Grossed out by new partner walking in when I was showering

[HelenaJl]

I have a fairly new partner, my first after my 10 year marriage ended. I stayed at his for the first time last night and went to have a shower this morning (no lock on the door). A few minutes in my partner walked in and used the loo!! He was sat there trying to talk to me and I didn’t know where to look. When I said afterwards I didn’t expect that he said it shows how comfortable he is around me and that his past relationships have always been like that so it’s just normal these days.

I can tell you in my entire marriage my ex never walked in on me to use the loo and vice versa! I found him sitting there and ‘dropping off’ a right turn off to be honest!

NO

NO

NO

Disgusting 🫣
He is weird.

No. That would be me done, especially with no conversation about acceptability first.

Other than my own kids pre-toilet training, no one has ever shat in front of me. It may be a natural bodily function etc, but no one needs to witness it.

Revolting.

If there was another toilet available then this just shows exactly how he thinks about you.

Throw this one back!

That wouldn't solve the problem though.

How long have you been going out? He's your partner but this is the first time you've stopped over?

Triple yuk, puts me right off

Well he maybe enjoyed it. Some folk have kinks with poo I've heard. Run for the hills op.

^ this. 🤢

Absolutely no respect for you at all: I wouldn’t want to see him again

And there was a downstairs loo he could have used! Utterly vile.
And if op objects she will probably be accused of being uptight etc. And then he will magically need a poo every time she gets into a nice bath, etc etc
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

The fact he said "past relationships" is maybe they were not as comfortable as he thought, also, he is telling you he will do it whether you like it or not, hmmm! Some things are best kept private. I'm not a prude by any means, but having a crap in front of a new partner/any partner is ick inducing, good luck lovely xx

No that’s gross. Why would you inflict the smell on someone who was having a nice shower apart from anything else? Why wouldn’t he even just ask if it was ok first? He’s basically marking his territory. Get ready for more overstepping.

Boak

This. The guy is obviously utterly obtuse and/or selfish and should be dumped immediately (geddit?) but I don’t know any other bloke who’d behave like this.

I know of a few couples that are happy to do this. It doesn't make it ok though and for me it's an absolute no, I'd actually go as far as to say if you do this you are too comfortable with one another as I'd struggle to want to have sex with someone I'd seen shit.

😂😂😂

Read your post thinking my OH and I would do this without thinking… then I realised you meant a poo! Absolutely no way. There’s a line

Agreed!!

@HelenaJl YANBU OP. A quick wee I could live with, but a poo - absolutely not - particularly when he had the option to use the downstairs loo so why would he even do that? Ugh! Even if he didn't have a second loo, he could have still asked you to hurry in the shower (you could have dried yourself in the bedroom) so he could get in there quickly and do his business in private! 🙄

This is grim. I too would be turned off and given major ICK if a new boyfriend did this. I'd not blame you in the slightest for dumping him now. If there's no lock, this will just be the start....

Yuk ☹️

I think it’s inconsiderate and rude- why shower in the humid smell of someone’s poo?

i think most people don’t do this- to assume you will, without discussions suggesting your tolerance for personal space is insane on his part.

id tell him it’s not ok and if he mocks you or does it again, I would honestly end it. Coz he acts like his needs are more important than yours. And doesn’t respect your wishes! Or just see him casually with lockable doors!

My husband and I shared a single bathroom flat for 10 years. So we didn’t have much choice but to do this considering I have IBSz

Hi
Total disrespect for you and your privacy -
never mind his! This would be end of the road for me.

That’s fucking gross. I’m nearly 60 and no man has ever taken a shit while in showering in same bathroom

I agree he’s testing your boundaries. I think it would be a deal breaker for me - 🤮