Is it just a societal norm? (Breastfeeding related)

[Emerald95]

Inspired by last night's controversial opinions thread.
Many women on the thread were saying breastfeeding your child after 6m/1y/2y was weird and by that age a child should be on cow's milk.

I think it is odd to take away the milk made for your baby, and replace it with a cow's breastmilk made for a calf.
Why is giving a child cow's breast milk so normalised? Is it simply because that is what that generations before have done and thus become a societal norm?

I am not a vegan, or even a vegetarian. I am not against consuming animal products but it just seems very weird to be swapping milk produced by a mother for her specific child for milk made by a cow for her calf.

I understand when a child is older and away from their mother for longer periods of time at nursery ect that cow's milk would then be easier. But when the child is mainly at home with their mother, say under the age 3, why should she choose a cow's breastmilk over her own?

Those who hold the view that young children should move onto cow's milk instead of breastfeeding, why?

YABU- Cow's milk is better for a young child
YANBU- Swapping a young child from their mother's Breastmilk to Cow's breastmilk is weird

It's because of the sexualisation of women's breasts. Once an infant can articulate their need to suckle at mum's breasts, and even more once they can articulate that they want to touch mum's breasts or suckle at them, people get very squeamish and feel that it is inappropriate to let an infant do what an adult does.

But of course when an Infant or child interacts with their mum's breasts there is nothing sexual about it. It's nutrition, it's comfort it's love that the infant deserves and that the mother gives.

Even while arguing against it, the OP has the hangup. Why say But when the child is mainly at home with their mother, say under the age 3, why should she choose a cow's breastmilk over her own?

Why under age 3? Why set an age. Why not let it happen naturally, as the infant's life gets busier, as the mother is helping them to develop their independence and personhood?

We did sleep training and used formula from day one - nothing to do with independence but was how we wanted to raise our DC’s. Had nothing to do with comfort zones (what are they?) - they never had a lack of comfort.

The opinions that annoyed me on that thread were people saying after 12 months it's for the mother not the baby.

I tried to give up breastfeeding at 12 months and my son wasn't having it🤣 I very much had to carry on for him and not me at that point. It just took a few more months until he was finally able to sleep without it and then I was done.
I think people don't understand that if you exclusively breastfeed it becomes a major part of how you look after your baby in general and it's not just about feeding.

Why are you annoyed by what others think? Surely you made your own decision?
DC’s only had formula from day one - they are now in their mid 20’s so we can see that we made the right decision for our family.

When DS was diagnosed CMPA at 11 months, I had a call from the nutritionist of his consultant and was told "you'll have to give up breastfeeding him"

Told her no I'd rather work round it and fed him until he was four (morning and evening by then). He's never had cows milk , only as an ingredient in cooking

I got all the tropes, he's doesn't need it, he's just playing, it's just for comfort

I just think people are brought up in different ways. Many people I know their whole family and close friends only formula feed so breastfeeding is alien.

I was the last of my friendship group to have a baby and they all breastfed until 12 months+ so it was normal to me. My mum found it strange and awkward.

I was the only one of extended family who never tried breast feeding although the majority of my friends also exclusively used formula.

I just find it so disappointing that Mumsnet and Mumsnetters are not more pro breastfeeding. I mean, even the bloody logo has a bottle in it!

Why - we can all make our own decisions on how to feel our babies.

Why are you justifying how you fed your children to me? I never said anything negative about bottle feeding?

For me personally, I wanted to stop at 12 months but my child wasn't ready because at that point he couldn't settle to sleep without breastfeeding, so I made the decision not to take it away from him and carry on until around 14 months. When he could finally settle and go to sleep without it I stopped. And I feel it was a caring, selfless thing going an extra 4 months for my child. So imagine having lived experience of that and then reading on a forum "breastfeeding past 12 months is for the mothers benefit not the child" as if that is just a fact. It's just pure ignorance to me and I did find it annoying.

I’ve never justify my decision to anyone (other than DH and we were totally in agreement) - no one needs to. We did sleep training at about five months - they were good sleepers but used a sleep consultant to help reinforce good sleep at the same time as we moved DT’s into their own bedrooms and I went back to work full time.

For my friends it lasted as long as maternity leave and then basically stopped. For me it was because I needed my body back to myself once they had weaned. I don’t know anyone who went beyond about 18months.

.... OK?

I have to take issue with what you have posted here because it is NOT TRUE.

OP, please Google this - you will find reams of research which says there is no link between breastfeeding and osteoporosis, because calcium reserves recover after weaning. Here's an article to start you off with:

https://www.niams.nih.gov/health-topics/pregnancy-breastfeeding-and-bone-health

@chunkybear stop posting irresponsible nonsense.

Demonstrating that we all made the right decisions for our babies and family. There is no right or wrong answer. Neither makes you a better parent.

I read those comments on that thread too, and I find them so bizarre (the ones that said it was weird to breastfeed past 6 or 12 months). I honestly feel that people with this opinion are at worst unintelligent and/or uneducated and ignorant, or at best, just really haven't bothered to think this through (so lazy). I mean we all agree that babies and toddlers need milk, right? So if that's an agreed fact, then why should it be weird to give them the milk that is in, in fact, intended for them?

Yes, it's so weird when people think
Mother's milk = Disgusting!!!
Milk squeezed out of cow udders = 😋👍👍 Delicious!!!

I agree with you completely but you asked why a particular opinion on here annoyed me so I explained. You didn't have to tell me anything about how you did things with your children, I wasn't judging anyone.

People who say this are simple minded at best, a bit perverse at worst. It’s just a silly, vicious way to try and shame women. Anyone who has ever fed a 15m old will laugh at the very idea of it being for mum. By that stage, it’s absolutely all about the child.

The dairy industry has a great deal to answer for.

I think part of it is because we don’t see it. People aren’t used to seeing anyone breastfeed children over 1.

I fed my first until age 2, and stopped when I was 20 weeks pregnant with my second, my 2nd is still feeding throughout the day at 20 months.

People generally don’t know what it looks like to feed a toddler who moves and has opinions about which boob they have or is able to ask for milk or is comforted by it when they’re upset. So I’m not too surprised it makes them uncomfortable. Yet many toddlers use a dummy and nobody bats an eye.

If more people did it we would be more used to it. In other counties breastfeeding is normalised much more. It’s a self fulfilling cycle.

I’ve found it really strange how in a community where families practice attachment parenting in other ways I only really know one other person irl who has breastfed after 18 months and she’s European.

Breastfed my 1st just past 2 years, and my 2nd is just over a year old and I intend on breastfeeding to 2 years too. I personally don't give a flying fuck who finds it weird to breastfeed past what age. I don't easily feel embarrassed, and if people give me sideways look, I maintain eye contact with them until they stop looking. I am just so sick and tired of yet another stick to beat women with, I will fight for this right the breastfeed for however long we want without shame. I do not care if it makes so and so feel weird, tbh. That's their issue to talk to their therapist about.

Ha yep if a toddler doesn't want a bf they are bloody obvious about it!
I bf past the 1 year mark twice (DS1 22 months, DS2 28 months) it definitely wasn't for anything for me they just were adamant.
I didn't see the need to add upset to it and let them naturally wean which they did, no tears etc.

I had 2 raised eyebrows from friends but they don't have kids so I just shrugged it off as they had little understanding of toddlers. Most others weren't bothered in the slightest.

Most can’t feed a 20 month old throughout the day as they are back at work- so probably quite unusual?

I fed my baby pumped breastmilk until he was 11 months old (he could never latch despite a lot of help and is allergic to cows milk). The mental and physical sacrifice was huge. I didn’t realise the negative impact it was having on my mental health until I stopped. I’m only just six months later recovering from the physical affects of the hormones. I wish I had been able to stop sooner.

There is an absolutely massive amount of pressure on moms to breastfeed even if its making them completely miserable. So, little wonder that a lot of women want to stop as soon as it is socially acceptable i.e 6/12/18 months, depending on your social circle.