Is it just a societal norm? (Breastfeeding related)

[Emerald95]

Inspired by last night's controversial opinions thread.
Many women on the thread were saying breastfeeding your child after 6m/1y/2y was weird and by that age a child should be on cow's milk.

I think it is odd to take away the milk made for your baby, and replace it with a cow's breastmilk made for a calf.
Why is giving a child cow's breast milk so normalised? Is it simply because that is what that generations before have done and thus become a societal norm?

I am not a vegan, or even a vegetarian. I am not against consuming animal products but it just seems very weird to be swapping milk produced by a mother for her specific child for milk made by a cow for her calf.

I understand when a child is older and away from their mother for longer periods of time at nursery ect that cow's milk would then be easier. But when the child is mainly at home with their mother, say under the age 3, why should she choose a cow's breastmilk over her own?

Those who hold the view that young children should move onto cow's milk instead of breastfeeding, why?

YABU- Cow's milk is better for a young child
YANBU- Swapping a young child from their mother's Breastmilk to Cow's breastmilk is weird

Breastfeeding is recommended by the NHS up to the age of 2. I don't know why people would find it weird? I think the difference is when they are little you just pop your boob out whenever they want it but once they are on solids, they have less milk (usually morning and/or evening perhaps around nap time). Because they feed less frequently and get most of their nutrition from food after 1, it maybe seen as unusual if you stop what your doing when out and about to give milk on demand? That's the only thing I can think of. Still bf my nearly 16 month old. My boundary now is she can have milk but only on pjs, so first thing in the morning, evening and during the night if needed. I wouldn't judge another mum if they had a different schedule of course! It's all natural.

People don't always think logically. That's all. YANBU

Cows don't have breasts so it's cows milk.
In all honesty it really doesn't matter, as long as the child is getting sufficient calcium. If anything breastfeeding impacts on a woman's calcium supplies and potentially risk of osteoporosis post menopause, so switching to a different milk source may be preferable.

I never understood it either but I fed one child until 18 months (when I became pregnant again) and the other until he was about 3.

I had the judgmental MIL comments but generally kept it fairly quiet as people do look at you with surprise. I wanted to shout ‘I’m not doing it for me!!’

My son is allergic to milk, even his allergy doctor was trying to push some foul smelling milk allergy formula from 6 months. I said ‘no thanks, I’ll just breastfeed’ and he looked at me like he’d never heard such a comment before …

Looking back I’m proud at going for that long and am now much more confident in telling people that I did!

I breastfed my baby until 2. I stopped because it was getting painful and he kept stopping and laughing at me, and wasn't interested any more. He didn't move on to cow's milk, he didn't drink any milk after that - his choice. You can get nutrition elsewhere.

Mumsnet is weirdly anti breastfeeding generally. I don’t get it.

Nutrition is readily available from cow’s milk and children are at nursery for the day so easy to give cows milk especially when you are back at work or a day out without your DC’s. I used formula from day one but those I know who breast fed wanted their DC’s on cows milk when they were weaned

I BF my DC until they were nearly 2 and I was very well aware that people found it weird so I didn't tell people that openly which is sad because it shouldn't be hidden but then again I'd find it odd if someone were BFing a 4 year old and who if to say what's normal.

Breastfeeding actually reduces the risk of osteoporosis, as well as certain cancers, type two diabetes, heart disease... the list goes on. It can cause a temporary reduction in bone density but this returns to normal after the child weans.

Of course YANBU.

The NHS says breastfeeding cuts the mother’s risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and osteoporosis, among other things. Cancer risk def falls the longer she BFs. Win win!!

Typing this while BF my 8 month old of course 😂

Boobs are very sexualised which doesn't help. I had an acquaintance who was outraged that there was a toy doll that made feeding sounds if the child wore a vest with sensors near where their breasts would be, yet found it cute her reception aged son was googling big boobs on his iPad.

I fed mine until they weaned, so from 2 years up to 4 years for one of mine. It was a god send when they had chicken pox so bad it was in their mouth and they didn't want to eat. So many benefits for them and me.

I fed DD2 to natural term; she was nearly 6 years old.

BF DS1 until 30 months, DS2 until night before his 4th birthday. It was mainly about getting them off to sleep. Nobody really knew apart from me and DH.

I don’t understand why inconsequential, harmless things like extended BFing get people cross and judgemental. The only non-valid choice in terms of feeding is where children come to harm, like the poor baby who was subjected to an extreme diet and died.

I think these things seem important when you’re in the trenches, but they’re not. DS1 & DS2 are indistinguishable from their friends health/intelligence-wise. They do well at primary/secondary because I’m able to support them (I’m a teacher/ masters-level educated), not because they BF or FF. The cleverest kid I know was FF from birth.

I FF my first and used to feel this way. My feelings were due to my own insecurities about not breastfeeding.

Plus breasts are massively sexualised. Men think breasts are for them and plenty of women back them up.

I generally find that when pressed the only justification they can come up with is things like “weird”, “unnecessary”, “attention seeking” and “infantilising”. The first 2 are emotion based and the second 2 are illogical.

i bf until 14 months. I find we live in an anti-BF culture where bottles are “normal” and BF is seen as, at best, a bit odd. The formula lobby Nestlé et all are extremely powerful. Our culture is saturated with images of babies and bottles.

Raising children is an emotive subject. No parent wants to get it wrong in anything they do. We all need to feel we're getting it right. And as humans we like to see things as binary - right or wrong. No middle ground. Especially on something as important as raising children.

So mother's are often defensively judgemental. The unconscious thought being "I did it this way, so it has to be correct, that means everyone who does different is wrong. Because I am a good mother. BUT If what they are doing is actually correct, that would mean I did it wrong and that would make me a bad mother. I can't have that uncomfortable thought. Must judge others! "

Breastfeeding in particular is ridiculously emotive because it's so primal. Only a mother can do it. There's a short window to establish it. Its an extension of pregnancy in that the mother is still essential, still sustaining life. It is very intimate (not meaning in a sexual way at all. But feeding one person from your own body is a close, personal act full of love). Add to that our societies sexualisation of breasts and patriarchy and historic marketing of formula that influenced our parents/grandparents generations opinions and made breastfeeding not the usual choice, so it was something that was, for a fair few years, rarely seen.

So now we have people with all sorts of random opinions creating arbitrary rules for breastfeeding. How many of them are attacking defensively? How many of them have internalised misogyny? How many of them have no experience of raising children?

Their opinions are all completely irrelevant. Breastfeeding has no effect on anyone else bar that mother and that baby.

And for context:
I first saw a woman breastfeed when I was in my early 20s and was quietly grossed out. The baby was a couple of months old. The mother was my friend.

When I got pregnant I decided I would breastfeed, but only until 6 months, because then the baby would be eating solids then 🤣

When the baby was 4 to 6 months I realised that the baby was not going to magically switch to a fully solid diet on any given date and what was the point switching to formula now that I had breastfeeding under my belt?

I breastfeed until she was nearly 3

I would say if we go back to mand intended purpose....to propergate nature designed us to wren our babies and move onto the next one so perhaps there's am inbred feeling that once the baby becomes a child we should be promoting independence.

I breastfed my son before bed until he was about 3.5. I don't care if people think it's weird, I didn't talk about it though. Most people didn't know.

I think it’s because people are aware of the health benefits but if they’ve chosen not to do it themselves, they need to disparage it in order to feel better about their choices.

I'm not sure about this personally. I think there is a lot of pressure in western capitalist cultures to promote independence in babies and children that's outside their comfort zones. Sleep training babies and weaning/FF are a case in point.

Stems from Victorian times when children of wealthy women were fed by other women (wet nurses). Never heard of “Victorian sensibilities”? Breastfeeding is icky, children should be seen and not heard, put in cots and learn to behave.

I just don’t get why anyone gives a single shit or has the time to form an opinion on how someone’s child is raised.

Why can’t you just do you? You want to give your kid breast milk til they’re 3? Knock yourself out, but you’re not a better mother than someone who has chosen to bottle feed the whole way through!

No one actually cares. We’re all too busy looking after our families, doing well at our jobs, having good times, dealing with bad times to give a single shit about how Donna from 4 doors down feeds her kid. So long as Donna from 4 doors down, is actually, feeding her kid.

By that logic we should all only drink human milk forever and never cow’s milk or any other type from another source. I think it’s more about moving away from milk and towards food and a balanced diet to include calcium after the age of one or so. Some people associate breastfeeding with something a baby does that has no other food source other than milk

I stopped at 9 months because I needed to return to work and needed her to take bottled milk from her granny. Up to that point, she refused the bottle. I also had enough and wanted bodily autonomy again.

Britain has the worst breastfeeding rates in the entire world and these types of outdated opinions and prejudices no doubt contribute to that.

it’s sad