Grossed out by new partner walking in when I was showering

[HelenaJl]

I have a fairly new partner, my first after my 10 year marriage ended. I stayed at his for the first time last night and went to have a shower this morning (no lock on the door). A few minutes in my partner walked in and used the loo!! He was sat there trying to talk to me and I didn’t know where to look. When I said afterwards I didn’t expect that he said it shows how comfortable he is around me and that his past relationships have always been like that so it’s just normal these days.

I can tell you in my entire marriage my ex never walked in on me to use the loo and vice versa! I found him sitting there and ‘dropping off’ a right turn off to be honest!

DH & I are super comfortable with each other after 20+ years of marriage but no way to pooing!

I think there's still that thing that has existed since the 60s that all embarrassment about anything to do with the body is gauche and bourgeois.

People, 'let it all hang out' didn't mean turds out of arses.

There is. You just wait.

I live in a flat with two bathrooms but in my 20s I used to live in flatshares with one bathroom and realistically most adults people can wait unless they have an ongoing medical issue or stomach bug.

Given that Op didn’t mention that I assume there’s none present here.

My wife and are disgusting and have been together for 9 years, and we've still never pooed in front of each other. That is incredibly vile.

Christ we are pretty open but that is rank.

Some people just really really don’t care and he’s obviously one of them and your not
no drama just tell him not to do it again

Wee yes….no to the poop.💩

Wee no.problem. Poo gross. He would depart and leave u with the smell

First sleepover though?!

Tbh I'd say him being so blasé about it is actually a sign it was boundary pushing.

DH and I are very relaxed about things like that and we wouldn't even dream of an emergency pee when the other was in the shower when there's another free loo!

That's just unnecessary, and in a new relationship suggests zero consideration for your boundaries or wishes.

I don't mind pooing in emergencies in front of my OH - but crucially, we have been together 30 years.

This is performative pooing.

That's an ick I'd never get over. I wouldn't be going back! (Not saying you shouldn't, that's for you to decide!)

PP said maybe he couldn't hold it. But if it was that he'd have said "I'm really sorry I have to go" not just sauntered in like it was nothing, and then tried to tell you it's normal! I just think it's really disrespectful to make that assumption, especially so early on.

There are men who buy poo (I saw it on Olivia Attwood).
Its disgusting to be subject to his use of the toilet.
I bet you he's not very clean body wise?
Ive recently been very ill and although my husband helped me clean myself up after calasping there is no way he would be in the loo with me. Hell he is not allowed to use the ensuite!
There are lots of perverts around these days and they don't give a shit about women (pun intended) Put up and shut up. LTB

He has more than one loo but just had to use the one in the bathroom you were showering in?

The man is a fucking freak. It's either kink or control. Get rid.

My DH has watched 2 babies come out of me, neither of us has a problem with the other using the loo whilst in the same room.

"Goodbye, Shit-Boy."

Of course I do. You clearly don't😂. Read your post again, see if the penny drops.

Then honestly it’s gross

tberes a second toilet so no need to come in and disturb you

at a push desperate for a poo (it happens) and he dashed in. Said sorry

but to do it regularly

shudders

he likes it. Fine
you don’t

so you need to tell him it’s not happening again

doesn’t make you a prude and if he doesn’t respect hour views then time to end the relationship

I agree with this, sure some couples would be comfortable but he knows that others would find it uncomfortable in the extreme.

Or smell!

OP has also said that there was another toilet so he made a conscious decision to come in and poo in front of her.

You cannot handle your 'friend' using the loo, but you discuss it with your friends. Seriously? I agree his having a dump is not pleasant but it sounds as though you would object to his having a pee. I can only assume that you slept in the spare bedroom and are not lovers.

That is so disrespectful and undignified. I once was 'desperate' when my 😱😁husband was already in the shower ...I screamed out! Out at him ...he didn't have time to rinse the soap off one and only time in 50 years of marriage he ior 1 have ever nearly 'toileted' witnessed by the other. We are not toddlers. The only time this will be any different is if one of us is seriously ill and needing some basic help and support. 😁

He immediately dismissed you and told you it was normal. He'll probably say the same when he inexplicably needs to clean his teeth or something while you're using the toilet. There was no need to use that bathroom when he has another toilet. He purposely had a shit in front of you.

There's no lock on the door and he didn't knock or ask if it was ok to come in. He's testing your boundaries OP. He's blasé because he wants to normalise this and make you feel like the odd one for objecting. You're already asking internet strangers if you're feelings are valid......

OP, I'd also be grossed out, then I'd be out.

I think odd because he said nothing, just assumed you were ok with it & also there was another toilet he could have used.

We use the toilet when someone is in the shower if necessary, so I guess we are weird, gross & disgusting!