Is it just a societal norm? (Breastfeeding related)

[Emerald95]

Inspired by last night's controversial opinions thread.
Many women on the thread were saying breastfeeding your child after 6m/1y/2y was weird and by that age a child should be on cow's milk.

I think it is odd to take away the milk made for your baby, and replace it with a cow's breastmilk made for a calf.
Why is giving a child cow's breast milk so normalised? Is it simply because that is what that generations before have done and thus become a societal norm?

I am not a vegan, or even a vegetarian. I am not against consuming animal products but it just seems very weird to be swapping milk produced by a mother for her specific child for milk made by a cow for her calf.

I understand when a child is older and away from their mother for longer periods of time at nursery ect that cow's milk would then be easier. But when the child is mainly at home with their mother, say under the age 3, why should she choose a cow's breastmilk over her own?

Those who hold the view that young children should move onto cow's milk instead of breastfeeding, why?

YABU- Cow's milk is better for a young child
YANBU- Swapping a young child from their mother's Breastmilk to Cow's breastmilk is weird

Research shows that breastfeeding actually reduces the risk of osteoporosis and fractures in later life. And prolonged breastfeeding could also reduce the risk further and may even offer long-term bone health benefits.

You get how science works right? You prove or disprove a hypothesis. Before Google people actually had to engage their brains

Fair enough - a genuine question deserves a genuine answer :) Like most parents, I try and feed my child healthy food. So no to lab grown chicken for now! There is evidence that breastmilk is the healthiest option, and I absolutely don't dispute that. But, as other posters have said, breastfeeding is not always possible for everyone. I think it's not helpful to demonise any position. Some mothers will successfully breastfeed. Some will struggle, through lack of latching and endless bouts of mastitis, and maybe even give up. Some will actively choose formula for reasons that work for them and their families. I don't think it's useful to criticise mums who are doing their best in difficult circumstances, for choices that we may perceive to be not the best. Mostly we don't know the full story and competing factors behind what might have been a very hard choice, and it would be great if we could all just support each other in our feeding choices.

In my case, there was no choice. I had a very traumatic birth, with massive blood loss, and my body simply didn't produce milk after that. But I will never forget the way I was made to feel in hospital for not breastfeeding by the Breast Is Best Brigade, and am therefore staunchly supportive of all women's choices, whilst acknowledging the science behind "breast is best".

@heroinechic - this is incredibly interesting - thanks for sharing.

I absolutely respect your answer 😊

Brainless post

Interesting! Thank you

Instead of continuing to make snarky remarks, why don’t you give a considered response? If you don’t, I’ll just assume that you aren’t capable.

In that post I was saying that there aren’t significant benefits seen in adults who were breastfed as infants. I have since posted about the review by the WHO.

You plainly disagree with this but are yet to explain why or provide any evidence for that.

We agree that breastfeeding is (usually) beneficial to infants.

Your comprehension skills seem poor. We made an excellent decision - happy and healthy children = happy parents, particularly when they both brought me home a 1st. All that formula obviously gave them great brains.
Btw - how old are your DC’s?

Oh I understand your misunderstanding now. I - and previous posters - are discussing society as a whole - the whole cohort of parents. Sometimes formula feeding is chosen for selfish reasons. How babies are fed isn't at all only discussed on MN - there are plenty of conversations/articles/books about it in the real world!

How you choose to feed your baby is a personal choice - nothing selfish about it and such a small issue when bringing up a family.

Unfortunately some posters are blinkered to any opinion other than their own. Who cares how someone feeds their baby - in real life - no one. Some posters claim to be experts when in reality they’re no better a parent than anyone else.

Whoops @chunkybear this isn’t actually true, sorry! Whilst calcium stores can be depleted whilst breastfeeding, when lactation stops the body puts calcium back into bones, you are at more risk of osteoporosis from menopause without HRT.

Also, cows are manmals and have mammary glands, just like humans. We call our mammary glands breasts, and cows mammary glands udders, but they are exactly the same thing.

“Who cares how someone feeds their baby - in real life - no one. Some posters claim to be experts when in reality they’re no better a parent than anyone else”

I care, as do other informed healthcare professionals, we know that infant feeding is a public health issue, and the widespread use of artificial milk is increasing the incidence of lots of health issues, which aside from the pain and suffering these cause, also cost the NHS millions. I don’t claim to be a better parent than anyone, but the 20 years experience I have in infant feeding and lactation possibly might make me, and my colleagues, an expert.

DH is a GP with a long term interest in child health but totally supportive of our decision to use formula . He’s always been supportive of parents right of choice.

I have noticed recently that we seem to be going backwards with attitudes towards breastfeeding- my DDs are 10 & 14 now and there’s definitely a more negative attitude now compared to when I was feeding them. Very sad to see

I think there is also a kind of reverse snobbery with breastfeeding in some areas. I was told by family members that "everyone else FFs their babies, why do you think you are special?", was accused of being negligent because I couldn't see how much milk my baby was getting, and was made to feel like I was attention seeking.
For context, I grew up in a very deprived area and was the first in my family to go to university, plus I married someone from a more middle class background and have always felt like I stopped fitting in anywhere once I moved away. I was very much made to feel that I was breastfeeding to pretend to be middle class.

We seem to have more mum's BF than 30 years ago but more allergies than ever before and not just since COVID.

What a bizarre statement. Those three things have no relation to each other!

But they still were expected to be housewives after having babies. Helped by their female relatives or not. ....strangely we now have people saying keep everyone away for weeks isolate yourself to bond with baby etc....furthrr removing outside support.

@jannierActually I take that back. Formula fed babies are more likely to have allergies than breastfed babies.

You are right that allergies have become more common. There isn’t a definitive answer as to why but it is likely to be environmental factors and genetics

I’m not sure why you’re arguing with me here! Surely you must agree that women should have more support in the newborn days?

Yes I read on another thread a comment about "performatively breastfeeding" that made me feel really self conscious. I use a cover around people we know that I feel less comfortable breastfeeding openly in front of (in laws, male friends/relatives) but don't always use a cover in public because I find it really tricky, my baby doesn't like it and sometimes he seems to get too hot.

@ridl14 people are rather odd. Nothing performative about it. I breastfed DD until she was 17 months and am currently EBF my 6 week old DS - I have never used a cover, never will. As if I want to be messing around with that! I do make an effort to not flash my nipples when I’m out in public.

strangely we now have people saying keep everyone away for weeks isolate yourself to bond with baby etc....furthrr removing outside support.

Isn’t that often due to behaviour from family members who have shown themselves to be more focus on the baby alone than the mother and not actually asking or listening to what the birthing mother needs at the time than what they think she needs.

From most of the threads I’ve read here and on other forums, it is often women having their first and struggling with family members or those who had a bad experience with their first and trying to put up boundaries not to have it happen a second time.

I’m unable to link on my phone but there was also the sibling study that showed benefits had been overstated - most studies look at children in different families, this one compared within families so was able to isolate the effects of breastfeeding from everything else (since BF mothers tend to be more educated, richer etc on average).

It was published in Social Science & Medicine in 2014, by Colen and Ramey.