is making perfect sense and you are twisting everything.

Have you got a Daughter?

Locking your door doesn't reduce the risk of harm to you as most harm is within the house. How often do people come and try to enter your house? No one has ever tried on mine. Ever. It is rare that someone tries to get into your house. However it is common to be attacked within the home. Most people experience it.

I was defining harm as burglary, not physical assault. I did not read all the posts leading up to yours so maybe I missed that you were just talking about assault.

Do most people experience assault in their homes?

It's the other way around. It's not that clothes are invisibility cloaks, but that naked flesh attracts the male gaze.

I’m not a fan of xcessive flesh exposure. But I’m a fan of the freedom they have to dress that way, and the fact is the hugest response is a tut and n eyebrow raise.

I haven't said you want a child to be abused. I suggested to experiment to see what street harassment looks like with a bare arse, and then have a think if you'd want 13 year old girls to be spared that. On a more positive note, what exactly on you working on to change society? Most of my career has been spent working to address VAWG and its aftermath, so I'm always interested in hearing about initiatives others are working on. What are you doing? What outcomes have you achieved? Is there a way for the public to support it?

I am in Lanzarote at the moment I have seen women sunbathing topless and a naked man sunbathing. This is my view from the balcony. Children are running around on this beach there is currently a weather warning. No one says a word.

It's hard work parenting isn't that's what they are not saying to you when you say that. The easiest thing for parents to do is to leave their children to it. I was strict it hasn't held them back in anyway now they are older they can wear what they want. More importantly my 19 and 17 year old offspring are more mature to handle the nonsense. My 19 year old was kissed up and down her arm by a Spanish man and she ran a mile. She said to him he has to get to know her first it's not a free for all. Teach children to take pride in themselves and the rest will take care of itself.

And a longer skirt is nothing to do with those as assaults happen more often when the person is wearing covered up clothing or none at all.

So continue asking your child to cover up and when it happens (as it will) she is not likely to confide in you as it'll eat her up inside knowing that mum thinks she didn't stop it. Sad but true - this is the main reason why females do not report.

Be part of the solution not the problem.

So you going to tell your daughter never to be in a relationship to prevent assault? I doubt it.

So I attracted my rapist as I was naked? It was my fault because I was naked? Abhorrent.

Yes they do.

As for burglary as stated, it isn't common for a burglar to try your door handle. It is common for someone to be assaulted in their own home. Locking the door will not protect someone.

Yes you did. You said think about whether you want children subjected to that implying that you care about stopping assaults by making girls cover up and it'll work apparently and me not wanting that means I want more assaults.

Absolutely wrong in saying that. Glad you accept you were wrong in suggesting that about me.

I mean how many hyperboles are we going to hear about teenage girls walking down the street naked from the waist down. It is bullshit. All this talk on them walking about with their bums naked. It doesn't happen.

My work is on supporting VAWG. I have helped families in danger and volunteer with my support group. I also work with the local women's groups on initiatives surrounding VAWG. I also work with the police about VAWG and reducing that and work with my MP.

I successfully got rapists held to account for the grooming scandal and got support for kids who are groomed that were being blamed for it too.

But yeah nothing really. I just want kids to be abused you say because I do not think a long skirt has any impact on assaulting or not.

Nothing in my work has been about clothing and campaigning for how not to get raped by wearing a long skirt. Has yours?

Maybe the centre for women's justice might be keen on your new idea for educating girls on more clothing = less assaults. Pitch it to them.

You're making things up, attributing them to me and then arguing with them. Which you can do by yourself without any further input from me. Good luck with your work for women and girls.

Well said.

We haven't fallen for the scam that female empowerment means applauding 13 year old girls baring their arses.

Frankly, I find your and other posters' repeated, explicit references to young teenagers' arses more troubling than silly teens following some trend. 100% do posters love to mention said arses online as many times, and in as derogatory a tone as possible on these threads. You seem to savour it 😂that's so much more weird, anti-social and frankly disturbing, especially, presumably, coming from some adult who, presumably, has a degree of critical thinking, and, presumably, has learned some basic manners. Fully weird topic and thread. Haha. Full of arses. 🙌

If you find discussion of the subject posed in the OP using plain language that makes it clear what's being discussed (rather than the euphemistic and minimising references to 'trends' 'short skirts' and 'revealing clothes') disturbing, then that's unfortunate. Personally I find the enthusiasm with which some individuals seek to convince everyone its perfectly harmless much more disturbing. Not that I think for a moment you are disturbed. You're just trying to belittle and discredit people because you know full well you have no other argument.

Sure, that's what I said.

You said bare flesh attracted predators. So my bare flesh attracted my rapist?

I'm pretty sure I didn't use the word predators. And I certainly didn't say anything about your rapist. Perhaps share your story and we can try to work out what the risk factors were.

Are you denying that on average, girls/women in skimpy dresses, baring a lot of skin, get more unwanted male attention than fully clothed females? Is that your claim?

@Fetaface nobody is victim blaming you or using you as an example.

No you don't see it much on the streets now I assume because people will probably want to go in a shop or a bar. Plenty on the beach though.

Do you understand what a synonym is?

Nope you didn't say anything about my rapist but you said that if someone is showing flesh then it attracts perpetrators so you did just blame me for being naked and causing my own rape.

Stand by your claim that more flesh = attracting perpetrators. At least own what you said and declare that I attracted it.

Men who are perpetrators are not attracted by the clothing. They are attracted by power. Sex offending is not about attraction.

I didn't say she/he used me as an example.

She/he certainly did blame me by saying that if you show flesh then you attract perpetrators.

I was naked so by her/his statement, I attracted my rapist by being naked.