Is it just a societal norm? (Breastfeeding related)

[Emerald95]

Inspired by last night's controversial opinions thread.
Many women on the thread were saying breastfeeding your child after 6m/1y/2y was weird and by that age a child should be on cow's milk.

I think it is odd to take away the milk made for your baby, and replace it with a cow's breastmilk made for a calf.
Why is giving a child cow's breast milk so normalised? Is it simply because that is what that generations before have done and thus become a societal norm?

I am not a vegan, or even a vegetarian. I am not against consuming animal products but it just seems very weird to be swapping milk produced by a mother for her specific child for milk made by a cow for her calf.

I understand when a child is older and away from their mother for longer periods of time at nursery ect that cow's milk would then be easier. But when the child is mainly at home with their mother, say under the age 3, why should she choose a cow's breastmilk over her own?

Those who hold the view that young children should move onto cow's milk instead of breastfeeding, why?

YABU- Cow's milk is better for a young child
YANBU- Swapping a young child from their mother's Breastmilk to Cow's breastmilk is weird

I feed my first baby until she was 9mths old and felt pressure to give up as apparently swapping to a cup or bottle is so easy 🙄.... I fed my next baby until he was 18mnths, They both felt like my babies, stopping feeding my daughter was horrid. When I say I fed my son until he was 18ths it was literally one bedtime feed and he was still my little baby in my eyes.

But sometimes it is done for selfish, not medical, reasons. There’s no getting around that.

It was one person, who had an illuminating posting history.

Using formula by choice is not selfish or giving your babies a poor start in life. There is no getting around it.
I have healthy DC’s as proof.

This is not true

To answer your question OP, anyone who thinks cows milk is better is delusional. I was fascinated to find out all about breastmilk when I was pregnant, it is truly amazing. It's not a societal norm at all, it's a UK thing (breastfeeding stat's are appalling) and more so, it's a MN thing.

I breastfed my eldest to 20 months and think it’s completely beautiful, however I completely understand why some women struggle with it and why some women feel uncomfortable about it. We are in a society that sexualises breasts, we are constantly seeing breasts as sexual and only rarely do we see breastfeeding. It’s not on individual women, it’s everywhere in media and wider society. It’s understandable that some people find it difficult to see boobs as for babies.

The fact of the matter is this...breast is best. For both baby (nutritionally and protective health-factor wise) and for mother (protective health-factor wise). That is fact - there simply is no point arguing it.
I "extended" breastfed all three of mine and couldn't care less what other people thought/think. Ultimately, I was giving my children the best start in life.

Of course it can be a selfish choice - sometimes it’s explicitly so - perhaps have a think why that might be the case?

There is nothing to think about - DC’s are mid 20’s and perfectly healthy. We made the right decision for them. It’s only on Mn how you fed your baby is discussed - in real life it’s one tiny decision you make as a parent and no one else is interested or concerned.
I couldn’t tell you whether DS’s girlfriend or DD boyfriend or the friends they had growing up were breast fed as it doesn’t matter or make any difference.

I actually went vegan when I was breast feeding my children. Was vegetarian before. I still don’t drink milk but am back on cheese.
We don’t need the milk of other mammal as adults.

I went back to work full-time when DD was 5 months old and I fed her until she was nearly 3.

Breastfeeding is great if it works for both mothers and babies, but when it comes to breastfeeding a child past the age of two or so, I always think of this piece:

https://mommyish.com/my-mom-breastfed-me-until-age-three-and-i-wish-she-hadnt-445/

I have to eye roll at the whole ‘breast is best’ malarkey. Yes, on a purely scientific level it is the preferable option, but that doesn’t make it the best choice for all families. If it’s going to make the mother uncomfortable, negatively impact her mental health, if she doesn’t have the time to dedicate to being trapped on the sofa EBF because of older children etc then it isn’t the best choice for their family. It’s not as though you can pick out the breastfed kids from the formula fed kids. Some of my friends EBF, some FF, you can’t tell the difference!

I do find it odd how judgemental some people are of EBF. My mum was constantly asking when I was going to stop after DD hit 6 months and couldn’t understand why I was still doing it after a year. The simple answer was that it worked for our family!

Thankfully I’ve never experienced any negativity from BF in public but if I ever do, I’ll ask them if they want any 😂

If anyone is genuinely interested in the low rates of breastfeeding in this country and the reasons behind this (and how society can help improve breastfeeding rates), I would recommend reading Breastfeeding Uncovered by Amy Brown.

I’m reading it and it’s fascinating! I’m breastfeeding my DS as I type and it’s really encouraged me to try to continue for as long as I can

@HillbillyBackstroke Some of the issue (not all, of course) is that many women make the choice not to breastfeed at all. That's of course entirely up to them, even if it isn't something we would choose for our children.
And nobody tells you that it can be incredibly painful for the first days and even few weeks and that's actually quite normal - I've had three and fed them all for years and each time I was.determined to grit my teeth for a while in the knowledge it would get better.

Did it? Why do you think we have 2 breasts?

That sounds like so thing for the author to work on in therapy? Not a reason to curtail breastfeeding earlier than one party wants.
(I dont intend to still be BFing by 3 but im not relishing the prospect of forcing him to wean, I can't see him doing it naturally any time soon and he's nearly 18m)

Many of us choose not to breastfeed - it’s a positive decision, not something we’re ashamed or guilty about. It’s only on Mn that posters are obsessed with how others feed their babies. In real life no one is interested as it doesn’t matter to anyone else.

It matters on a population level. No, you can't tell the difference between formula fed and breastfed children by looking at them, but increased breastfeeding rates does mean an overall healthier population. Breastfeeding should be encouraged.

@Parker231 That's what I said? I don't care how you feed your own baby, even if it's not a decision I would ever make personally.

@CommissarySushi And also the reduced risk of certain cancers in mum (if breastfeeding over a certain time) also helps society as a whole?

@Parker231I don’t personally care whether a particular woman (a friend or a stranger) breastfeeds or not. But it is important at a population level. There is so much research and data surrounding the health benefits to both the child and the mother. You’re right in that you can’t tell from looking at a child how they were fed and, like you said, your children are perfectly healthy. But that data is at a population level, not an individual level

Breastfeeding is pushed at you as soon as you’re pregnant. Everyone is perfectly capable of researching feeding their babies in the same way as you research which cot to buy, which nursery to visit, which school to attend. Formula fed babies are perfectly healthy.

Same as I would never make a decision to breast feed but don’t care whether you do.