To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

Oh OP, you’re hot, bothered and in a real grumpy mood. I bet everyone is downstairs just relaxing now you’ve slammed the door shut to your bedroom and curiously tapping away on your phone.

Im right aren’t I?! 😆

Well I "can" eat cabbage but only if you don't mind seeing me projectile vomit it up again.

I don't see the point of hosting unless you are prepared to accommodate the guest's preferences. It should be a pleasurable experience, not something like school dinner in the 1970s with a stern dinner lady standing over you.

I don't think you HAVE to host meals, and in fact, I don't often as my co-ordination difficulties make me less than a great cook. Having people over just for coffee or tea is great; so is going to the cafe or pub. If you dislike cooking, or if you're dealing with someone so fussy that they hardly eat anything, or with several different people who all have different dislikes, then try and keep hosting to a minimum. But if you wish to host, surely you also want your guests to enjoy it, not just eat it up as a duty?

Having said that, it is rude to let the host know of your dislikes at the last minute when the food has already been bought and the meal planned.

I did blame my MIL, I think she was rude to be so horrified and aghast at the effort.

You and SIL generally don’t get on do you Op?

I know someone, who if we *only made what they wanted for a buffet spread, it would be a buffet of pizza, ham sandwiches on white bread, and chocolate cake.

why so aggressive?
Why can't it be 'you can make do or just not eat it?'

Personally I agree with the several posters who have asked why bother having people over if you don't want them to enjoy themselves, but (to a certain extent) I can understand if people can't be bothered to go to a special effort for one fussy person - e.g. if you're planning a seafood meal and one friend doesn't like fish but likes really spicy food it's reasonable to not cook an entire curry just for them.

But it doesn't have to be so black and white - just make sure there are some bland options that pretty much anyone can eat - nobody is going to die of starvation from having a slightly smaller meal than they'd expected.

e.g. I'm not a huge fan of seafood but if I came to yours I'd just eat the sides, things like the salad, rice or potatoes, bread, dessert, etc., and be perfectly happy and grateful. I wouldn't expect you to cook a whole separate meal for me but neither would I expect to be told to fuck off just because I didn't fancy the lobster!

But then lots of people on MN don't seem to actually like their friends and family and host them with an undercurrent of burning resentment...

What an awful attitude! If you’re catering for others then surely you actually check what they like beforehand! You’d absolutely hate me! I have real issues around certain foods and textures. There are a number of foods that actually make me throw up. It’s not a choice for lots of people!

But its the "picky eaters" that you despise? I despise judgy people so there you go.

People are allowed to refuse food they don’t like! I’m pretty easy going with food, but if you served me jellied eels and tripe, and expected me to eat it just because you’d cooked it, I’d either politely decline, or try and vomit in front of you. People like and dislike food for all sorts of reasons. Provided you’ve checked with your guests that they like your food offerings, you’ll be fine. I’m not a massive fan of very very spicy/hot food. If I went to dinner with someone who served that, I wouldn’t eat it because I don’t like it, I don’t find it enjoyable and I’d like to actually taste my food.

OK, forgot about marzipan and cucumber...🤢

This thread title should be renamed

to despise my MIL and SIL

of course you can say your preferences as long as it is a short list, I hate dried fruit and DH hates coriander and goats cheese it is hardly going to rule out a whole lot of things is it to make those known!

well, I don't like sweetcorn, but I'll put up with it if its mixed in with other things. The only thing I cannot abide with is dessicated coconut.

Me too. I don't mind too much but it tends to break up the party.

Why? I couldn’t eat something I don’t like, thankfully my friends don’t want me to do that either. I would be mortified if a guest felt they had to eat something they disliked in my home.

Yes we do, because I'm very cooperative with other entitled behaviours. SIL is very nice but she and MIL are quite set in their ways- a part of the fussiness I take issue with is that they voice it, and it can feel as though everyone's efforts to do anything for them come up short. I acknowledge some of the genuine fussy eaters on this thread probably do struggle to eat some foods but I think a majority of people who have such rigid preferences are often also quite difficult guests in many other ways and self centred.

The whole “eat what you are given, it’s rude otherwise” comes from the poor mentality. My nana did this, she grew up very poor after the war, it was just something they said to make people feel grateful they even had a meal to eat, but in reality they couldn’t afford any other food. It really has nothing to do with manners but everything to do with money and not wasting it.

“Well I "can" eat cabbage but only if you don't mind seeing me projectile vomit it up again.” I used to love school cabbage. Still do! And liver and bacon!

So you found your adult words then 😆

I don't despise them at all, I get on with them but I cand abide fussy eating and all the nonsense that goes with it.

We are a pain and most of us know we are! I am embarrassed by my ‘pickiness’ I wish I was more like my husband who loves all food!

So she isn’t just “entitled” about food?! What a surprise you think that 😆

So you found your adult words then 😆

what about those who were force fed as children? and those foods trigger their trauma. Don't judge, its a pain but people have their reasons....