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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed DH used dishcloth to wipe babies face?

433 replies

namechangesafe · 29/06/2025 21:16

NC I don’t want this post linked to others.

Just had a bit of a disagreement with DH and wondering if I’m being unreasonable here.

Our baby, three months old, was sick down his chin and on his bouncer and DH grabbed the dishcloth that was sitting by the kitchen sink to wipe it from baby’s face and mouth. I said “are you really using a dishcloth?” and he said yes. When I asked would he use one on his own face, he said yes he’d use it on his own face (so what’s the problem, in other words).

The cloth was taken from our washing up bowl, and the cloths I had recently bleached yesterday. It was a microfibre cloth and DH uses these cloths to wipe up mess from the floor, we use them to wipe the sides and wash dishes.

AIBU or am I being a bit too precious about this?

Another example, he often picks baby up by both arms, did it this morning to take him out the bath and carry him two metres across the room and he keeps doing it, just another example of things he does that I don’t agree with.

Whenever I point things out to him he instead gets defensive and says “don’t tell me how to parent DC.” When he points things out to me I change what I’m doing, because my goal is just to want the best for DC but he thinks my safety concerns are silly and trying to wrap him in cotton wool.

Generally we are struggling with our newborn to be on the same page with safety concerns and I’m feeling very stuck and isolated as he will not respect my wishes when I call things out.

I’m really struggling.

OP posts:
AJLOAL · 01/07/2025 22:25

Barnbrack · 01/07/2025 22:15

Those babies are not newborn's, you can see the difference right?

The video is an example of what goes on in other countries 🙄
I'm not advocating DH picking baby up by his arms, as I've previously said, if I saw him doing this I'd report him.

Barnbrack · 01/07/2025 22:26

AJLOAL · 01/07/2025 22:25

The video is an example of what goes on in other countries 🙄
I'm not advocating DH picking baby up by his arms, as I've previously said, if I saw him doing this I'd report him.

My point is just that anyone with any sense wouldn't look at this and think it means newborns can be lifted dangling by their hands.

AJLOAL · 01/07/2025 22:35

Barnbrack · 01/07/2025 22:26

My point is just that anyone with any sense wouldn't look at this and think it means newborns can be lifted dangling by their hands.

And you're suggesting I do?!
My point is it could be a cultural thing. Its no excuse but there's an awful lot of shit that goes on in different countries that we don't agree with here.
Rephrase your comments, read what I've said and stop attacking me.

Barnbrack · 01/07/2025 22:36

AJLOAL · 01/07/2025 22:35

And you're suggesting I do?!
My point is it could be a cultural thing. Its no excuse but there's an awful lot of shit that goes on in different countries that we don't agree with here.
Rephrase your comments, read what I've said and stop attacking me.

How on earth am I attacking you?

I'm saying even if someone's culture gives rise to those baby acrobatics with older babies it doesn't mean parents on that culture think it's ok to dangle a newborn

Feb85 · 01/07/2025 23:17

I find this thread so scary and horrendous to be still reading but I still do out of the fear and concern for this baby. Is there away of reporting this to get this baby some help or has Mumsnet HQ picked up on it or why haven’t they?

Haveyoubrushedyourteeth · 02/07/2025 07:40

Genuine question OP, are you prepared to go to prison for this man?

His sudden change of attitude regarding the arm lifting has nothing to do with baby, and everything to do with him. He realised that if he causes injuries then hes up shit creek.

If you can't protect your son, then protect yourself (can't believe im writing that but im at a loss as to how else to get you to wake up and act). You have to tell at least your health visitor or GP.

He seemed to think that any minor injury could just be explained away. How would he do that, other than blaming you? You have to go to someone who can advise and document these things and you need to listen to them. If a serious injury happens (and it will) you saying it wasn't me/ husband didn't mean it/ it was an accident because hes very clever....well its not going to cut it im afraid.

You're at the beginning of one of the stories that you read in the papers. Let that sink in.

Emonade · 02/07/2025 08:47

Feb85 · 01/07/2025 23:17

I find this thread so scary and horrendous to be still reading but I still do out of the fear and concern for this baby. Is there away of reporting this to get this baby some help or has Mumsnet HQ picked up on it or why haven’t they?

I reported but haven’t heard anything

chloe22whitethorn · 13/08/2025 05:27

namechangesafe · 29/06/2025 21:25

@Confrontayshunmeyes I’m aware which is why I’m struggling. Quite badly.

today for example, I’ve told him baby has a rash on his face. His response was so dis the lady at works baby it’s normal (as if I’m worrying over nothing). Our baby also often cries after feeds and now myself a family member and nanny said he gets sick a lot, he says no he doesn’t and he hardly ever gets sick when he feeds him.

I’ve also said baby is often not napping long in the day, his response was he does for me.

like Wtaf, I’m end of my tether.

He isn’t supportive, dismissive of your feelings. He is an A hole.

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