To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

There’s a middle ground where you accommodate it but not at the expense of the enjoyment of other people. Fine to have chicken if there’s other stuff she will eat to make a decent meal, it doesn’t all have to be suitable for her. If it was the only thing she didn’t like then I’d make something else but if she has a long list of dislikes and catering for them would cause a lot of hassle, then I’d just crack on and make sure there were some sides she can load up on. I think very picky people kind of accept that they will sometimes have to make do when I out at restaurants, out for dinner, etc.

As a very picky eater I have tried the whole 'eat what is in front of you thing'. Certain foods I don't like set me off gagging. It's completely involuntary. I don't chose to be this way, and I wish so so badly I wasn't. I don't chose to be such a picky eater just to annoy the rest of you. Trust me if I could change my tastebuds I would.

Don’t really care if someone thinks I don’t have manners because I don’t want to eat something that I don’t like. It’s very rude for the host to not cater to the needs of the guest, that’s plain bad manners in my opinion.

I accommodate people's tastes and wouldn't serve eg salmon as the main course or starter if I knew one of the guests loathed fish - but I would probably serve cold salmon if I was doing a summer buffet. No one is going to force anyone to take it from the buffet.

OTOH I have known a couple of really, really picky eaters, to the point that any trip to a restaurant with one of them revolved around her cross-examining the waiter (and we'd be eating out because no one was prepared to try and cook for her and her almost-as-fussy BF). I'm 99% certain it was a complete attention-seeking performance, because she declared herself 'allergic to alcohol' but would always want 'just a few sips' of whatever booze her BF was drinking.

Good manners is checking beforehand if the dishes are suitable for your guest.

I can’t stand red meat (I’m not a veggie) just red meat (esp steak) is too ‘meaty’ for me, the smell the texture!

I also don’t like any ‘sweet’ food with a savoury meal (my tastebuds just hate it), this includes normal things like carrots, sweetcorn, sweet potato/ parsnip), so you can imagine my Sunday or Christmas dinner is quite sparse!

I’m sure it must be annoying to some people but I just don’t like it and can’t help it!

i also can’t stand the touch of velvet (again no reason why) appreciate this is a good thread but surly this is similar it’s just an irrational dislike and honestly I don’t do it on purpose to annoy people like you OP!

Both of my children (7and4) and it's absolutely bizarre because they eat a fair range of stuff that's more interesting than chicken but are horrified at the idea of chicken unless it's nuggets form. Must be the texture. They like turkey. Little weirdos

You'd tell people in advance of them cooking for you - obviously.

This

Not liking chicken doesn’t make her picky though.

I don’t like beans or nuts. I’m not picky, and will generally eat most things. I just don’t like beans and nuts.

What if they didn't know and presented you with something they'd spent time and money preparing for you?

Eat my food otherwise you have bad manners and are rude 🤣

If you can’t find polite words to tell someone you don’t like something I suspect you have bigger problems than what others will or won’t eat.

If someone else is cooking for me, I will always be grateful, whether I like it or not. DS19 has cooked me some absolute horrors, but so what? He is learning, and I didn't have to lift a finger.

We regularly host and are hosted by friends. No one has ever asked likes/dislikes. I have only ever had one person pull a bit of a face because she wasn't convinced by the idea of the starter I had prepared. Once she tasted it though, she asked for more.

Despise is a strong word op. Is your life really this black and white?

There are no polite words, I don't think

For me if it’s fish then sorry, mate!

I’d be very appreciative of their effort, acknowledge that they didn’t know but I’d rather not eat X but will really enjoy Y and Z that accompanies it.

Oh God why do people take titles so literally, I don't actually despise them obviously but I do think they're very rude and entitled

Oh how I’d love to be a fly on the wall tomorrow at this family event!! OP in an arse of a mood from start to finish! 😆

Actually that is what I’d do. Not just sorry.

Would you actually say it though? Why can't people just politely keep their preferences to themselves

I think it’s just the opposite. I completely understand allergies and ARFID.

People who follow philosophical/religious diets are what I would call picky eaters.

What? “Thank you for your kind invitation, if it helps your menu planning I really don’t like haggis”.

As a host, I would hate to think someone hated eating my dish because they hadn't told me they strongly dislike something. I would rather someone be honest and tell me they can't eat something, I don't think that's necessarily bad manners.