Grossed out by new partner walking in when I was showering

[HelenaJl]

I have a fairly new partner, my first after my 10 year marriage ended. I stayed at his for the first time last night and went to have a shower this morning (no lock on the door). A few minutes in my partner walked in and used the loo!! He was sat there trying to talk to me and I didn’t know where to look. When I said afterwards I didn’t expect that he said it shows how comfortable he is around me and that his past relationships have always been like that so it’s just normal these days.

I can tell you in my entire marriage my ex never walked in on me to use the loo and vice versa! I found him sitting there and ‘dropping off’ a right turn off to be honest!

I'm nearly 70 and no-one has ever shat while I'm in the bathroom, either!

And vice versa, even when I had campylobacter and was getting next to no warning. It was a big concession not to lock the door, DP convinced me it was a good idea not to in case I passed out in there.

Been married 32 years and my DH never has and never would, do that. Hideous!

I agree with this. Huge red flag. Dump and run, if you’ll pardon the pun.

It’s the wiping as well 🤢.

Oh my god that’s vile. I’d be chucking him faster than a handful of hot shit, almost literally in his case.

Gross!

YANBU

I don't want to see anyone having a shit🤮

if it wasnt a pushing boundary thing why didnt he use the other toilet

The opening gambit in his poo fetish I reckon. Testing you first, then will move on to........

Mix some laxative with his food and run. He'll have the runs then with no audience.

So sorry not nice at all after many years of marriage this has never happened . One does draw the line somewhere, one should have some privacy.

30+ years in and I have Ulcerative colitis. NEVER have I ever pooed in the same room as him, nor him with me.
(I also have faecal incontinence but that is very much on the down low of information I am willing to share).
Also have been "bagged", I hate it and would hate sharing more than "keep out of the bathroom"!!!

This!

Get rid - no one needs that in their life.

I would not see this disgusting man ever again.

That is gross. I even struggle when my DH has a poo in the en-suite when I’m in the bedroom.

It’s not normal in any way.

Often that's how they do it though. The normal answer would have been to say “oh sorry I didn’t think anything of it but if you feel weird about it I won’t do it again.” Why is he bringing up previous relationships to justify it? You’re not his exes!

And re. Your friends replies - while I wouldn’t like it at all and wouldn’t allow it even if I was married, I can see how someone’s husband /long term partner doing that isn’t the same as a man you don’t live with and have only recently started dating shitting in front of you.

This is meant to be the honeymoon stage he’s supposed to be trying to woo and impress you lol if he’s like this already imagine how he’s going to be like as time goes on! This man is far too comfortable with you - ew!

I find it weird. But we have enough bathrooms not to need to do this. I guess in very small houses there's no other real option?

My husband has never seen me on the toilet or vice versa.

That's foul.

This is how I feel too. I’ve told my partner to shut the door etc but he still doesn’t. He peed in front of me on our first night together (sitting down) which I didn’t like. It’s not enough to dump him as I like so many other things about him but I really don’t like it.

Jesus that’s grim. If my DH of 30+ years walked in and took a dump while I was in the shower it would be game over.

Is there? Both are intimate moments in different ways....

This is what makes it really, really strange behaviour. He had a choice of places to go and yet he chose to poo in front of you/ intrude on your shower?!?! That's just fucking weird!!

DH and I will walk into the bathroom when the other is bathing or showering to get something we need or an emergency wee, but if DH went to sit down for a poo I'd give him short shift.

Honestly, I'd have got out that shower and ran as fast as my legs would carry me. If he had another toilet available there is NO reason at all for him to have done that. I think he was pushing a boundary only I'd hate to know what one.... and I wouldn't hang round to find out.

In different ways

Exactly.

There’s no comparison.

And it’s not as if (most) People watch their partner have sex with someone else, they’re apart of and presumably enjoying the experience.

Very different from watching him shit and possibly smelling it afterwards.

Just no.

My partner and I pee in front of each other, but we have both said poo'ing is a no no. Let's leave a little mystery in the relationship.

I have piles at the moment and he wanted to look. I was like ..... God no. Bums are outta bounds!!!